The me no one knows - SI warning

So true that when you've been looking for a good medical provider (especially a specialist like a pdoc) a 5 month wait doesn't seem so bad. 😏. It still feels hard though when there is no interim support for whatever aspects require a pdoc. But I guess if its mostly for medication reviews then GP can do that in the interim, and the psychologist for the supportive therapy.

Ah, I have seen the Halaxy software somewhere... I think booking appointments online I have seen some link to it. That makes sense. My chiro clinic trialled an AI note-taking software for a few weeks, but decided not to continue with it. Not sure why, because it seemed to pick up things pretty well - from some of the things it noted down. But perhaps that was the problem - it couldn't differentiate between what was chit-chat whilst doing the chiro adjustments and what was talking about the spine and symptoms that it needed to record lol.

I totally hear you @AlwaysMyself . Thinking back to my own recovery, even the weekends were hectic. It was like everything else is shut. What do I do?

You're right in saying that a 5 month wait is not THAT long, but if a person is struggling day to day, it can be so difficult.

In the past, I had planned admission into PARCs or Continued Care Clinics. Not sure if you have them in your area? I found these super helpful. Often because of the peer support I receive by being around others who had experienced MH challenges and gone through the system.

---

@Flutterbug9 wrote:

thinking of something you said about chest size causing back pain. Remembered coworker from many years ago that had same issues and had reduction surgery. Anything to help reduce pain

---

One of my first jobs was in a physio clinic, and I remember a patient said they had a reduction surgery due to back pain. I remember being a bit happy-jealous that they could reduce their size lol. If it were me i would have totally chosen to do a full removal. I hope @Jynx doesn't have back pain, but if you do... yep this is another avenue to top-surgery lol. I don't know how back it has to be before it gets to that, though. It always stuck in my mind, because the 2 patients were having a chat between the curtain-cubicles -- one had a reduction surgery, and the other one wanted an implant 😂.

---

@Flutterbug9 wrote:

saw on one of your posts about Auslan. Is it online or in person course? Do you able to put your skills into use at times? I enrolled in TAFE course, maybe 20yrs ago, something to do with communication. Meant getting off train after full day at work, doing the course and finally going home. Very long day. Somehow as part of that I got to me guy who is blind and had 2 guide dogs, one of which was retired. I also started doing AUSLAN course on the weekends. Didn’t finished the TAFE course, thoroughly enjoyed the AUSLAN course and open days at place where course was run (open days were great to try out things from class plus try to learn new signs, everyone only signed for hour or 2 couple times during the day)

---

I am enrolled for an online course where I can do all the theory for the formal certificate qualification, and then a class that will 'polish up' the gaps in my skills up to the completion of the Diploma level (highest level before doing Interpreter qualifications). When I first began to learn Auslan I didn't get involved in the Deaf community and didn't get to know any Deaf, so then I didn't use it for a few years. But I re-started it 15 years ago and did get involved in the community socially, and have been fluent since then. The first time I started learning Auslan it was whilst doing my Year 11 and 12 studies, so it meant twice per week for 2 years I would go from school to TAFE (3hr class) by bus, then get home a bit after 10pm on those 2 school nights. Was exhausting, so the second year I chose to not do the theory subjects - just the practical language, so that it was only once per week. I personally think your State is the best state to learn in - because it has the most resources. But Sydney (where I learned) was also pretty good for it, and I was very fortunate to become friends then (and thus learn most of my language socially from them) with someone who is now very well respected in the Australian Deaf community. It's funny now when I am at socials with students who and then talking about "these great videos by ...." and I smile to myself because they are the person who essentially taught me my Auslan beyond my basic Certificate II level 😊. I remember when they went through their TAFE course to learn to be a teacher later on.

The first person I knew who is trans is actually from the Deaf community. They have spoken (well, signed?) about what it is like about the intersectionality between being both transgender (NB) and Deaf. Let me know if either of you are interested FB or @Jynx and I can send a link to a video. A lot of it is about how Deafness further affects ability to find information or support for a minority group.

