The me no one knows - SI warning

Quick Google search.. Lego figures approx 4cm in height. N scale locomotives approx 3cm in height.

ability to have more landscaping, buildings etc within moderate space

well done with your Aldi buys. I’ve heard Ultrasound cleaner makes cleaning so easy. No harm being able to monitor your own blood pressure. Does it come with standard length cuff? One I have has standard length cuff, had to buy longer cuff for practicality.

does differences in temperature have impact on you? Ie heat drain your energy quicker. Just curious. Woman I used to know who has MECFS and fibromyalgia used to stay that different temperatures affected her differently.

few years ago she agreed to have a friend of hers from interstate stay at her home for a week. With mix of having her own 2 cats, fostering 4 cats, her lethargy etc, took 3 of us almost a week to clean her house.

Time to get off here, check battery in couple of cameras (courtesy of my late husband I have 3 working digital cameras) and get some things done. Current plans, model trains exp tomorrow morning.

almost forgot, TW warning box request actioned this morning, at least 11 hours after I posted the info about car and golf clubs

@Flutterbug9 Hello lovely how are you feeling today?

It sounds like you had a strict and controlled childhood. It would have really affected you not being able to explore and express your own identity and preferences too. I notice you’ve uploaded a picture but it’s not showing up for me. I’m not sure if moderators have approved it yet or if it’s a technical error. I’m really glad you can now have the type of hairstyle you like!

Im glad you did get to trivia and that you were reassured your sharing was welcomed. 🙂 Soubds like you have met some really good women 🙂

You know that’s a great idea to prepare a spreadsheet to provide to the new psychiatrist. That will give them in depth and important information about you.

I’ve been experiencing major depression, anxiety and complex ptsd coupled with taper. The taper just makes it all so much more intense. I can’t do basic things, I’m isolated and just existing. I don’t think very highly of myself and get very emotional about my situation. I’m exhausted living like this day after day. I’ve tried to reach out to support services but they don’t have any expertise on multiple disabilities or more chronic mental illness. I’m sick of being let down. I’m safe. I just feel so worthless and that things will never change. I wish I had people F2F that I could engage with.

@Flutterbug9 Oooh I love them all! Thank you!!! Dog chasing tail and making ends meet made me laugh lol! 😂

@AuntGlow Hello lovely how are you? Not sure when you are on next but I just got to your message.

Im needing really decent wrap around support for people with chronic mental illness. Complex PTSD, anxiety and major depressive disorder. I’m also tapering at the moment. My nervous system is a complete mess. Due to being deaf/blind and having part foot amputation due to chronic illness I need a service that can work with multiple disabilities. I’m socially isolated and don’t have family to turn to. I can’t afford a psychiatrist as I’m on the disability pension. Short term support doesn’t help. 😞

It’s hard for me to get to rhings due to disability and currently the heat. My chronic illness is badly affected by heat. I can’t afford a have a stroke or heart attack so I have to be very careful. My seeing guide dog cannot work in hot weather either it’s unsafe for him being a dog.

I’m safe.

@Cuddlebear I removed lot of photos from my profile as was considering leaving the forums completely. Was lots of things that all added up and I was drowning. Important things sorted. I’m safe and I’m not leaving the forums, I haven’t got back to putting photos back.

the photo is hairstyle I really like, similar style I had for awhile in my 20’s (I caved under pressure that time and starting letting the sides grow, getting trims whilst was growing it one length all over. I’ve got natural wave in my hair which is quite thick. At least twice a year having it thinned out due to the weight. Currently shoulder length and getting tied back on hot days. Appointment in 10 days at hairdresser.

I’ve typed my story before, not in as much detail though. Majority of the time I’m numb, no feelings, “that wasn’t my life” type thing. Times when bubble burst and reality kicks in, I’m a total mess (to put it nicely). Compared to what yourself and others went through with type of abuse, I count myself fortunate

lady where I live who I’ve become friends with is great to talk to. She has seen the photo and is very eager about catching up for lunch in couple weeks as wants to see exactly what my hair looks like. She has never shared what, i am aware though she has trauma background connected to something that happened in her childhood plus things to do with her 2nd husband, now. Ex.

it has taken thoughts, time and support through the forums for me to decide to take steps I’m comfortable with. Change in hair style plus change in bras (aiming for flatter, smaller look). Trying to get to bottom of top loading washing machine and can’t easily do so as parts of your body get in the way …. Those days have gone 🙂

psychiatrist sent me email with patient questionaire attached fir me to complete, emailing mentioning about making most of our time by doing the form as soon as possible. Very thorough form including asking details of all my current meds, last guy never asked anything like that.

hope you don’t mind me asking

- would decreasing rate and amount of taper possible be beneficial at all?

- if yes, is it possible?
- anything your GP can do to help eg house visits, doing research on your behalf for supports?
- have you heard of Cherished Pets? Website link

(Just a thought as possible option for help with your fur babies and reduce one area of stress)

I remember from when I was working, in my area there was couple of business that had volunteers ‘working’ with them. Volunteers that went into the community helping people with different things and/or proving company. Wondering if there might be something similar in your area.

