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Despair potential trigger: abuse

hiddeniteSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 8:13 pm AEDT

Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor19 Apr 2015, 10:34 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@hiddenite

Sweetheart,
Personal value
Lighting a candle
Learning value

Beautiful words that's you can ....'eat up,'
Linger over
Read, smile through

What and how do we value ourselves? How do we start ?

It just happens and when your ready we are handing you the cool words ...........

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

SCORPIONSenior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 3:14 am AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Very nice
it's 1am can't sleep too much pain physically and mentally and not sure want to anyway I feel my demons lurking so dark and lonely even when there is people around me. This place is a great ray of light. Stay well
scorpion

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 2:08 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Im here with you scorpion another night becomes another day to get through. Even when we don't want to. ...we do...
take care
karen

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 2:11 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hey Anne

beautiful.
But I have no idea where to start. I still believe I deserve to be punished for not being good enough not doing enough.
I punish myself because my girls are hurting and it doesn't matter what I do I can't make it better
karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember20 Apr 2015, 2:47 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

I agree with everyone else that you are definitly amazing! you have strength inside you proven by the fact that you have survived and keep surviving this hellish stuff. Im not sure i have much to add except keep on keeping on, i hope that thins ease for you soon and that there is some light. Walking beside you...

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 4:53 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Kristin
sitting by the river today wondering if you are feeling any better
take care
karen

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 4:55 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Lj
thanks but at the moment my strength is coming from complete strangers who care for someone they don't even know.
I am very grateful for that support.
Karen

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 5:01 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Had a complete meltdown today the man who has been saying awful stuff about me parked behind me at school. He sat there just glaring at me.
I was so scared I couldn't get out of the car. Panic attack im so weak and pathetic.
Why do I let men terrify me. And I cannot stand up for myself. I just allow people to hurt me.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember20 Apr 2015, 8:01 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

I guess it doesnt matter where the strength comes from, its you who are choosing to accept it and use it, be kind to you.

I get the fear and panic attack, when i see, hear or even see the same car that my ex drives i am struck by terror. its not weak or pathetic its a physiological response that our brains do without our choosing. occassionally just someone standng behind me in the checkout line etc can make me feel trapped and frozen. I'm sorry you have this extra problem going on at the moment, its not what you need.

Glad you are here, LJ

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Alessandra1992Senior Contributor20 Apr 2015, 8:16 pm AEST

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@SCORPION
hope you got some rest even if sleep not possible..it is an absolute hurdle when pain prevents sleep..
I remember years ago I kept getting really bad back pains, really bad and I couldn't figure out why it was happening and nothing really worked, well 2 panadol did zero..turns out...drumroll.. I had been drinking dandelion tea as a coffee substitute..7-8 cups a day.. My boss noticed and said "In Austria that is an extremely strong herbal medicine..one cup max..or will make your kidneys hurt..!". Um where are your kidneys? In your back..so quitting dandelion gave me a pain free nights sleep...
If only I would stop ageing, I would sleep like a baby...

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