Re: Poem

Good morning @REDLINEZ750

I don't remember minimalizing my se*ual abuse but if I did, I'm sorry. I would never mean to do it! You have every right to be hurt, upset and angry from your experiences!

There are people in the world who are pretending to be children online to catch the scum. They meet them with a video recorder and record them while they ring the police with all the information. I used to support them in England but had to stop as it was affecting my mental health. They do a good job! Yes, 'scum' is everywhere and are protected. They will be held accountable one day!

Ooh. I wonder what news you have for me! 💛

@REDLINEZ750 Did I do something wrong by saying what I noticed in a photo? I think so. The photo where I saw a few tats on a lower arm was of Pooky close to you. You described your hair. I don't think we're doing anything wrong @rav3n I wouldn't know Redline if I fell over him! We're trying to do the right thing!

I have a few tatts as well. One says, 'one day at a time' and the other says 'freedom'. I was in a rehab when I had the tattoos done. I got the word 'free' done but the next morning I woke up and thought, I don't feel f****** free today so got the 'dom' put on the end. 😆

morning my friend @heartathome

its good you didnt minimilise its just my overeacting or not reacting properly to your caring comment along with @Bunniekins gosh i hope i in turn havent offended its me saying dont worry ive grown up with it same as you both and i know this part is hypocritical in a sense but its worse for girls i think so i didnt know how to take your compassion proper sorry i apologise and hope now im fresh awake i made more sense. morning my bun friend @Bunniekins

ahh yes i forget that pic i know the one, i dont think we done anything wrong either heartathome @rav3n would of let us know i only mentioned it to get ahead of any misunderstang that may of been seen.

shit i start with two apologies to people i respect and care about and then this next paragraph, wow kinda feel like i suck 🤔

ok what i learned this morning is they have shut all doors on the Pooky being with me

what i learned yesterday is no phone for first 10 days, policy i will check the boundrys for flex in person as its a better fight than on phone and dont want to miss the opportunity like i did b y not just rocking up with Pooks.

need go make a coffee and breakfast i be 20min

@heartathome @REDLINEZ750 neither have you have done anything wrong!

i was just asking about the images used in the poem - which @REDLINEZ750 has clarified and said it's no one identifiable 😊

and thanks for letting me know that it was @heartathome's poem - it's written so well ✨

aww Pooky! @heartathome @REDLINEZ750 hope your all having a nice Tuesday so far! 💙

You have nothing to apologize for @REDLINEZ750 I have not been offended to anything you've said!

Sounds like a good place. Try and do what they say. I'll be here for you when the 10 days is up!

Your photos haven't come up yet, but I'll check later.

How are you feeling at the moment? 💛

Thanks @rav3n

Why do I always think I'm in trouble when a peer worker shows up? Past experiences of people in authority. Thanks for not berating us. I know you wouldn't, but my head says otherwise.

Authority makes me immediately go on edge. My first thought is, what have I done wrong? I guess that was the majority of feedback I got as a child. I've never seen anyone abuse their power on here.

I hope one day I will get to trust authority again. I trust my psych which is a great start! I've only been seeing him for twenty-six years! There is still hope! 😆💛

@REDLINEZ750

Oh the trouble that sth park fella is about to have with me! @heartathome 😁

I'm dazed honestly I've been physically stationary mentally frantic it's not a good combination it's harrowing feeling heart and throat like that when I try move.

I needed to make a phone call organize transport since 10am so I will do that now and huge physical discomfort just texting that but I need to do it or I will then rumenate on not doing it and get a voice beating me up for knowing I had to do it and leaving it to late and it's my fault I can't go and I fucked everything up again and all I had to do was ring one person who's only treated me as trauma informed people do yet if it was a text saying saying your weak as piss can't even make a phone call I'd be on the person's face quicker than I knew I left the house aaaarrrrgghhhh

I'm ok I'm safe just scared a little lost I think

@REDLINEZ750 you are such a kind person Red no apologies needed. just take good care of yourself hun. love bun xx

Oh @REDLINEZ750 I'm here! Did you manage to make the phone call? It's not the end of the world if you haven't! You've got huge things going on at the moment. Going into 'the clinic' is huge scary in itself! You have to leave your little lion (for a little while) and the place you feel safe in. I understand that you're scared and lost! It is a scary journey! I know you can do it! One day at a time. One moment at a time! What can you do to ground yourself atm? In a 'clinic' up here, they don't allow phones at all. It's pretty usual. Pooky will be fine, and you've got God walking with you! Don't forget that. I'm not going anywhere as well. So far you have called yourself some nasty names such as weak as piss and I disagree. I won't be disappointed in you if you didn't make the call. I know how hard it was for me! Try and trust the process. It's not a sprint. It's a lifelong journey of changes and emotional growth! I'm sitting with you, Redline! 💛

@REDLINEZ750 hearing how that call is quite overwhelming to initiate - i do hope it went okay? hopefully you got a chance to do some self-care after too 💗

@heartathome i can see where you're coming from, and i'm sorry to hear that your past experiences with authority weren't great. i'm not great with authority either, my heart tends to drop when i get called out on even tiny mistakes, but we're both getting there!

i do also want to assure you that when us mods reach out about edits/guidelines, we're not judging you and we're never upset/angry. if there's any issues, we will reach out and not leave you guessing - but even then, we're coming from a place of guidance and support 💗