I am Me

@Rhymster @Is it better to talk over here?

yep, I have also been diagnosed with cPTSD. It makes more sense of my life. I also felt invisible most of my life, as my parents were overwhelmed, we went into “ care” and my father died young.

Unlike your situation, I don’t remember my father being violent. So maybe my response was less fearful and more curious about the diagnoses.

@Appleblossom yes we can speak wherever you feel most comfortable, recently I came from seeing my counselor and checked on my only friend only to find him dead

That would have been horrific @Rhymster

How long ago?

No wonder you are feeling low.

I too, have dealt with a lot of loss.

My tablet was playing up, so I swapped devices. Lucky I have the option.

@Appleblossom a month and a half ago. I have been dealing with loss since childhood as I befriended many elderly people so by 8 was sick of loosing friends

Yes @Rhymster I was similar in hoping that older friends meant wiser friends.

Were you able to connect with others at his funeral?

Only say what you feel is right,

I also have a lot of suicidal ideation.

@Appleblossom The mother of his children though life has taught me to tread carefully

@Appleblossom it is not good constantly thinking about ending it because I have little to live for

Probably wise @Rhymster re treading carefully.

Death is never easy. Was he physically ill for a long time?

I am glad you have a counsellor.

@Appleblossom he was ill for three days but was completely unexpected

Hearing you @Rhymster

Losing a dear friend is hard enough. Being the one to find him is cruel.

I try and make goals, but my mind can get curly and dream up " rational" reasons. I just try and deflect from the suicidal thoughts.