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@REDLINEZ750 I would come across as confident and assertive but inside is a scared little kitten (who can turn into a lioness, if need be). I'm still pretty straight to the point but not angry like I used to be. I was also rebellious and went in a totally opposite direction which took me to some very dark places. Thankfully, my psych has been there for me for over 20 years. I've learnt a lot and am grateful for his support, but you're right. Knowing and putting it into practice are two different things. I do give myself a talking to when I catch myself thinking negative thoughts about myself. You can imagine. Does that make any sense? I've taken my meds so I could go down any time from now! 😄🙃

@REDLINEZ750 I'm so glad you've started writing poetry again! Shout it from the mountain top! People can be so cruel. I was an angry loner at school. I hated school. I got expelled in the beginning of year 10, which I thought was great. Mum not so much! It only took me a week to find a job back then. The church lady seemed nice enough. I don't really know her very well which is why I was nervous. I suppose I should have bought a cake or something for afternoon tea, 😄 now that I'm thinking about it. Oh well, maybe next time 😁 🙃

@heartathome makes perfect sense , hope your relaxed and get a good sleep

night!

@Till23 Rest and recover! I can relate to feeling not good enough! Childhood trauma has affected my mental health. I have Bipolar which is stable. My CPTSD and anxiety affect me the most. I try to confront my negative thoughts when they come up and treat myself with respect. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. My family went to Glen Innis from Coonamble, Sydney and finally the Central Coast where my parents passed. The whole family went their separate ways throughout the years. Yeah. The floods were something else. I'm okay now but really miss my son and friends! I still struggle but try to be grateful for what I have. I'm okay and I'm safe! 🙃

@heartathome I too have family background from Coonamble lol (not myself, relatives). For a small town it certainly punches above its weight in conversational mentions lol. However, Armidale beats it -- so often people know people in Armidale, it's like everyone is a few degrees of connection away from Armidale 🤣.

I'm glad you are more able to be your full self @REDLINEZ750 and that includes enjoying and expressing poetry. 😊

How is everyone today?

I've had a very stressful day, but I think I have coped with it well. I was productive about how to approach frustrations, seeking help where I need to for advice, did all the mandatory pet-care I needed to, responded to all the emails/SMS/etc that I needed to, ate a little dinner, and prepared the house to be safe for animals whilst I am not home tomorrow.

I can tell my body is very stressed though, not just because of how my mind feels but also physically because of a reflux pain even though I have hardly eaten anything today and nothing that would cause it to flare up.

On one hand I feel I should self-soothe to wind down my stressful feelings, but on the other hand I don't want to because I am stressed also by feeling alone. What a fun contradictory feeling.

Hi @heartathome I did try and get a good rest overnight and stayed in bed very late for me. I tried not to feel guilty about it, because I had a "proper" reason for not doing stuff. I hopefully have got a bit better, not as much as I would have liked, but still.

I also have a background of childhood trauma and have cPTSD, anxiety and depression.

I am glad you are able to recognise and challenge your negative thoughts. I am just learning this, because previously I thought my negative thoughts were actually the real situation (I still struggle with this though).

You have moved around a bit then. Colder in Glen Innes, than where you are. Central Coast a bit busier than Coonamble, especially these days - I found it quite hectic there.

I'm sorry to hear you are missing your son and friends, which is completely understandable. I only moved to where I am in my late 50s, to be closer to my Dad, and I know it's hard to make friends when you are older. I have acquaintances here, but I drove myself to all my cancer appointments, because I didn't think I knew anyone well enough to ask.

I also try to feel grateful, I do have many things to be grateful for, sometimes my mind focuses on the negative aspects though

Good morning @Till23 Yes. I remember saying everything I thought until my psych told me that I didn't have to. :face_with_rolling_eyes: My negative thinking was running the show. I was wrong! I still struggle with this as well. I think it will be a lifetime project! It's such a shame you didn't feel you know your acquaintances well enough to ask them to take you to your cancer appointments. It must have been hard to go through that alone. I hope your day is okay! 🤗🙃

Good morning @AlwaysMyself @REDLINEZ750 @Jynx @RebelliousAngel @Shaz51 @avant-garde @DownMoreThanUp @Appleblossom and everyone else on here! 🙃

Good morning @heartathome 🩵

@RebelliousAngel It's good to 'see' you! 💚🙃 I hope you have a better day today.

Thanks @heartathome, I hope you have a lovely day 🩵