Mixed feelings-might be getting another diagnosis (ED)

It is a really tough time of the year, isn't it? @creative_writer

I can hear you have a plan to see your psychologist and that you know helplines are there. Of course, you are always welcome here too. What else do you think you could add to your support toolkit?

I understand what you mean. Hmm, I am wondering if there are any other family members or friends who can hold an encouaging, regulated space for you to explore this idea?

You haven't failed at all. I think it's really human to go back to what is familiar many times throughout recovery - changing patterns of behaviour is really hard!! I think, if we give compassion a little more nourishing over shame, it can help most in these moments. I wonder if you can offer yourself this space tonight? For example, "maybe I need to place the pressure off myself for not being perfect." This would be such a wonderful way to be compassionate towards yourself.

Have you tried prayer and breathwork? 🫶

I am curious - did you ever explore any support groups? And have you been able to revisit any of your writing groups? @creative_writer 🥰

I would encourage you to talk to this friend, if you can - I'd be interested to hear how the conversation goes and if it's helpful (if you feel okay sharing, of course).

It would feel really hard drifting away from old friends... I have been there. Would you ever reach out to reconnect?

What has helped you shift out of these bouts of SH and SI before?

I know that unshackling ourselves from shame is so incredibly hard and it takes time... I think any time you can put a hand on your heart and simply say, "I am here for you no matter what", you're doing the work to heal this shame. 🫶

@AuntGlow I've been with the guided service. I haven't been joining the writing groups recently, I do want to get back into it, but I can't seem to get myself to attend.

I rather drift apart than stay in unfulfilling relationships, I am able to cope. I drifted apart a long time ago and I prefer it this way. I find many people are naturally uncomfortable with the uncomfortable, I don't like masking. I already mask with family.

A combination of things helped me shift away from SH and SI in the past. It's a combination of meds, therapy and just normal bipolar fluctuations.

TW: SH and SI

I know I need to learn to be kind towards myself, SI and SH often have so much shame attached to them. I also carry a lot of shame from trauma and just feeling ashamed that I'm struggling this much when I have so much in my life. I could try placing my hand on my heart and say kind words to myself.

hey there @creative_writer 😊

i wish there was a way i can erase all that shame you feel and take all that pain away. i can hear how hard and overwhelming it's been for you, and i know you're trying really hard to stay safe - really appreciate you letting us know. 💜

sounds like the pull towards the unhealthy habits are getting stronger, and you're wanting to find ways to stay away from that? the first thing i did was get rid of the access i had to these unhealthy tools (either chucking it away or giving it to a friend/someone you trust to hold onto). are there some other healthy/safe things you can replace the unhealthy behaviours with? How to help yourself if you self-harm | Support | Mind has some great tips for both immediate and long-term strategies. i particularly like the toolbox suggestions - curious to know what your toolbox would look like?

it does suck that the stigma still exists, and i can see how it makes it harder to let go of that shame @creative_writer. i wonder if there are reframes/affirmations you can tell yourself to help shed some of that shame away?

the way i tried to let go of shame was by reminding myself that the guilt i feel doesn't help me move forward, instead it makes me fixate on the past more. it also helps to know that others have dealt with SH/SI too, and i'd never judge them poorly for it... so i try treat myself the same. it is easier said than done, but i hope you know it's possible 💗

love your toolbox!! cute fur baby videos are underrated, they always manage to put a smile on my face.