Hi

That's awesome @ArraDreaming !

The ute-ing sounds like so much fun! Geez you have awesome ideas!

And yes, we all know you are trying your best. It's not easy. It's a change from any other way you've known how to respond, and hence it takes a lot of persistence to 'grow' that part of the brain... (whereever that part of the brain is)

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@ArraDreaming wrote:
I want to not just think about things especially not just after
I want to understand myself before things happen @tyme
But that’s a long road hey,
Does it just happen aNd you use the skill and then you reflect and realise why you did it AFTER, kinda like todayor do you need to build up the muscle and actively tell yourself to use your strategies before it becomes 2nd nature
I think the second? maybe the first one only works to reflect on negative behaviour or something
Am I making sense @tyme

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This is called the proactive approach versus the reactive.. @ArraDreaming I totally get you

I fear maybe I didn’t make sense then @tyme

I meant in terms of using Strategies

is if better to just do them and know them so well you just do them without thinking or is it better to have concious thought of like I am feeling x andi. Need to do y

Is the first one a long way off for me

It starts off the latter, then eventually it moves to the first one and this is what we work towards @ArraDreaming

Here's an example from my own experience:

I used to hate this mindfulness business. Each time someone told me to do mindfulness, I felt like throwing something at them. After a few years, I looked into the science and research about it and was finally convinced that it can make a difference. From there, I started consciously practicing it everyday.

Now, when I'm in a stressful situation, I find myself automatically jumping to do it... so THIS is what we hope for you in the future. For the neural pathways in your brain so be so 'used', that you don't have to even think about using any of the strategies anymore.

But yes, it takes A LOT of practice. For me, it was at least once everynight.

Ah interesting

What are neuaral pathways?
Is that a question for you or someone else lol @tyme

one day I hope it is like that, autopilot takes over kinda.
also I can’t stand mindfulness either, my boys listen to meditations at night time and I physically cringe

Its great for them, I can’t use it for myself though

Also just to clarify on the above lol, I was with some other people camping and I had a few drinks, nothing bad I realise that might have made me sound like I was referring to more. Also btw, I don’t drink on my own anymore, I drink still at home but I don’t go to the shed anymore… @tyme

few reasons for that