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Why is there no support.

RammanSenior Contributor30 Nov 2025, 11:51 pm AEDT

Why is there no support.

I feel exhausted looking after my adult daughter; she is so sad, all the time. I feel there is nothing left to give her to help her feel wanted, or loved. In the last few weeks she has become super sad; nothing excites her will to do anything; nor help her self.

I know I am I have not failing her yet; but I will if I cant find more energy to keep this up. I too have my own life responsibilities; this cant keep happening; its in tolerable.

Why isn't there help for her out there; there is nothing between ED/admission and a psychologist.

So disappointed at the mental health system; she's had a case managers for 2 years. But has she gotten better -no. Has she been diagnosed with multiple conditions - yes. Is she stable without constant support - barely. Why do they just eject people with no real continuity planning. THey just hand balled her to NDIS hoping they will pick up the slack. Yet that takes time - like 4 months and counting.

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In response to: Why is there no support.

tymeModerator04 Dec 2025, 10:06 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

Ditto to you @Rana8 . I totally agree with what you have said and can absolutely relate. I was one of those people who didn't fit the mould. Who didn't go by other people's timeline. The one who struggled immensely. So people thought I was 'faulty' and 'wrong'... and so did I.

It took a long time for me to get to what I am today.

If only we embrace everyone for whatever and whoever they are.

In response to: Why is there no support.

Rana8Casual Contributor04 Dec 2025, 10:39 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

@Sugarshack I definately understand what you are saying. Particularly when substance abuse or addictions are happening. But depression is not an addiction, and there is no clear cut line between support and enabling. It actually sounded like you were blaming her for her daughters depression, which is definately not the case. Enabling is about loved ones with addictions who are not made to face the consequences of their actions. And I whole heartedly agree with you, how prevalent it is and enabling does not help anyone at all, but just keeps that circle of addiction spinning. Depression is not the same and it is not easy to treat either. Watching your 17 year old Son become depressed and suicidal is one of the cruelest things a parent can experience. And in your head you scream to yourself why? And there is so little as a parent you can do to help. And sometimes you have to call an ambulance and pray that the professionals can do something. Because by now your Son is in his 20's and you cannot force your adult child to seek help. But when they finally do, I've learnt to just encourage him to keep going to that help, and keep taking the medication. So, don't ever judge a parent for doing that. Nobody wants their child to be another suicide statistic. And the numbers are very high.

In response to: Why is there no support.

Rana8Casual Contributor04 Dec 2025, 10:42 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

@rav3n thankyou for your words 🫂

In response to: Re: Why is there no support.

tymeModerator06 Dec 2025, 5:21 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

How are you today @Rana8 ? What's been happening for you?

In response to: Re: Why is there no support.

Rana8Casual Contributor06 Dec 2025, 8:49 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

Hi @tyme. Not a bad day today. Some anxiety and self reflection this morning, but it was helpful in the end. My Son is relatively stable atm, and is even actively making achievable plans for early next year ❤️‍🩹
Thankyou for asking and checking in.

In response to: Re: Why is there no support.

AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor08 Dec 2025, 8:11 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

It's lovely to hear how much you love and support your son @Rana8 😍🥰. Reading your post above it is clear. I hope he is able to see and feel the love you obviously have for him too.

From someone who is the suicidal daughter who has had to return to living at home due to being unable to cope living independently, THANK YOU for showing similar support to your son. 🥰. Just as I am truely lucky to have my mum supporting me, so is your son with you.

In response to: Re: Why is there no support.

AppleblossomSenior Contributor16 Dec 2025, 1:24 pm AEDT

Re: Why is there no support.

@Ramman

I am grateful for you sharing some of your story and the broad range of responses. So many issues confront parents daily and long term, and when serious mental health issues arise it is extremely tricky. True love and responsibility are very individual and particular to the circumstances.

I have experienced a lot similar from the various angles.

The old saying it takes a village to raise a child holds true, and if there are not the supports in place for the gradual steps to independence at the right times then complications happen....

I have been accused of enabling, the first time by someone who wasnt honest about their own abuse and negative contributions to our family dynamic. Hmmm. Bottom line is we are usually the ones who actually care... and there are many reasons for the so-called "failure to launch".

I, personally value independence, and was forced too young to be too independent (left home at 16) and so, encourage it, and lots of developmental task setting. Yes, some sense of achievement can occur but growth and maturity and family loyalties are really more complicated than simple milestones.

There are different cultural and generational expectations.

These days with cost of living, many young people do stay at home longer.

Multi-generational households are coming back into being a norm, maybe the leaving home by 21, was just a blip in history. People shouldnt be shamed for having a supportive family.

@AlwaysMyself @Rana8 @rav3n @rav3n

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