Feeling stressed about starting a new job.

i got to walk in blind, i need that uncertainty and pressure only prep is the tools and a dummy run to know the roads if i don't know the area,.walk in and do it, nothing bout cocky or over confidence its my wiring, soon as if i plan i see weak points worrying about being late coz plan goes wrong i wont sleep from ruminating and i don't turn up late i go home if more than 10,min late/. done hypervigilant just honing in wanting to be ready to the point i will lose more time getting ahead of what may go wrong than what it take me to sort it out if it did, troubleshooting fast pace it will hold type scenario thats me and i work best alone, i see people have the whole 30 min for lunch i just cant ill eat drink and go and not just coz some siren says to, the concept of im not hungry now is lost on so many people and bosses turn it into ego only once did i get a guy demand i do what im told he trying tell me its not lunch time i just trying eat b e & c roll i remember i was enjoying it wondering idf has ever Gunna shut up and dead set asked me what im going do about it. im pretty sure through his lens i apologise polish his shoes and run my lens wasn't smartass just told him im going to finish my roll get tools put them in ute and you can stick your job and attitude in your

funny boss guy claims i can't do that6 flapping his arms screaming, im trying not get bbq sauce on my shirt and he sats your fired snorts triumphantly storm off, .. dickhead

. anyway if i had of known boss is a tool i would of been through so many scenarios of running into him i would of been combatant and defensive probably all day and likely not see him.

hope you sleep well and tomm orrows a morning that everything works for you so can enjoy being at work @Sugarshack

hope you no longer stressed now you done a day

Hey there @REDLINEZ750 thanks very much for your kind commenting. I am delighted to report the first day was great. Its not easy and I have to work hard to stay focused, and stop the fears of past bad experiences rise up in my mind - I have been put in a few crazy situations in a day of "work" but my boss/es are very inspiring people and I really want to have a good go at this job, and to commit to it properly forces my hand to polish up a few sloppy habits, so it's confronting but, I want to grow out of those sloppy habits not keep them for life.

I hope you too have had a nice day and seen some clarity after what was a tough weekend for you, and thanks for 'being there' for me online it's a nice feeling to know that people show up for the good times even strangers online can be warmer than family. Thereby we do what we can, with what we have, and whoever is there to celebrate, and hope that other people turn their minds around to that concept or......any of us can only keep on keeping on and try to find something to laugh or smile about. Have a bloody good one....!

thats good to hear @Sugarshack

Very happy for you!

The sloppy habits your changing sound like your doing for yourself so good luck 😊

always happy to catch up, enjoy the more trying moments too!

WOW.. AWESOME YOU...LOOK AT YOU GO!

hope enjoying weekend @Sugarshack

@REDLINEZ750 the weekend was TERRIFIC! 1600kms covered over three beautiful days.

Monday morning had its problems...one being my boss rattles off 25 jobs in an Irish accent then expects me to remember every single task. Another, I need to really do myself, and embed any processes before I remember them . He shows me a task in 6 seconds then gets impatient because I didn't remember. I am learning now, to find the line and to remain calm under pressure. He is not an unreasonable man, he is under a lot of pressure himself and I am certain that paying my wage brings additional pressure on him. So I spent the evening watching videos for my machines so I can be on fire tomorrow, and where I acted weak today I will be strong tomorrow so he knows I have a spirit that is stronger than my moments of weakness.

Over the weekend I saw an old friend of mine. He seems to be in a bad way, he has been in trouble with the law and might have run into some troublesome habits, his teeth are all falling out. I know he had a lot of trouble with his parents and upbringing, and he seems filled with anger and darkness.

Then, I met several strangers who were healthy minded, and uplifting. I felt relatively so sad for my mate but I could see he has done no internal thinking nor growth, and he blames the world outside and seems to think that getting a partner is all he needs to survive/be happy/hold down a job.

I said to my mate, I wanted to be his friend and stay in touch to care about him as I think we both know it's the gentle and nice relationships which keep us all going through the harder times. He has ignored all of my calls and I feel that self destruction might be his weapon of choice.

Is it my problem? No. Can I do anything about it? No. Can I reflect to the times we shared together and think...wow, my journey has been unexpected and hard work but.....I have built a life for myself that includes good things. I can't save anyone from themselves but I can recognise what I have done, and the power of doing so, and I can hear that mate out and see if he wants to get to the other side of the darkness, but I think he doesn't want to.

And that reminds me of a time in life when I avoided responsibility.

I have taken responsibility to form a good relationship now, with one member of my family and understand some of the reasons behind family estrangement which plagues my life, as a rejected child / person who challenged my mother's unreasonable and self serving behaviour.

And I take responsibility to study for what I need at work and try hard to keep up with my boss, not take his "crankiness" personally. My next challenge will be to remain self powered and not become swallowed up by the company dramas. But also, to put in a bit of extra effort to help the place out and do a few little improvements here and there not to desperately prove my worth, but to make it more comfortable for everyone.

