Dear Scared01, I have been following this thread and feel I really need to let you know a few things. First, I sympathise with you and understand what you are going through. I am currently in psychoanalysis, and disclosing things from my past is really difficult. First I have to get up the courage to do it, then the actual telling always feels terrible.But talking it all through with my analyst helps me cope with trauma with the past and gives me permission to be the person I am. It really helps. One thing I must say is be careful who you disclose to. A friend or family member might not have the expetise to support you through it. I would talk to a trained professional - counsellor, psychologist, psychiatrist whatever. These people have the training to help you through the process of disclosure, and help you deal with your feelings afterwards.
\As forthe self harm, we all know it is way of expressing intense emotions and feelings which we are not dealing with. I suspect that when you have managed to disclose your past the self harm will lessen or even disappear. Whatever you do, please, please don't feel ashamed or guilty about your situation.
You have a mental issue to resolve, and that is just as painful and upsetting as a physical issue.
Do, please talk to someoe professional who can help. I have been through depression, self-disclosure and self harm, and with the help of a wonderful doctor I have managed to get through all these and live a full and challenging life. I've been there.You can do it.
Ellu