---

@tyme wrote:

In the past, I had planned admission into PARCs or Continued Care Clinics. Not sure if you have them in your area? I found these super helpful. Often because of the peer support I receive by being around others who had experienced MH challenges and gone through the system.

---

@tyme the MH service a few weeks ago did mention the 2-week residential equivalent of a PARC in my area. However there was very little information about what a typical day looks like on their website, and when I later called the MH service to find out more it sounded quite rigid with the "life skills" behavioural-activation aspects - which could clash quite a bit with my burnout and chronic fatigue. For example the requirement to cook meals (as a required activity for life skills in their program); I use pre-made nutrition bars and occasionally bulk-cook meals to freeze to supplement other meals. Because of my chronic fatigue, if I cook a meal I am then too tired to eat (it took me 3 hours to eat my dinner last night after having cooked it, and it wasn't a particularly honorous recipe, and I took breaks whilst making it - over the course of 1hour broken up). Plus because of my dietary needs I need to be very considerate about what I can/should eat to balance things, and if they are providing the food/recipes/etc, that isn't going to work either. The MH service said a private hospital admission would be a better option if things declined and I needed residential support.

I'm somewhere in-between currently. I don't need 24/7 residential support, but the benefit of it would be having someone available (or understanding people to be around) on days I am needing extra support. This is why a drop-in service would be the perfect thing for me currently. However my counsellor has today offered that if I am having a tough day on one of her other work days, I can SMS her to ask if there are any available appointments as an extra that day to slot me in. And I won't feel bad about that, because I am paying for the appointment 😅. The upside of have a non-Medicare-eligible counsellor is they tend to be less booked-out lol.

Hey @AlwaysMyself ,

Yep, that's the type of service I'm referring to.

For me, it was super helpful. There is someone 24/7 you can speak to.

Yes, they say you have to cook meals, but what we did then was you choose a day, and your 'meal' can be just helping to cut the veges.. the workers there help out.

So just a run down of a day for the PARC I stayed at:

- morning meeting to discuss the day; we collaboratively chose the topic for a recovery session e.g. health, sleep, self-harm etc.

- we choose what we want to do according to the calendar of activities e.g. shopping, coffee outing, dog walking, exercise, movie, craft, etc

- the workers are always there to check in with you

Back then, the stay was 4 weeks. Then, because of funding, it was reduced to 2 weeks.

I had 4-5 stays - they were planned admissions, and so so helpful in terms of being recovery focused. That is, during intake, you work with a key worker to determine recovery goals while you are there. It may be to get out of bed, self-care, building routine etc. You choose yourself.

Feel free to ask if you have any questions and I'll do my best to answer them. However, this is from my own experience. If there are questions about the ins and out of the service, it may be good to speak to whoever recommended it to you.

Here for you.

Only breed of cat I’m aware of that takes to water and enjoys swimming is Turkish Van. Whatever happened after the incident with cat being put into the bath, I learnt not to do it again (suspecting I was punished, no memory of it. Probably few smacks from mum with her hand and being sternly told off.)

need to refresh my memory what I mentioned that this relates to.

similar to something Tyme said once, when you don’t know it’s not “normal” you know no different. In late primary I was quite naive.

uncanny plus very sad that 2 people born decades apart appear to have experienced variety of similar traumatic events. By mid teens, in current terms, had active SI. I was told not to say certain words again

fyi I deliberately left out details of certain things abuse related. Doubt would meet community standards if did go to share. Part was lots of verbal threats of “xxxx will happen if you don’t do as told including threats to my pets”. (Details of couple things came out during last psychologist appointment)

Worst pain I had due to cysts was on a day I had gone for a drive. Between 90mins to 2hrs drive from home and felt like punch with extreme force into lower lumber area near my spine. 1st scan at general pathology, one cyst. 2nd scan requested by gyno, maybe 2 mths later, at specialist ultrasound clinic showed 2 cysts, 1st cyst had more than doubled in size. I’d had numerous cysts removed during yrs prior, decided to have surgery, best option for me

