FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Something’s not right

Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

511 - 520 of 1,050
1...515253...105

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

yeah, my two are 4 and 6 so we are probably in somewhat similar positions. We also couldnt go back to where we were living and have moved an hour away to be somewhere safer and closer to more 'services' for me but so far none of that has actually happened or been able to be organised. oh well! i Bet the kids are excited to have you home, which will be a bit of an added pressure (Well it was for me!) but like you said, the mhu wasnt helpful, so hopefully being home will be better. 🙂

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

@hiddenite

Karen,

Thanks for sharing the good news. It must be quite surreal after being in the MHU for nearly 2 weeks. Well done getting home. The forum's closing soon, but I just wanted you to know I'll be keeping that candle burning for you. Sending you cyber hugs

Hope for the peace and tranquility of a river walk endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Thanks Kristin
the candle sounds perfect.
I used to always burn candles. Not allowed to at mum's.
Really low new medication again sick of the side effects.
Hope you have a lovely time with your daughter.
Take care
karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Karen,

The meds sound hideous. I know I used to struggle massively with them - both not working well and making me ill. I really feel for you.

Sorry you aren't able to have candles at your mum's, that's sad. We will burn them here then :)! I am in two minds about lighting the fire tonight. It's a bit cool but I haven't got huge amounts of fire wood, so I think I might leave it. It will hopefully be another motivater for me going to bed earlier.

I took my 6yo down to the city this evening, for a Good Friday service at the church where I used to go before I moved up to the valley. I still love the service when we can get there - it's a contemplative style which suits me well.

I hope you are coping ok with the challenge of kids on school holidays, I know I used to find them very stressful. Strangely not nearly so much now.

Hope for enjoying time with our children endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Karen

I have my candle laterns lit for you again

I hope the meds settle soon
take care
Sara

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Kristin and Sara
thanks for the candles and believing in me while I am unable.
things are very dark for me at the moment terrible flashbacks and nightmares reliving the trauma over and over.
Tomorrow is the anniversary of him violently and horribly violating me.

I still believe that I deserved it. For not being good enough. Or making him happy. If I was a better person he would not have hurt me.

my thoughts scare me and feeling really hopeless.

Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Karen,

no you are good enough.

People like that.....they will hurt you anyway they will try to strip away everything that you are using any means possiable.

It doesnt matter how you take care of them or your family......in there own mind we are animals to be tamed

you can slave and slave and it will never be enough for them

then they will play every card when you leave to make you the bad person so that every person will turn their back on you.

we are not animals we are women and no body is better then oursevles.

my 12month anniversiry of leaving my abuser is comming up i was hoping to leave the devorce and custody battle alone for a while yet while i get past this time but he is pushing for it and his attuide is getting nasty. saying I'm scared is an under statement.

just remember you are stronger then you think you are and i will light my latern for you, plus I will send the healing powers of the blood moon your way tonight

Sara

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Unknown userMember

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Anniversaries are awful, I have terrible things in my head because it's easter and it's truly so hard. I left my ex nearly two years ago and he continues to be able to find ways to be a constant nightmare. Things that he did go through and through me. I lost the community I lived in through everything he said/says. But life does go on and our beautiful kids do need us. I hope you can continue being strong, you are strong, you've made it this far and you can keep going. Keep talking to people in real life, maybe consider lifeline or other numbers if you need. I wish some peace for you tonight.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Sara
ive been treated like a possession for so long.
I have taken over punishing myself and I hurt and inso much pain I ddon't know how to stop what is happening to me.
I'm so sorry that you've had similar experiences.

I feel to damaged to be helped and I don't deserve it.

Enjoy the light from the lantern.
take care
karen

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Thanks lisajane
im glad that you had the courage to leave.

I was never that strong pathetic and weak and my girls deserve better.
511 - 520 of 1,050
1...515253...105

SANE Forums is published by SANE with funding from the Australian Government Department of Health.

SANE Forums does not provide crisis support.
If you need immediate assistance, please see available crisis services.

Learn more about SANE and SANE services at sane.org

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

Back to top
SANE logo
Australian Commission on Safety and Quality in Health Care NSQDMH Accreditation logo

Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.

Donate Now
Aboriginal flag
Torres Strait Islander flag
LGBT flag
Transgender flag

SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.

SANE is a public company limited by guarantee and registered tax-exempt charity with DGR (Deductible Gift Recipient) status.

Charity ABN 92 006 533 606. Donations of $2 or more are tax deductible. SANE, PO Box 1226, Carlton VIC 3053.