Feeling stressed about starting a new job.

Hey @Sugarshack it sounds like there's a lot of pressure on starting this job and being the "perfect" employee. What do you think the perfect employee would be like?

I'm hearing that you're very aware of where this anxiety is coming from and are proactively working to manage it, affirming to yourself that you are good at going to work, and working on staying calm and falling into patterns that have been harmful in the past. This sort of self-awareness isn't easy for a lot of people and reflects some real effort on your part to get there.

Is there anything that the community could do to help you in the lead up to your first day?

Thankyou for seeing me @Ru-bee .

The community can do what they can, I believe that most contributions are valid and people all want to contribute in their own way.

For me, the perfect employee is one who is NOT shaking all over their body from adrenaline and anxiety who will then make mistakes from being hostage to adrenaline.

So, I have to be very careful to stay calm and avoid #triggering before I start the job.

I have to remember to "be mature" because when I get too excited I do childish things.

I have to remember that my boss/es each have their own values lives, and stresses so I have to learn the new management style and stay open to their emotions, opinions and requests in the training process.

I have to remember that learning a new job is a difficult process and that it takes about three months to settle in.

And I have to remember that I am a very experienced and valuable employee, that my struggles in some workplaces have been from being overexperienced NOT from being incompetent. So where I got to the top of one industry, it has helped me start again at the bottom of a related industry.

I also have to remember, that I am not "there for the money", my job is more than a paycheque.

I EARN my paycheque by delivering results to the Company. That my job is always to deliver results, not to take money for showing up because in the past I have been lazy and also I have been held back by other workers who give me bad jobs because they are threatened. Now, I am my own supervisor so I have to deliver my own results for the new company and there is no one holding me back so I do not have to walk on eggshells around insecure egos.

I have to walk on eggshells around my own bad habits which are swearing and cursing, not listening to people for long enough to get 100% of information, and feeling limited by past circumstances, and identifying as an outlaw.

My new identity which I have had for 15 years is I am a law abiding citizen who had a difficult family when I grew up and I am proud of my work skills and I give a lot to my job, but I am also a reasonable and balanced person with hobbies and friends outside of having a job, and my hobbies and friends support my life and my job also supports my life, and I am a decent person who is trusted by others, and I am reliable and I see things through to the end.

@Sugarshack you have an air of confidance and you should be akllowed to be a little choldish if thats who you are its who they hired, i done manual labour over 30 years and not much i cant get my head around confidently and i still have the samr nerves turning up first time ion new site.

i truly wish you all the best and hope you remember to just breath

congrats!

Thanks a lot Redline, I even submitted a childish/informal/upfront job application because I am a straight shooter with a somewhat unconventional approach to life. So I wanted the application to scare them off, then I got the job. The people who got me into the industry were similar so I hope my new bosses can really see that I will give them 98% of my best abilities if they let me have my head and my sense of humour. That's all I need to get through a day, just to have a laugh and take what I need in order to bring back some good results for them.

So likewise I hope your current job lets you do what you need to do because you seem an interesting character yourself, of the oldschool way, and it can be seen as a prickly way to be in LithiumLand of Social Media Society but personally I love and respect tough people where u know where to stand and can say anything that needs to be said, it's the old ANZAC spirit....be good or be good at it and dont hesitate to knock on a person who wants to muck things up.

Well sadly theres a lot of people who want to enjoy mucking things up these days but part of why I have changed industry is to be around people with their feet on the ground and with a good quality backbone installed and used 🙂

@Sugarshack

Congratulations on the new job!

I am on the short list for two jobs myself and and somehow I am already stressing myself out before I've even gotten the job.

My advice to you would be, be true to yourself, positive thoughts and self-affirmation and know that all of us members on the forums are right behind you and wish you all the success in the world.

You sound way more confident and assertive than stressed.

Take it as a compliment. I'm sure you will ace your first day!

Congratulations on the job switch!

(You don't want to hear my job-related story because it is distressing)

hey @Sugarshack whats today look like for you? you packing lunch or buying tomorrow?

Good morning mate @REDLINEZ750 , you know how it is and I am off to the shops to procure some site essentials such as red bull and a few snacks, and I am feeding myself today knowing that I "stress and starve" and then collapse in an exhausted heap at work, which is less than ideal as I have found before.

And I am looking back at last season of work where I pushed my boundaries which led to this job, and I had a similar level of stress and far more risk but I did some great work and was very proud of what I achieved.

Additionally today there are a few interpersonal things to deal with, so it is an additional tightrope for me to walk to deal with other people's headspace and whats inside it, but I am staying cool and calm as priority and I also know, that I have lived through so many storms before so I keep envisioning myself with the excitement of living through a storm, as opposed to the fear of waiting for one to happen.

In the forecast of my little pearl trawler that is my life, there is monsoons ahead for one month so I will tighten up all my ropes, tar all the corners, and bloody grip onto my compass and trawl net because if I can navigate this season reasonably well, Summer will be well under control and progress will be made.

And I hope your day ahead is also looking decent or manageable, and if its not feel free to hijack/share this thread with concepts of holding fast through complexities, as a wise man I once knew had a wonderful saying, "hold fast to all that is good", and I use it and believe in it to this day.

Have a good one!

Hello @FearofUnknown thankyou for your well wishes. I would encourage you, to talk about your own job experience under your own thread, or to try to disentangle what is going on there.

Because, I have found in Trauma Recovery that having a job is very important to me, when I have too much time on my hands, like a bored dog I dig up every problem and chew the walls down and howl all day long because I feel like I am left alone with all the skeletons in my closet. That is my direct personal experience, others can and will be very different, and working is a privelege to some degree so there's nothing against anyone who is unable to work.

But for my life it has been very freeing to have various jobs because I feel as though I am a useful part of society and I get social contact, and something to focus on outside of myself and my problems.

Part of my fear of getting any new job is the moment when the bosses and other workers realise I am an DIFFERENT TYPE OF PERSON to many but also, people at work can become friends and allies in life when I behave decently towards them. Coming from an abusive family I did not learn many nice social skills but I have learned a lot from people at work so I have been sacked, and quit, hundreds of times and wore the shame of being a ratbag. But overcoming my weaknesses to become a good worker has changed my life in ways that I would not go backwards from here.

So dont give up, keep trying to get what you want 🙂

@BipolarRich congratulations also on your job shortlistings, and don't let the self sabotage trap eat you before you get there. Have you got a friend or counsellor to talk to, are you engaged in a telephone service? Last night I had a good chat with my friend about everything going on and she has a very powerful mind, she could pinpoint this situation for me:

Because I am afraid of things going wrong, I am projecting "things going wrong" which is FEAR coming up in my body trying to sabotage my situation.

It is fine and normal to FEAR a new situation.

But I KNOW from prior experience, that I am capable, qualified and committed to getting my job right.

I do not want to be cocky and fail to learn from overconfidence.

I desire to approach the Training period with cool, calm and collected confidence to set myself up to make good on an opportunity, that also might be horrible and I might need to stop doing it, if it is horrible or outside of what I agreed to do.

But, after many years of working and several years of upskilling, I have put myself into a new position and can take advantage of the work I have invested.

Because I have done similar things before, because I am well trained, because I am a responsible person, there is every likelihood things will be ok, except if I let fear sabotage me before I even start.

Those words are a summary of what my friend said, and my own thoughts about how to stay outside of panic/fear/stress before and while I start the job.

So I encourage you to find a strategy, or you can have my strategy, and believe in yourself, and hope that change comes 🙂