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Something’s not right

Feeling caged up

Feeling caged up

The recent medication changes has calmed my brain down. I’m still feeling caged up, I know my psych is looking at more frequent therapy sessions if we can get more under ED plan. Once a month sessions aren’t enough. It just feels like the traumatic memories aren’t ending, I’ve been in therapy for years. It’s taking so long to heal. I just want to get to the point the body flashbacks aren’t so regular

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In response to: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

Slept for 5 1/2 hours so not too bad. I’m up early again. @creative_writer

English is my first language. I learnt Spanish during my PhD to be able to read sources in Spanish and do interviews in Cuba. I sat in on Spanish classes at the uni. The teachers corrected my work even though I wasn’t enrolled. I also have certificates from community classes and even from the University of Havana in Cuba.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP it’s pretty cool that you can speak and read Spanish.

Were you able to get up to much today?

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@creative_writer I walked to chiro (about 2 km) went to a supermarket nearby and had coffee snd cake. Then I walked back. Watered some pots before leaving for this. Walked around garden alsome more seeds have germinated!
Decided to have a day off gardening today as it’s quite chilly. Read my novel and dozed.

What did you do?

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP still sounds like a productive day. It’s a cool day here too, but I’m still taking the walk.

I did some meal prep, had an Arabic reading class and had my psych appointment. I’m feeling rather irritated right now, not at my psych, but from feeling invalidated from a previous therapist. Probably me just overreacting. Previous therapist said I maximised and minimised my trauma. That I may be stuck because I processed trauma as this bad thing. When I asked her how would I know if I was overreacting, she said I would know. Since then I’ve been tight lipped when talking about SA. I figured, if I don’t talk, nobody can judge me for having unreasonable reactions

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

I’ve still got some shepherd’s pie leftovers. @creative_writer

Sounds like your old therapist was a bit unclear. Hope new one is better.

Yes I’ve had a reasonable day but also relaxing in the afternoon. Still reading novel. Not hungry yet. Usually I grt hungry at this time of day.

What did you cook?

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP Shepard pie sounds good.

It felt invalidating. I want to know what I need to do to make my reactions normal if they’re not normal. I know I’ve probably made a big deal out of nothing, it could’ve been worse. I rather not open up if I’m going to be judged, I’m too scared to tell my story because the other person may think I’m making a big deal out of nothing. I keep it in, feels so much safer. The thoughts of past SA don’t stop.

I made muffins with eggs, cheese, spinach and spring onions. Also made some more sweet potato and rice.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@creative_writer Sounds like a nice dinnet. It is a pity you can’t open up because your therapist might be able to help more. I find I can open up with both my psychistrist and my psychologist.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP muffins were for the morning. I don’t know how I can open up now, I’m too scared of it not ending well that I just carry the pain alone. It hurts a lot to feel invalidated, I’ve also tried opening up to people in my life a long time ago, I wasn’t always believed

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

I can't help but wonder if I am better off broken

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

Hello lovely, it sounds like your mind is really ticking tonight. What do you think you need to feel soothed or grounded? We are here for you. 🥰 @creative_writer @GezzaP

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