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The recent medication changes has calmed my brain down. I’m still feeling caged up, I know my psych is looking at more frequent therapy sessions if we can get more under ED plan. Once a month sessions aren’t enough. It just feels like the traumatic memories aren’t ending, I’ve been in therapy for years. It’s taking so long to heal. I just want to get to the point the body flashbacks aren’t so regular
@creative_writer I slept ok but woke up early. Probably due to change of meds. Managed to shower and go to shops. Got healthy food today. Will eat chilli con carne leftovers today.
Only smoked 2 1/2 ciggies today which is really good for me. Working up to my quit target date. Addictions are a real pain with a bipolar brain.
Hope you can eat something today. Did you already do your workout? Did you manage to get in the shower?
Morning @AuntGlow and anyone else who’s around.
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@GezzaP amazing you were able to go into the shower and go food shopping.
I believe smoking and other addictions are common with bipolar. My late uncle had bipolar, he smoked a lot. I wasn’t close to him due to family dysfunction. He chose the wrong person to marry. His wife probably wasn’t good for his health.
I am thinking of going for a walk later today. I haven’t showered so far today
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
GezzaPSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@creative_writer Yes it was good to shower and go to shops. I also took my indoor plants outside to water them as it is a nice day here.
I’ve only had 4 smokes today which is really good for me especially as I had one after lunch. I had left over chilli con carne and I reckon I’ve still got 2 meals left in the pot.
Yes you would probably enjoy a walk. Please try to eat something today. I know it’s hard but you’ll probably feel better physically anyway. Will need a coffee and something else to eat before GP calls as I’m quite tired. Hope she isn’t running too late today.
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@GezzaP Australia is weird right now, in some places the weather is good, other places freezing. It’s cold here in Melbourne.
Sounds like you’re progressing with the smokes.
I’ve had a bit to eat. I’ve had my afternoon matcha, still very exhausted, afternoons are always hard. I hope the appointment goes okay.
Feeling sort of stuck in my mind today. Too much I don’t want to remember
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
GezzaPSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@creative_writer It is typical spring weather here. Warm for a couple of days then chilly for a few. Not much rain though here in Adelaide. I should water the garden but couldn’t be bothered. At least I did the indoor plants. I need to get my gardener/cleaner to come next week. I also need to go back to the optometrist to see how much my developing cataracts have developed. Not looking forward to getting those done.
Glad you ate something but sorry to hear you are stuck in your mind. That must be hard. Did you go for a walk?
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
GezzaPSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@creative_writer I had a coffee and now I’m thinking of having a snack in case my GP is late calling.
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@GezzaP I hope the appointment went well.
I think I’m losing it, I want to relapse into bad ways
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
AuntGlowModerator
Re: Feeling caged up
Hey @creative_writer,
I can see that things are feeling big right now in the mind and body. I know how overwhelming this can be... can we acknowledge that these feelings are there and look at some safer ways to manage how you're feeling? Could we look at some inner child self-soothing? 💛
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
creative_writerSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@AuntGlow today has been rough. I had a period of disassociation and now I’m experiencing emotions intensely. My body feels wrong, body flashback. When will it end? I want the pain to end, I feel like I found a way, and I think I know how to get access. I also feel like letting the ED progress, I don’t feel like taking care of myself. Otherwise I’ve had suicidal ideation popping up too. I don’t want to live like this. I’m safe for now.
I’m eating dinner right now, I had a walk today. I’ll try some prayers, music, massage. I’m feeling super overwhelmed rn
In response to: Re: Feeling caged up
GezzaPSenior Contributor
Re: Feeling caged up
@creative_writer Oh no you are having a bad time of it. Hang in there and try to eat tonight.
GP appt went well she gave me the stop smoking tablets script. Didn’t ask about a mental health plan and thinking it would be better to ask my psychiatrist for one as my GP rejected my request for one when I asked for it a few years ago.
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