The me no one knows - SI warning

@Flutterbug9 holding on to the cat pic. It would be pretty hopeless to think that what ive had so far is the best possible 😅 so thats one that i can hold a bit easier.

I know the world is better with me in it, but knowing that and believing it doesnt help me anymore. ☹️

Got my bloods and ecg done. Had to go 3 places. Second place did my bloods but not my ecg. Sent me to another centre 10min away for ecg. They said the other centre could have done it, and even if they didnt want to do a sitting one they could have sent me literraly accross the road to their other collection centre which does them laying down *and* has a female. Literally less than 50m away from them by walking - just inside the shopping centre.

Now back at those same shops where the bloods were taken to drop into to medicare mh centre to ask about their peer support group and also if they have or know of quiet safe places to sit when in distress but not to be alone. But theyre about to shut for lunch in half an hour. So i have to come back in 90min after the 1hr closure. So now im sitting outside on the paving waiting. 60min to go. At least i dont have to pay and its up the road from the shopping centre so not many people pass by, mostly cars.

What a morning. But my bloods and ecg for the research trial are done. Go me.

Well done. So proud of you getting through the tests this morning plus making big decision to wait to speak to staff at Medicare MH centre.

energy bar, drink, something to do to help pass the time?.

frustrating when getting feeling of ping pong.

went through that once last year after which I lodged a complaint with staff at 2nd place I had to go to. Not their fault which they knew. I got heard and acknowledgment that shouldn’t have happened and training was needed.

im feeling low, making myself go to trivia even though dont feel like it. I mentioned via sms a bit about reason behind decision to get radical hair style to only person where I live I trust and thought I might get some understanding. (Had similar style in my 20’s so not new for me). SMS replies include she understands and thinks hair style will look good. Getting little pangs of hurt. Feeling I said too much. Have sent sms inviting her to go out to cafe one day this mth(which we have done before), waiting for reply. This is person who offered to come on 4hr one way country drive with me.

happy to hear you like the cat. I’m with you 100% about knowing and feeling being too very different things

possibly need a clone. 🤣 (now I’m getting silly)

@AuntGlow Hello lovely it’s always so good to hear from you.

You are an amazing worker on these forums.

I really hope that whatever is happening behind the scenes is going to see improvement. I feel that these changes might be too big a load for peer support workers and am worried about burn out and not being able to be available here. Are there more staff coming on board?

it would help if a post was made clearly outlining what is going on because so far the posts are quite vague.

I’ve been really struggling and can’t find support in the community. Services can’t help as I’m too complex. I need some longer term support in Victoria but can’t find anything.

@Flutterbug9 Hello. I’m sorry I’ve been off forums trying to catch up.

I’ve been feeling much the same as you but for different reasons.

I have been thinking of you. Hoping that you are getting some relief.

I don’t want to push or trigger you so I wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and here if you want to chat.

@Cuddlebear Please don’t feel you can’t ask me things or talk to me. If I’m not comfortable to provide a reply I would politely let you know.

Toward end of last week and over the weekend lots of things built up until my system said enough is enough hence tears, frustration and anger.

some recent posts on this thread with few people have helped with few things, helped me feel I’m not alone with one specific thing. Within myself feeling lot more at peace. I was raised with parental views of everything is black and white only. Made to wear certain style of clothing and expecting to act in certain ways eg, from mid teens my father expected me to leave school, learning to cook, clean etc and was made to wear dresses all the time, unless in school uniform.

im not a girlie girl. I don’t do makeup or have interest in wearing dresses, skirts or clothing that shows off my figure. Never have.

couple weeks time have appointment with hairdresser for, what some might say, radical hair cut. I’m going back to hair style similar to what I had in my 20’s, heaps shorter than current length and complete different style. Wanting to have hair style similar to this

I went to trivia this afternoon which was a positive move for me. Got chatting with woman from where I live who I get along with really well. Felt I had upset her with things I shared. So relieved that I didn’t.

do you feel up to sharing what’s been happening recently that has left you feeling down?

(im on the forums on my iPad and updating spreadsheet with summary of me life on laptop. Am seeing new psychiatrist in June, will be emailing her the spreadsheet prior to appointment so she has info on my past)

I really appreciate you sharing all of this with me @Flutterbug9 💛

Part of recovery includes the ebb and flow of our mental health, so you are more than allowed to show up in all of your wonderful humanness here. We don't want you to feel like you can't share at all and we absolutely want to be a safe and comforting space for you to confide in - a recovery focus just means letting us know what you might be able to do to support yourself throughout this experience too. 🫶

I was just in a meeting with my manager and I let him know what you are feeling/experiencing, I believe all feedback will be reviewed over the coming week/s. 🥰

You too, lovely. @Cuddlebear

Thank you. 🥹

We do have more staff coming on board, you may have seen them pop up throughout the day! I understand there is a lot of change and there will be more information very soon - I will make sure to tag you when it's posted? 🫶

I am so sorry to hear this... that sounds very overwhelming. What kind of support would you like most exactly? I will have a look around at what's available? 🥰

@Cuddlebear @AlwaysMyself

Hey @Flutterbug9 🙂

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@Flutterbug9 wrote:

Message to Tyme and only Tyme!!

@tyme what have I done wrong?

I honestly wanted to you how your holiday was when I asked the question. Do you prefer I don’t ask these type of questions?

I asked a question about “triage” for my knowledge.

Should I not have asked?

tried to honestly answer your question about what supports look like. Don’t understand how following post by Mod is relevant.

@tyme

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Hey @Flutterbug9 , Thank you for your post. Definitely, feel free to ask! Sorry, I have not been on the forums as much and still catching up from being 5 weeks away.

You have not done anything 'wrong'. Please continue to ask any questions you feel comfortable with.

My holiday was great. We went to a few places and the culture was amazing. Needed to look past lack of hygiene etc though. The kids were great too, and they didn't get sick! Oh, one thing though, the humidity was too much. It was supposed to be winter and it was 33 degrees.

As for the triage question? Sorry, I must've missed it. Triage is the system we use to determine which posts need urgent response as opposed to other posts. All posts go through this system so moderators can respond accordingly. Hope this helps.

Thinking of you. Please reach out if you have any other quetsions.