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Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
DownMoreThanUpSenior Contributor
Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
Friday, the week before last, the voices in my head began taking over and soon after that i lost touch with my reality off and on until later Tuesday morning.Thank God i did nothing stupid, nor did i damage my relationship with my wife, as has happened in times past when psychotic.
Since late Tuesday morning no more voices, so that is good, but i'm so very tired and still not able to sleep. The problem i'm paranoid to drug myself out, because sleepers often don't work when i'm like this, and then i still wont be able to sleep, but will feel absolutely horrible from the sleepers confusing and clouding my mind, still running non stop anyhow. So when i take sleepers when in this state i run the real risk of making things worse rather helping me get some rest.
Currently i'm having real problems sleeping as my mind wont stop!!!😪 i know from past psychotic times, i best let the mental energy flow run its natural course as much as possible, until my mind calms down enough to get more sleep.
In response to: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
@DownMoreThanUp ooohhh the chemistry of feelings. Such complex critters we are. I am glad the psychosis part is behaving itself.
I could mention the funeral to someone who knew and liked the person who passed, but couldn’t make it. Just 2 minute chat but the gradual healthy organic way of doing grief in context.
I didn’t follow completely your last paragraph about your daughter. Maybe a typo. Did she know lots of disabled kids who died relatively young?
I played for funerals as an early teen, so had a sense of its function.
@AuntGlow I had a support worker and 2 choirs today. I made a massive chicken Caesar salad.
Thank you both for checking in.
In response to: Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
DownMoreThanUpSenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
@Appleblossom Sorry i missed this one. Disabled as well yes, i think about three or four maybe, quite a few elderly people she knew and loved though. She has a real attachment to teenagers and elderly people for some reason. And has almost a photographic memory when it comes to people. For example she still knew someone who she knew the girl she knew when she was 4, by name. And at times even the names of the people who were there at that time she knew that girl as well. And ask after them too.
Being an active member in a Church with about 400 hundred people. Some with large families. She knows them all by name. And can differentiate baby photos of our grand children as babies, we got 19 of them, that both my wife and me at times struggle to do (or other people's babies even though many are now 20+ years old.)
So when they die she needs processing time BIG TIME. Once she was befriend by people from our Church who were young and had only recently married. Long story short sadly their baby dabout a year, not sure here, after it was born. Our girl loved that baby a lot. She had seen the baby growing in the mother's belly for 5 or so months, and is at such a state very attached to such a child. As we all are i suppose in such a situation.Also she had not yet witnesed many deaths in her life. Her grand mother's and an uncle she did not know very well so that was not so hard at the time.
Anyhow their good friendship shattered after that. For the poor lady and her husband could not cope with our daughter's need to process. Poor them and poor our daughter, they both lost more than the baby, for it sadly it has never come good again.
Our girl needs to do this. Same questions, over and over again. The answer needs to settle the feelings she has about them being dead, much more than the question. After some time she will feel missing the baby again, and she will again ask the same question. The more she loves someone the more time it takes her to mentally digest. However for people trying to deal with their own intense sorrow, this is not really want you want to hear, all day long, at such times.
Truly she is really cute when it comes to dealing with death. For she has no fear for it. When you die you go to Jesus and sing holy, holy, holy. This is her most favourite hymn. And all the people she knows who have already died. And there are a lot now. She will name one by one. and tell us how lucky they are. But their body is in box she will end the story, this is really important, they are not coming back, they are in Heaven now. And one day she will too. Which is totally fine with her. (As she begins naming all the people she loves waiting for her and she is eager to meet again.😭)
@AuntGlow@rav3n@Bunniekins@Dimity
i shared a lot of myself this afternoon. Feeling deeply for the person involved, but it triggered a lot of memories and took me a good few hours to work through. It rocked me more than i expected. Yet also deep thankfulness that i never have to fear like i did then no even though i can still see my tormentors in the eyes. i hate the wicked the way love hates the wicked, not burn all my goodness out of my heart hate, as i had cultivated for so long, but loving myself where they hated me and others.
Not sure if i make sense here.
In response to: Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
DimitySenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
Sharing was hard work for me too @DownMoreThanUp . And today I was also completing some psych assessments. A lot of processing. Hoping it helped.
Your daughter sounds a very special person. Cherish her. (I'm sure you do.)
In response to: Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
DownMoreThanUpSenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
@Dimity She truly is a like a light in all of our lives. Anyone taking the time to get to know our girl loves her to bits. She is so pure hearted, innocent and honest even when she lies, try do that!
She has taught me a lot about life. A reality untouched by lies, and with very little concept of right and wrong in the technical sense of the word. The fruit i was dining on myself every day, all day long when down deep, heeding the lies my depressive mindset was firing at me. Yet she has an intuition about how we ought to do things, that comes from a loving, caring and understanding right from wrong heart. This has very often amazed me.
So yes we do love her heaps.
In response to: Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
@DownMoreThanUp Your daughter does sound like a beautiful person. I have known a few Downies with affection. They have a lot of love. So it’s no surprise she remembers lots of people’s names. At least the passing of people she knows doesn’t cause her too much pain.
Day by day.
Step by step.
Treasure any glimmer.
🐢🍎
In response to: Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
DownMoreThanUpSenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
@Dimity@AuntGlow@rav3n@Bunniekins@Appleblossom
i have done really well over the last week, much better than any such period during 2025. So happy this has been so. And that more and more of my divided self is being united into me.
It is true it can still be scary to see myself say, and in particular do things, contradictory to how i would have done it at other times, yet i can see the gap closing more and more where in my divided selves i merge my differences, much more than exclude myself within myself.
Let love rule our moments, especially when bad life is pounding, does really work friends.
So happy about that! Wish i would have learned these lesson 50 years ago. For so much suffering could have been prevented that way.
Hoping you have a wonderful day. And thanks for caring.
Hi friends found an interesting video on childhood trauma and overcoming addictions. Anyone else relate to this video's explanation on addictions in their life?
In response to: Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
heartathomeSenior Contributor
Re: Recovering from a psychotic episode at the moment.
Good morning @DownMoreThanUp Gabor comes up on my emails all the time because I was going to do one of his Webinars. I couldn't do it on the day and can't unsubscribe now! They just keep coming!
His stuff requires thinking and studying and my brain isn't up to it anymore!
Have you seen the rat park experiment? I remember the video when I was studying addiction, many years ago. I hope you have a good day! Have you got any plans?
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