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Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi @hiddnenite, hope things are settling for you and you are recovering ok from that horrible experience. Was there any positive outcome at all in terms of longterm help/support now that they have done their 'history'?
I have a visit tomorrow from someone who is going to be a support worker for me but they need to do a history and paper work tomorrow. I'm not sure i'll be able to do it. So we'll see. Thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok,
LJ

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey @hiddenite

Karen I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you are ok now.

I have been off the air a bit myself. I've been having a difficult time these last few days, still not sorted out things with my friend. Hopefully we will but I think we need some space for a while. Yesterday was absolutely terrible, I made the mistake of taking my 6yo shopping. She just can't handle the stimulation, nor the unpredictability. She had a massive melt-down which lasted ages. I'm still exhausted.

School starts in two days! Yay!

Take care of you my friend.

Hope for a quiet river walk endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Karen, hope you are recovering after your horrendous appointment. Hoping that something good will come out of it as well for you... somehow anyway! Its been a hard week here and have a slightly similar appointment tomorrow where i need to give a history. hoops and hurdles!

Hope you are ok,

LJ

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Kristin
ive been thinking of you while sitting by the river.
im deeply hurt that someone I don't even know has put things on the schools Facebook page.
what makes men think they can judge me.
Im so tired of being judged devastated and distressed beyond words.
I hope you have managed to sort your situation out.

I just want everything to stop I never want to hurt again.
Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Karen,

It's so good to hear from you.

I'm so sorry to hear that - if there is something offensive or inappropriate then you can ask the school to have it deleted. Pretty sure they can do that.

I haven't got to my river walk this week I'm afraid. Taking the new (second-hand) car in to have the tyres rotated and some noises checked out. Hopefully it will be all okay.

hope for the peace of the river endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Kristin
unfortunately thats how pathetically stupid I am. I cannot stand up for myself. I just let people walk all over me.
Always have and now too scared to help myself

hope your car is ok

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Dear Karen

This is not pathetically stupid (neither are you). It has a name and it is a direct consequence of the abuse you have survived. It is called learned helplessness. It's what happens when someone is abused repeatedly in situations where trying to help themselves will result in them getting hurt more.

So what did they say? I'm pretty narky about it - I hate it when people do this to others who are vulnerable! It has a name - it's called bullying.

Thanks. My car should be fine, my son suggested I take it to the mechanic before whatever the noise is becomes a problem.

Take care of you.

I have been lighting the candle each night for you, hoping you will be ok. Keep on keeping on - you are a survivor.

Hope for genuine friendships endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Thanks for the candle Kristin im very grateful

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hi @hiddenite hope that you're day has been ok today. and there has been some time for light and bright moments. I've had you in my thoughts the last few days but my posts weren't appearing ,but Cherry seems to have fixed it today.
LJ

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi LJ
been battling things are awful anxiety so bad now that I am having trouble speaking. I feel ill going to the girls school and very frightened by the man that is saying awful things about me. Im terrified.
Pts is full on and hyoer vigilance.
Thank you for thinking of me.
Hope you are managing your battles
Oh saw case worker today who told me the new medication isn't working. NO KIDDING
Tomorrow is Australia childhood foundation reliving more trauma. Just another week.
Take care Karen
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