I hope you had a lovely weekend yourself, and that things are a bit smoother/clearer/better than last weekend. I know one thing, I always thought older people were floating around with all the answers figured out but now I know they/I definitely aren't. So I try to be a bit more compassionate these days, and more helpful to others. The nectar of life is most definitely human kindness and that's where I know why my old grandparents were always dropping off fruits to each other, simply to say Gday and thats the type of person I want to be as I travel along the road of life. Not sitting on my phone, being shut off and numbed to reality as I used to waste a lot of time doing that.

thats some serious time on road for sure @Sugarshack! love running up highways myself always have just these LED lights remind me the eyes arent what used to be but aint stopping me yet...

its hard when you see the way certain coping methods change some people and your right about nothing you can do if they are convinced thier decisions are someone elses fault or the world owes them.

trying just exposes you to the anger & bitterness you wouldnt otherwise be putting your own emotional wellbeing at risk.

it can be very hard to disengage once commited especially if its mistaken for responsibility.

I think its not fair on you to feel not knowing how to run a machine for first time confidentkly with shithouse instructions and an already flooded mind weakness, its not at all a fail or flaw you are a good employee to spend your own time training up and the stress of paying wages is not your problem and would of been well calculated and seen as necessary before they advertised id say.

nor should you let bosses bad day or stresses be projected onto you which sounds like is happening if your consciously aware of need to stay calm when he speaking to you.

sounds like you know this anyway by saying your not going get swallowed up in company dramas.

i know in life we learn individual coping mechanisms if learnt very young not to get close enough to anyone in the first place to have thier opinion matter, if im not interested in being in thier circle they cant reject me from it. family arent excluded,

its good you have worked on staying in touch with a family member if yhats what you need and its not going to expose you to other family that may wiegh you down again. it takes maturity to do.

you will figure out in a few more moons that older people have answers to life that are no longer problems of newer generations.

examplte kids are once solved by hose and sprinkler or tarp and detergent gets you looked at like you know nothing because it now requires car trips crowds stress sand or admission fees if you know what your doing 😁

thanks for tag, hope tomorrows a good day and if your extra knowledge on machine operation isnt noticed be proud of youself for doing it.

if boss cranky for bad day yeah i spose ok

if boss cranky because disrespect and demoralising you have nore of a responsibility to your well being than any company or person you work with.

other way of seeing his short instructions is he sees potential in you and thats his way of measuring it,

you do sound like a very responsible person with strong focus

Gday @REDLINEZ750 thanks for the detailed response, it has been a busy week but I can make sense of a lot of what you are saying., especially "the old way" vs "the new way" in regards to playing with the hose vs going out to the expensive place....I work hard for my money and a hose doubles for use in watering the garden. If its any consolation I am in my 40s and most of my good friends are in their 60s as we have quite similar values.

The way I see it, the old way gave straight up results but the new way sends people around on a fairly expensive and pointless game of Snakes and Ladders but it seems they want to step on the Snakes, oftentimes. I have given up trying to talk sense to most people, and it find it wierd they never ask how or why but they certainly will sit around complaining, judging, being jealous etc.

If you have the energy please expand on the LED lights in your eyes thing? I find them fairly blinding myself to the point I am now wearing sunglasses to the local shops because every sign, shop, feature is studded with LEDs and my eyes close up or I get a headache if I am around them too long.

So I feel I am getting further pushed out of society cause I can't $#@%^ see what they're trying to light up!!

Re coping mechanisms yes those people can have their mechanisms and disractions, and I see where they're at because I used to be there myself, just looking at a "fidget spinner" for a general term, my head down a hole because if you stay down the hole you don't have to solve any problems....!!

My mum is still, has always been like that and I never see her changing, but I do see her missing out on a lot of life due to being stuck with her head under the rug where she has swept any problems, never grown, never developed better ways of being that expand her horizons and bring her what she claims to want.

So what do "we" do? Try to talk sense to those people but, to keep on keeping on in life.

Once upon a time social connections were valued and prized - my values are still like that but people can whistle dixie if they think that I will bend over to cater to their abuses and delusions........!!

I have learnt a few things about my boss, largely that he has all the information in his head and it's my job to catch it as the information falls out. Learning new people, and how to deal with them - I can blame and put it all on him or I can open my mind to think about what's really going on.

After first week I have had great feedback and where I made a few mistakes and panicked, got insecure I realised every day is an opportunity to display a strength, and if I make mistakes OK I just have to fix them.

So "old me" would have blown off the weekend and forgot about work, leave it for Monday. "New me" spent the weekend doing what I have to do, also going all over the processes - sneaking back to check something first thing Saturday, thinking on Sunday how to approach the week and get off to a flying start for tomorrow, Monday.

I know I can't keep up this energy forever, but I also know that I can make a bit of hay in the early days to establish myself as a dedicated person who didn't leave anything for the boss to finish off or complain about - thats why I went in Saturday.

So thanks for picking up and including some positive comments in your reply, I have taken it to heart and I can see that my natural sensitivity to emotions and tones, my history with angry bosses and my submission to angry people is colouring my perception of the first week. The boss isn't ANGRY so much as in a hurry, overloaded and I am AFRAID he is angry and I am PROJECTING that he's angry at me. Parent issues coming up in the workplace.

Ah well I have invested in some premium aussie made rust converter and will spend the next couple weeks learning how to strip off rust, prime and repaint things. I reckon the boss wants our fleet looking picture perfect by Christmas and I am taking that on as a goal.

And the energy from working hard has translated into home where I cleaned up a few longstanding messes here.

I hope you had a decent, if not terrific weekend. You seem like a level headed person, sensible and experienced in life with solid ideas about what truly matters, and how to get there. I wish you well thanks for your message and I'll see ya on here again I am sure.