I can’t even start to imagine the challenges you are currently facing. From what you have mentioned, it’s fully understandable you feel let down. (((Hugs))). Think anyone would in similar circumstances.

you are not worthless. You are a wonderful, caring lady who is important. Those of us who have come to you know you via the forums cherish you. Please talk to us here as often as you like about whatever you like. Sorry we can’t be with you in person, if I could I would.

hanging in there. Please know you are in my thoughts daily

@Flutterbug9 Oooh I’m so glad you got some Lego done. It seems to be popular in the forums. 🙂 I think kitty can definitely tell how you are feeling and wanting to give you some affection and love. They really can pick up in their humans feelings and can be a real source of love when needed.

How was the croquet? Is it hard to do? Not sure if you went today because it’s so hot. Hitting the 40’ in Victoria.

I hope you’ve been able to eat well and get more than 4 hours sleep. It’s really exhausting isnt it when sleep is hard and you wake up tired.

I’ve kept indoors today. Just going to have a sandwitch for dinner. Too hot for anything else.

@Flutterbug9 I’ve been tagging you directly. I didn’t want my distress to upset you.

You’ve done absolutely nothing to trigger me I think we had some confusion with the way I worded stuff.

I really really love talking to you on the forums and want to support you.

@Flutterbug9 Hello my friend. I’m finally catching up to today’s posts. Yay!

Im really glad you have decided to stay on forums. I know I’d miss you a lot if you were not here.

I really like that hairstyle! I have a Pixi cut but needs a trim which I’ll get around to eventually.

I can understand the numbness in feelings then they burst and it’s overwhelming and we become a mess. Nervous system completely thinks we’re in danger and doesn’t shut off. Everyone’s experiences are just as valid and trauma is awful and often coupled with anxiety and depression too.

Im really proud of you for doing things with your body thet make you feel good. It’s really awesome a lady where you live has connected with you. She’s right about the hairstyle. It’s a really good cut. Especially now in summer but also great for winter too.

Im a more bigger woman these days size wise and my boobs do get in the way. Trying to find comfortable bras that are affordable and don’t cause sweating can be tricky for me. Even when I’m thinner I’m still busty.

Wow the psychiatrist form is thorough. That’s a really good sign as most don’t even bother with any forms to give them insight and to prepare for the therapy and appointments. This is a really good sign.

I don’t mind you asking questions. 🙂

Ive had a hold on the taper desputw my GP pushing me to go down more. He even cut out appointments to fortnightly instead of weekly because I said I can not keep tapering this fast. I feel punished. 😞 I’m too anxious to seek out a new GP as I have chronic health conditions and disabilities and a new GP could be even more of a disaster. There’s none nearby that specialise in MH either so can’t have 2 GP’s. my GP thinks it’s my fault but the truth is they tapered way too quick and out of the recommended guidelines. This is what has caused the severe withdrawals. My GP doesn’t even keep up with the up to date information and I take it to him and then he ignores it.

I live in outer Melbourne so there’s nothing by way of support that you mention unless I’m over 65. Then the Council has some support. I’m in early fifties. I’ve tried so many places and nothing.

I havnt heard of cherished pets but will take a look! Thank you thwts a real help.

Thank you for seeing worth in me. It’s rarely that anyone says things like that to me. It means a lot to hear it from you and that I’m valued here.

Im hanging in there. It’s messy but I’m not giving up! I do need to connect here more and get those feelings of being burdensome under control.

I totally understand it taking time to be open on the forums. When we’ve been hurt in the past or had negative experiences when sharing how we really feel it takes time to open up. The good thing is you can decide what you are comfortable in sharing and when too. Considering there’s no private chat function it can be hard to really open up knowing anyone can read the post you put up.

as a child I had Lego my parents bought me. Somewhere over the years I don’t have it anymore. Might have been during one of the house moves, might have been because “I got too old”, no idea by now.

I got confused on which Saturday I’m one of the people going to be playing croquet for the demonstration games. Turned out it wasn’t today, thank goodness. It’s actually the last Saturday next month…. Oops

croquet is a game of 50% skill and 50% luck. Standing with feet apart, using a long handled T shaped mallet, 2 teams of 3 players, players alternating taking a shot eg team A player 1, team B player 1, team A player 2, team B Player 2 etc. idea being for one team to get as many of their balls through the hoops as possible. It’s 100% legal and part of the game to hit ball of player from other team out of the way to increase one’s own team of winning.

I did grocery run this morning. Went to nearby bakery and bought mini Hawaiian pizza, some date scones and an apple scroll. I’ve been semi grazing this afternoon. Pizza for late lunch, scroll for afternoon tea. I’ll get either some yoghurt or some cantaloupe in couple hours.

I'm also catching up on post today too @Cuddlebear !

Good to see you @Flutterbug9 @Cuddlebear @AlwaysMyself 🙂

@Flutterbug9 , I like your grocery run. That's my sorta ood!