2 sisters in next generation have PCOS. Youngest also has had kidney issues all her life. Family all quite surprised she hasn’t had transplant surgery

My GP is easy to talk to, has good people skills @AlwaysMyself. She doesn’t do reviews for meds issued by specialists hence why each few mths she has been doing referral and/or phone call to small number pdoc in my area, shortest wait time I’m aware was about 6mths ago was 15 to 18mths.

from things I experienced when I working, too often are people with one restriction/disability subjected to other segregation.

definitely interested in being able to watch and listen to the video, much appreciated

I have a warped sense of humour, found similar in those in Dead community, especially on open days. They knew when we didn’t didn’t understand what was being said/signed or happening, never gave us an inch. Their faces showing they were enjoying themselves

@Flutterbug9 re: realising things were not "normal" compared to friends - sharing the room with your parents, dressing/undressing in front of you, etc.

🤗<- big hug. I knew you had experienced verbal abuse, from some triggering words, and suspected maybe some physical due to your mother & you moving house for those years. It is hard with the guidelines around non-specific; but know that within that I am open to you saying anything. For some reason, whilst I am a very empathetic and compassionate person, knowing things that have historically happened to someone or are currently being experienced but were not of my own fault (perceived or real fault, blame or self-blame) are not triggering for me. However, if I gas-light myself about things.. oh boy! haha but I have learned to ask people (and if needed, people not involved) for their thoughts rather than just assume and self-blame!

I am glad you survived. I am glad your child and teen and young adult self kept you safe. I am glad you continue to keep yourself safe. 🤗 And I hope that now that you are safe that over time and gentle experience you can now heal and in turn be able to return the "keeping yourself safe" thoughts/behaviours (that are not longer required) to their place in the cupboard, and access the "I am safe currently" thoughts/behaviours that help you integrate your current situation.

I remember an early psychologist explain to me about respecting the role of the past coping behaviours - because they are what kept me safe and protected at that time. And even those which may not have been the most helpful or best behaviours - they were my self trying its best at that time. And its OK to respect them, but also to be able to find new tools/methods and continue to grow and heal and leave those behind without any self-blame or shame. 😊 This is where I come from with the above paragraph. And of course things usually aren't "cold-turkey" --- they are sometimes a constant practicing and trying as best as possible. It doesn't have to be "all of nothing" "pass/fail". 😊

@AlwaysMyself similar to something you mentioned regarding memories. My memories, including as an adult, tend to fit into specific groups

- things/times don’t remember

- things remember and wish I I don’t

- unsure if some are my own memories or things I’ve been told and my mind has turned into, what it thinks is, an actual memory

- actual memories to which my mind questions, “did that really happen” even though I know it did

example of the latter. Padlock on both sides of my bedroom door to try to stop my father getting into my room and destroying school work, uniform or both. Damage to door frame due to padlock being forced open more than once.). Minor compared to some things. (To be clear, No CSA and, technically, no physical abuse). Close to but never hit, not talking with hands

Oh yeah, there is a "Deaf smile and nod" that many sadly grow up with because of having to pretend to know what is going on in (hearing) conversations and/or education/work situations. 😢. but yep, students have this experience when they are in the Deaf community because so often things are too complex or fast (or simply just a new sign/word to learn! or a different "accent"!) and you've got no clue what is being talked about and just have to pretend and "smile and nod" 😅. There are still some styles of signing that I can't understand until I get to know the person more - especially those who are from families of strong Deaf heritage who have been raised in fully-Deaf households for a few generations.

I found a written article too, in case that is preferable: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-01-09/dion-galea-bringing-trans-awareness-to-deaf-community/13043028 which is related to this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGHspEhw5wg

Video about intersectionality of Deaf & trans - esp with access to information: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7fYddDinO4