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Something’s not right

Feeling caged up

Feeling caged up

The recent medication changes has calmed my brain down. I’m still feeling caged up, I know my psych is looking at more frequent therapy sessions if we can get more under ED plan. Once a month sessions aren’t enough. It just feels like the traumatic memories aren’t ending, I’ve been in therapy for years. It’s taking so long to heal. I just want to get to the point the body flashbacks aren’t so regular

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In response to: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@creative_writer I don’t like to burden people either. Sometimes I get severe anxiety. There was a med I could use that worked but now it’s not available.

I have been really good today happily gardening. Physically worn out, but mentally good today.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP I have anxiety meds, but I don’t like the effect it has on me.

It’s beautiful gardening keeps you happy. Physically doing work can be so good for the body, movement is amazing. Did you get any sunshine today?

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

It was sunny mist of the day @creative_writer cloudy now though and getting a bit cool.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP we had plenty of rain and a bit of sunshine. I’ve been indoors today, wasn’t the best weather.

I am contemplating whether I should take a bit extra supplement, feeling super anxious.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@creative_writer Be careful of overdoing supplements if you have too much you just excrete it out anyway. Getting quite dark here now.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP it’s still within the healthy range. Not sure how much it’ll help to have a bit more, but the anxiety is getting to me.

It’s getting dark here too. The days have been super long after daylight savings started. Do you have much planned for tonight?

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@creative_writer I’m going to watch TV for an hour then go to bed. It just rained here.

I have an appt tomorrow at 9.30. I want to walk and go to supermarket near where I go to see chiro. After chiro I’ll go to a cafe. In the afternoon if the weather is ok I will garden again for a little while. Later I want to read a novel. I have a big pile of books to read in both English and Spanish.

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@GezzaP I hope you sleep better tonight.

Sounds like you’ve got quite a bit planned for tomorrow. I hope it all goes smoothly. Reading is so good for the soul. It’s cool you’re able to speak and read in Spanish. Is Spanish or English your first language?

In response to: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

Good evening @creative_writer,

How are you feeling today? 💖

Last week, you asked, "Do you think I’ll ever be at peace with myself and not feel ashamed of everything I’ve experienced?" I absolutely think this is possible. In my experience, shame and dysregulation still come up... however, the more practice I have allowing myself to not only be in those feelings, but also practice detachment from my more critical/fearful thoughts, it becomes easier. My understanding is because it's helping to strengthen my other neural pathways, those feelings become less frequent. I think the more you keep doing all the wonderful things you are for yourself, the more you will notice spaces of peace and self-compassion. I hope that makes sense.

Sending big hugs your way. 🤗

In response to: Re: Feeling caged up

Re: Feeling caged up

@AuntGlow it’s been rough, but I think that’s just part of healing. A lot can come up when sitting with emotions. I’ve spent so long trying to run away, I still try to run away. It’s affected my sense of worth, feeling pretty unworthy and constantly feeling guilty that I’ll bring people down by having so much baggage. I don’t feel worthy of love, I wish I did, maybe I’m not there yet.

How are you doing today?
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