Working in the field, living with the very things my organisation supposedly supports AND I AM OVER IT!

hello @Doc_Gonzo

this resonates strongly with me

i have experienced the "robotic care" lacking in compassion and empathy from a few of the nursing staff within the private sector

one so called clinical nurse told me he was my advocate! I need not say any more

there are some who are excellent, sincere and direct when needed

i found working in the corporate world more of a struggle as i got older having been to one too many training courses, played their games, meetings for meetings and so on and so on

i can well imagine working in the mental health corporation world would negate so many of your principles.

you have written this thread compassionately as well as delicately.

your points at the end are profound and from someone who has had a major illness for far too long, I find your words refreshing, new, yet totally fitting

you are a blessing to the industry and I feel that you will shine in a different part of the mental health field.

I dont have any suggestions, i am a patient within the system that has a monopoly on care, has no benchmarks for comparison, no competition and is left to do as power dictates. The very same that I pay copious amounts of money to, for when I need hospital support.

do not let the dreaded, corporation dragon destroy your passion, understanding of how human we really are,

hello @Doc_Gonzo @utopia

not sure why but there was an error exception or some such electronic terminology

i wanted to highlight the following:

"I am Doc_Gonzo and I am someone who is complex and that complexity makes me human and
my humanity is not an illness to be cured."

Hello @Doc_Gonzo,

That does sound incredibly hard working for that organisation, I'm sorry you have gone through the things you have and they have not supported you the way they should. It's also a shame that you are unable to find another role and also doing your Masters that is a lot to be taking on, do you find that you are also incredibly stressed too at all? Is anyone from your uni able to help you find work? Or even jobs at your uni in the meantime?

You have a huge amount of insight and write in such a descriptive in beautiful way, do you find that writing helps you?

Lunar

hello @Former-Member @Doc_Gonzo @utopia

Yes I agree wholeheartedly with your comments Lunar

He emulates his success in learning and demonstrating the results of his narrative practice study.

We need, the world needs far more people like you Doc_Gonzo

hello @Doc_Gonzo

I dont know which state you are in, but even work within supported living you would be invaluable as that is in the community. Would that count for your practical hours in study?

working in situations with people suffering from serious mental illnesses and long term suffering. you would be invaluable and perhaps be introduced into the area you hope to advance in.

If you are in need of support, study wise I do hope that you find the necessary resources that you deserve.

I am waiting for a room at the inn, i am in the holding bay, on the waiting list to get into a private hospital that has no competition.

Your words have helped me today, I am able to look at myself differently today. In particular the commennt about complexity and my humanity touched my heart. I am so complex so thank you. I read most of your article to my psychiatrist and he agreed, especially the complexity part. So you impressed one of the very highly respected, top psychiatrists in my state. well done.

dont give up

@utopiaThank you for your words. I am sorry to hear that your experiences have left you on workcover for so long. That is truly a failure of system upon system of care, I really feel for you and wish you the best for your future.

I have a job interview with another org, however they have already stated that they have had so many applications that they will be holding two interview rounds. At least I can say that I made it to the first round if I don't get the job. I went through two interviews to get the position I currently have so I know I have the interviewing skills and on paper I look golden, so I will keep looking.

But for now I have to work hard at singing and dancing in the rain, because shutting down and weathering out the storm will not help me.

So I will keep working focusing on the bigger picture (me in private practice one day) and keep applying for jobs where I can.

@Former-Member@Former-MemberThank you both for your kind words. I know that a lot of what I am feeling is because I refuse to let my values and principles tucked away to suit the environment. I have always been willing to work within any environment and this is the first time that I have felt ill-equipped to rattle the foundations of such a rigid structure.

It has sapped my confidence and left me feeling powerless and if I feel powerless, what does that mean for the people who depend on me to speak up for them when they feel they can't? I can't let go of this thought and it makes me cry (until i switch off all emotions again) because I have always been able to shake the shit from the rafters.

I hold out hope that I will find work soon, I am certainly not going to spend the rest of my days where I am. I have to keep focusing on the bigger picture and it certainly doesn't stop me from writing. My blog has died off a bit, however I will get back to it one day.

I still write as a way of speaking up and out. I strongly and passionately believe that the voices of those living with mental-ill health are the most important voices out there and will always be working to include them where possible.

I will try to respond where I can, however I dip and dive out life when I am at home as it takes a lot of energy to wipe the toxic waste off me at the end of each day.

So thank you

hello @Doc_Gonzo

I hear what you are saying

I too feel the same as you and have spoken up about things I witnessed whilst staying in hospital, several times

fortunately my psychiatrist encourages this in me

he has also said the world needs far more people like myself

so I relay those words to you

we do have to look after ourselves and I now realise that when I take time out, I am not giving up on my values and principles. They are still there.

So when you need time out and you will, studying so hard as well as surviving in the corporate quagmire, voicing your concerns all draining

it will not fix itself overnight but as long as there are voices like ours never giving up but looking after ourselves, change will be happening.

Have you seen Eleanor Longden on youtube? Very inspiring

good luck

keep in touch when you can and most of all look after you

I left work early today because I was physically shaking so hard that I couldn't control it. I am usually always able to manage my tremors with very little effort, so much so that no one would ever know that I shake. Today however I couldn't stop and it was so bad that I had to leave for fear of being 'caught'. I spoke breifly with my team leader and refused to speak about certain things in detail and I expressed my reasons for not wishing to speak openly as being in fear of reprimand.

To speak honestly and open leads to judgment and blame where I work, there is no way around this. My supervisor asked if this was something that needed to go to HR and I declined citing several examples fro other staff members where this blew up in their face and they were the ones who were placed on 'probationary behavioural bonds' ( I shit you not!), because apparently you can't criticise management, however they can say and do what they want.

There were several things said during my interview for another position within the org that I work for that essentially called me out for 'being a risk', because I am not doing enough to take care of myself. I spoke of this in my first post about what they put in writing and what they are not prepared to do to enable me to do this. I can't quit because the waiting list for applying for centrelink benefits is 8 weeks if you quit, regardless of the reasons.

I just have to try and ride this out as best I can and hope that something pops up in the near future. I have never been in a place where I feel so ill-equipped to manage my own mental health and I am finding it very frightening. I have infomred my psychologist of what is going on and have made an appointment with my GP.

I guess I will have to play this mintue by minute.