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Not doing too well at current @Chasingsunsets .

Egh, poor timing for 403 errors to start also.

Sitting with you my friend 💜 let me know how I can help 🙏

Thank you @Chasingsunsets @. I wish i knew what would help. I'm just out of hope. I don't expect to ever not have depression, fatigue and physical pain. I think "recovery" for me will only mean being able to manage it in order to cope with life without distress. And in theory that's OK, but its expensive to access healthcare and home-supports that would make this possible - even whilst I have an average income currently and living at a discounted rent with family. Just my supports and health each week cost more than half my weeks earnings currently. And i am soon to take (paid) sick leave because i'm not coping. But if i cant return to work, or need reduced hours further, i can't afford supports

Thanks for tagging me for a chat @AlwaysMyself I really honestly value our chats and I see you always around the forum offering so much support and wisdom to many forum members I am glad I can give you some support when you need it most 🙏

Out of hope hey, I will hold onto it with you 💜, you can get through this my friend.
Management does sound ok right? I feel that’s all I am going to achieve personally, I am not sure I’ll ever get better however if we can manage it then hopefully we can do ok?

In terms of our MH, would you say yours are Ebs and flows?

I hear you re how expensive healthcare is I really do. Ideally what do you feel like you need and not getting right now in regards to healthcare?

I see you have a lot of finance stress at the moment and it’s really not a good time being December this is occurring either. I am sorry you are having to take some sick leave as you feel you aren’t coping. Do you feel by taking the sick leave it will give you some time to recharge those batteries? I sometimes have to ‘call it’ and take sick days when things are getting a bit much, it usually helps just to recharge the batteries.

Do you think it’s the particular month as well I find December tricky everyone’s emotions are everywhere and there is lots to do and pressure of Christmas and just a lot. A very manic month 😜. I am wondering if you are feeling the same?

Hi @AlwaysMyself I am sorry you are feeling this way. I have to say, I think I can empathise pretty much at the moment.

Yes, I think recovery does not necessarily mean absence of all symptoms. It can mean many different things, but overall that pain is manageable whether that be physical or psychological pain. I think everyone hopes there will magically be a time when everything is free, but that is extremely unlikely to happen.

I also agree with the financial cost aspect, fortunately on 1st January you will be eligible for rebatable sessions for both mental health and chronic disease again. I think it’s maximum 10 sessions under both plans. I know it’s hardly anything in the scheme of things but it is a bit of financial relief. I think, especially for MH it is manifestly inadequate.
The decrease in your income would be stressful. I know when I recently retired I kept track of literally every cent I spent, because I retired before the age pension age threshold and therefore only had myself to rely on.

I hope you can get your support plan sorted out

Thanks @Chasingsunsets i appreciate it a lot.

Currently i pay for counselling, chiro, massage (for muscle pain management), cleaning, and dog walking. I usually am too tired to cook (a healthy meal), but have found vcld bars a good option because they're nutritional, bland flavour, and no prep/cook/heating required (and cost abput $4/ea, which i guess is OK for a meal substitute). Its probable that physio would help my muscle and joint pain too, but i cant afford more services. I wish i had support at home for doing things like laundry, general tidying, unpacking boxes (since moving earlier in the year i havent been able to do much more than essentials), and motivational/social support for the never ending list of things i need to do (paying bills, errands, etc).

I hope the time off work will help my chronic fatigue ease a little, as i am so burntout. Its been building up especially over the past 2 years. I really need to be able to experience some form of positive feeling/enjoyment or feel some sense of purpose or desire for life. I am hoping time off work will give me the energy to be able to be non-fatigued enough to be able to do things and see if i can feel something. I have no memory of feeling happy or genuinely enjoying things (not even on my holiday).

But if i manage to achieve this whilst not working... if i start working again i will become fatigued again and not cope. And if i dont work, i cant afford the supports that help me cope with basic daily life.

Thanks @Till23 . Chronic disease plan is 5 sessions, and i guess i could use it for chiro or physio perhaps as part of pain management, but they arent bulkbilled. Ive used it before for exercise physiology which bulkbilled but i didnt fond it helpful as i already knew the strengthening exercises from when i worked at a physio clinic. I did see a dietician under it one year too, which i guess was good for motivation on healthy eating for insulin-resistence and obesity.

My counsellor isnt registered/accredited with medicare. But she costs less because of that, so the amount i pay her is similar (or less) than the out-of-pocket gap fees for someone who is rebatable. I dont like telehealth for counselling, and there is no one in my location who does f2f bulkbilling. I see her weekly, so in the scheme of things its much cheaper than 10 rebated and 40 fullcost sessions with a registered psych. She was recommended as an experienced counsellor from a local crisis support service earlier this year.

Hey @Till23 so lovely to see you here! Your words to @AlwaysMyself you hit the nail on the head 🙏.

How are you my friend?

I have been thinking of you recently and today while I was in Kmart I saw a table tennis pack of ball set of 6 all in different colours!! I loved that and thought till may like this! Hehe. I also found pickle ball racquets!! So yes thought of you with those two things I came across 😊

@AlwaysMyself I was going to mention those extra 5 sessions but seen you know about them and have mentioned that to @Till23. I see there is a lot on for you at the moment. Does you GP have any ideas?

I am surprised to hear your holiday didn’t bring you any joy. Were there any little moments that brought you joy?

Are there few things you like doing that gives you a glimmer of joy that you can feel in your body?

It sounds like this sick leave is coming at a good time for you my friend, how long do you have off and do you have any plans for the time off?

Is work going ok for you?

It sounds like you have a really good counsellor I wonder what she thinks about all you are going through at the moment?

I have work soon so better get some rest, thanks so much for the tag, again it means a lot. I hope that you can get some rest as-well 🙏. What’s on for you tomorrow?

I hope I will have some better responses as well tomorrow I’m gassed but wanted to stay up to have a chat with you.
Take care my friend 💜

@Chasingsunsets

My GP is not exactly proactive (i am considering changing GP, but with work sick leave certificates needed i feel its a bad time to change gps). I have always had to come up with my own ideas and ask him for referrals, but he has been willing to do them and thinks theyre good ideas. His only knowledge of mental health supports seems to be the MHCP and medication. He has agreed to give me a month leave and then review it to see if to extend it or not. But i dont feel he really understands whats going on, even though ive been honest with him about my thoughts re SI. Sometimes he can be quite dismissive.

Unfortunately my holiday did not bring me any pleasure. It was "interesting" at times but that is the closest i got. I checked-in with myself a number of times to ask myself if I felt the holiday was "worth living for" but every time I asked myself that the answer was no.

I dont ever recall experiencing joy. Im sure i did as a young child of primary school age or younger, but i cant recall those years. But since pre-teen age i have not experienced it.

Work itself has been OK the past few months, in my temporary role that i transferred to (because of workplace stress exacerbating my MH to crisis levels). But i had to turn down a 3 month extension of that role because I need to take the sick leave. So on paper i am returning to my "normal" role in the stressful team, and if/when im deemd fit to work again i will face that issue with HR. HR have been aware for 2 years that I was not coping with MH due to workplace issues triggering crisis-level occassions.