Feeling caged up

hey @creative_writer

it's so tough when things like talking about the trauma feels almost 'wrong'. but at the same time, i do understand that it would be uncomfortable when you've been so used to keeping it in. sometimes even i have to remind myself that being uncomfortable is not always a bad thing - often times that's how we feel when we're new to things.

i can also hear that there's a lot of guilt around asking/reaching out for support. there seems to be a misconception that as soon as we become adults, we need to have everything figured out - which is far from the truth. adulting is a life-long learning process, we will keep making mistakes and then evolving from it. it's okay if you don't have it all figured out - i even look at my parents, and honestly, i don't think they have it all figured out despite acting like it. they just got good at pretending... but i want to break that cycle and not 'pretend'. being honest is so important to me and my mental health journey. i know that you've been working hard to break your own cycle too - it's a tough journey, but i have complete faith that you can do it. 💜

yay, glad to hear you've got more psych sessions!! @creative_writer i remember you mentioning that you only had a 1-2 left from your care plan, did you end up get extra sessions added in?

my parents have said the same thing around mental illness being rare back then, and i do agree with you! there's definitely a lack of self-regulation skills, and it's hard when they're unable to acknowledge that and understand the impact it has on us. it's hard when the older generation have that distrust, often times there's a lot of fear of the unknown. have you parents tried to research/learn more about mental health? my parents haven't (unless you could sending WhatsApp videos about stress that are usually not that helpful) and i feel like their judgement comes from assuming things. they assume they understand, they assume how myself/others with mental health feel, they assume what their saying/doing is helpful... but i think it would've been a lot more helpful if they were curious, asked questions and listened to us instead. which is hard when there's the whole family dynamic where 'parents know best, kids should always listen to their elders'.

at the end of the day, only we have control over our mental health journey. yes, parents and culture can have a heavy influence, but ultimately, we get the final say. and we deserve to choose what's best for us, we deserve to have a fulfilling life. 💜

Good afternoon @creative_writer,

How was the rest of your event on Sunday?

I am curious to know how safety planning with your supports has been too.

Here with you. 💖

Hello @GezzaP!!

How is your sleep/health overall this week so far? 🫶

@creative_writer oh i see, i'm glad that it got acknowledged and that you're able to get more psych sessions.

that makes sense! life is made up of a balance of positive and negatives after all, and like you said - learning to sit with it and not let it consume us is the tricky part. it's nice that your mum knows a bit too, but do i see how the negative/scary stories can make it hard to see the positives.

oh i feel you! i'm always a child to them, don't think i'll be considered an equal unfortunately! it's also how they were brought up so it's hard to challenge that when it's so normalised for them. it is quite frustrating when our voice/opinion aren't given that safe space. if keeping certain things away from your parents keeps you safe, then that's totally okay too! as long as you have someone else (whether it's your psych, friend, etc) to support you. i hope one day they can create a safe enough space for you though.

i'll have to hop off soon, do take care, i hope the rest of your night goes smoothly 💖

@creative_writer I had a good day yesterday. Tradie came on time. Went out for 4 hours.

Slept for 8 hours last night. Gut a bit upset this morning as per usual. Cool here. Expecting a tradie at 7.30am. Doing a lot of maintenance jobs lately. Expensive. Got 2 big bills as well this pay cycle.

Hope you sit ok with yourself today.

@AuntGlow My sleep has been erratic. Last night was good 8 hours. Night before 5 hours - not enough. Snoozed during day which I don’t like to do.

Got upset gut this morning from going out yesterday afternoon/evening. Can’t go for walk just yet because got electrician coming early this morning. Having to carry phone around with me bloody hassle. Excuse me I’m irritable. That’s the hypomania.