Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

I hope dinner helps @creative_writer yeah, it can be hard when the alternatives don't completely erase the impulse, but maybe even if it can reduce it a bit it helps to make it all a bit more manageable in the moment

I hear you and I think it's really smart to look for one that feels right for you. I always suggest 'matching sessions' as an option too. @creative_writer 🥰

I am glad you're listening in to your body and what feels right/when you may need more support - seeing your psychiatrist will be very helpful, I am sure. I wonder if they know any EMDR therapists?

Oh, that's incredible!! Yay! What are your studies focusing on first? It's nice to know we are both on our mental health studying journey at the same time. 💪 There's always more to learn, isn't there?

I am glad you were able to move your body - how did you feel afterwards?

And I can hear that things are feeling big for you tonight... can we work on a safer way to release what you're feeling? 💛

@AuntGlow some psychs offer a few minute calls or at least willing to give you more information about their practice through email. I just don’t want to go through a full session and realise I don’t have the right therapist.

I could also talk to my psychiatrist about whether he knows someone suitable.

I’ve been focusing on developing those counselling skills. In my previous studies I actually didn’t get much chance to develop my counselling. We only had one counselling unit and I feel placement was limited. I didn’t have many clients on placement.

Having daily workouts helps. It releases nervous energy. It’s not always full on gym workouts, I schedule some walks in between. I still need to be mindful of the amount of physical activity I do with an ED. I follow a structure because I’m more likely to stick in the healthy range.

TW: Mentions of SH

I hear you and I think it's okay to ask for as much information as possible and let them know that you're wanting to find someone you can invest in for the long-haul. @creative_writer 🫶

Developing your counselling skills sounds so rewarding! Will you get client-facing placement this time around?

I feel the same about working out. I have bought a walking pad for when I am working and it's helpful for gentle but consistent movement. Structure with movement is also very helpful, yes! It's great that you know what is working for you - that's a big win in my books.

Thank you for letting me know. Things must feel like so much for you right now... how can we work on getting to bed safely tonight? 💛

Hi @creative_writer , sorry just catching up now. Sounds like a really really intense day for you today 😭. Sending ypu caring hugs 🤗. I hope you have been able to get some sleep currently, and maybe a "reset" upon waking tomorrow.

I'm glad you have an appointment with your pdoc this week. Of course there is no requirement to tell them about how today was, but i wonder if it might be helpful to?

The pdoc may not be "happy" but that could be because they care for you and would ideally like for you not to have those distressing feelings and thoughts at all. I would hope your pdoc would understand that you tried really hard to resist it for hours, you reached out to a number of places for support (including SCBS and here) -- it certainly wasnt your first resort.

I'm pretty sure my counsellor isnt "happy" that i have my more challenging thought days, but I think she would prefer to know and talk to me about them than for me to not tell her. 😊.

Tomorrow is a new day. A fresh start. 🤗

Hi @creative_writer , how did today go for you?

PS - survival is the top priority!

"Laptop elevator"

🤣🤣Ok OK so I read these two words and... well ... my brain didn't yet have context, so I literally pictured a laptop in an elevator (or an elevator-lift specifically for a laptop) and was really confused until i read the rest of the sentence. 🤣

Yep, good one brain! Gave me a laugh when I realised.

( @AuntGlow may get a laugh from that too)

Well done @creative_writer 😊. I also love your awareness that this afternoon's coursework may be challenging and triggering for you, and to take it gentle and extra self-attention/care.

Do you like to plan what to do to wind-down and give yourself that extra attention ahead of time?

Or do you prefer to not have an idea ahead of time, and just pick what you feel like at the time?

I have a complicated relationship with movement/exercise 😅. I need some movement to prevent muscles and joint pain, but I am very limited in what I can do without feeling exhausted (chronic fatigue) or muscle/join pain from other health aspects. Oh to be in a weightless world where there was no joint/weight pressure whilst sitting or standing/walking! 😅 (still wouldn't cure the chronic fatigue.. but it would reduce some pain barriers lol. Otherwise I'm stuck with pool-based exercise and it is mentally/emotionally taxing as well as the effort of driving and wet clothes and getting changed in/out of swimmers.... oh i don't like swimming pools hahaha but they are the only physically-non-painful exercise).

However unfortunately movement/exercise never seemed to give any mental benefit to my mood - except when I had panic attacks I did notice it was very good for reducing the anxiety to go for a short walk in the flat park! (I only had anxiety for less than 2 months due to an adverse reaction, it is not usually part of my health issues)