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creative_writerSenior Contributor
The recent medication changes has calmed my brain down. I’m still feeling caged up, I know my psych is looking at more frequent therapy sessions if we can get more under ED plan. Once a month sessions aren’t enough. It just feels like the traumatic memories aren’t ending, I’ve been in therapy for years. It’s taking so long to heal. I just want to get to the point the body flashbacks aren’t so regular
In response to: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
tymeModerator
@creative_writer wrote:
@tyme opening up is so hard. It’s been a challenge even with my psych and pdoc. It’s painful to open up.
I struggle with conversations. My mind goes blank sometimes and it’s harder to pay attention, it can get exhausting. Chat gives me the option to think through my response. It’s easier to be more open on chat or even through writing. Maybe it’s just how our brains are wired. Maybe it can be easier to text or chat for some ND folks
I agree. I feel I'm getting worse at speaking. I'm often talking and by the time I want to share my point, I've forgotten what I wanted to talk about... it's bad!
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Feeling caged up
AuntGlowModerator
Good evening, lovely @creative_writer!
How are you feeling today?
I wanted to respond to your message for me from last week:
@creative_writer wrote:
@AuntGlow I want to feel safe and in control. But I don’t have control of my body. If I don’t have control over my body how am I supposed to feel safe? How am I supposed to sit with the disgust of what has been done to me? The body sensations are more uncomfortable in certain regions of the body. I don’t want to feel it again, it feels too much to have to do it on a regular basis. Maybe I’m just agitated, but thoughts of suicide come up. A part of me just wants to give in, I’m safe.
I feel like I’m stuck in this dark pit and can’t find a way out. I find myself reliving this torture day after day, the thoughts or memories don’t leave. I want to be able to move forward and see hope at the end of the tunnel but I’m finding it super hard right now
I really, really hear you on this. I can't even fathom how dysregulating and overstimulating this would be for you. I get why it would be hard to connect with a sense of hope from this place. I also know how hard you try to regulate and how educated you are about what's happening for you... I can hear that safety is key. What do you imagine would help you to feel safe? Is there anything you really need to hear or experience in your more heightened moments?
We want to be here for you as much as we can. 💛
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
AuntGlowModerator
Thank you for sharing this with me @creative_writer. It would be really tough to explore a new way of being, feeling, expressing... I encourage you to go slow.
Have you been able to make time for prayer or grounding today? 💛
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
AuntGlowModerator
I am glad to hear you are taking care of yourself, lovely. @creative_writer
I think that's a good idea to check in regarding your medication.
Have you been doing much writing?
And I have been feeling a bit up and down energy-wise too! 💛
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
GezzaPSenior Contributor
Sounds like you’re really struggling @creative_writer . I hope things improve for you.
I had a good day. My gardener/cleaner/handyman came today. He did some gardening. He moved furniture in spare bedroom and emptied shelf ready for painting next week. We went out for lunch. Then he plastered up holes where my old fire alarms were removed. He left quite early as he came early.
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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