Feeling caged up

I like to eat at 6-6.30am, 12-12.30pm and between 5-6pm. I get hungry and get the shakes if I don’t eat.

My mum had really bad bipolar and my father had Generalized Anxiety Disorder and depression. My mum was really horrible when she was sick. I remember my parents having a terrible argument when I was 8. I didn’t understand what was going on then. And my teenage years were very difficult. I told my psychologist about this yesterday. But we mostly talk about my fight with my sister and the nature of our relationship.

I hope your day is going ok. Did you do your workout? I went for a walk as usual and watered plants under eaves as well as checking to see that more seeds have germinated.

@creative_writer What’s cpstd? Oh yes 5 small meals. I usually have a snack in the morning and the afternoon. Had banana bread this morning and has a piece of cake with my coffee at my Argentine friend’s place as well as a small fruit from her garden. It was a nice afternoon. We walked around her garden which is superb and productive. She even has a banana tree. Then she showed me the novels and stories in Spanish that she gave me to read. I enjoyed my day. The drive was fine and I was early enough coming home to beat peak hour traffic. Dropped in shops on way home.
Now sitting having a drink and catching up on forum messages. How was your day? My mum was over the top emotional. My dad the opposite.

Oh @creative_writer sorry to hear you had an average day and had to reach out twice. Hope things improve for you. You should get out for a walk. It is a lovely sunny dsy here today. Bit I’m resting up after speaking Spanish for a couple of hours. Hoping it’s clear tomorrow and I can get out in the garden for the morning.

Of course, it lives in the body, doesn't it? How you're feeling is perfectly understandable... I would recommend softening into sharing slowly. Listen to what feels safe. @creative_writer

And yes, absolutely. It sounds like you haven't had healthy sharing modelled for you, so it makes so much sense for that to feel really vulnerable for you. I think you are already challenging this and breaking the generational mould by sharing here and seeing your psychologist - that's a huge achievement. 💛

The forecast for tomorrow sounds ok for gardening. @creative_writer I’m going to bed now because I’m really tired and there is nothing on TV. Fell asleep in chair again.

@GezzaP How are you feeling after only 4 hours of sleep ? Why I'm asking is that for some, that's more than enough, whereas for others, even 12 hours is not enough! I used to suffer from insomnia terribly so if I got 4 hours, I'd be so ecstatic!

What's been happening for you today?

@creative_writer , please know i'm following your posts, but to be honest, I really don't know what to say for it to be helpful for you. Pllease know I care. I'm happy to be guided by you if you can think of how I can be more supportive and validating in a way that works for you.