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Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Karen,

How are you? I have been thinking of you on this full-on day. I would love to hear how the appointment went? I hope it was a fresh start with someone good who listens well - I agree with Sandy that having someone who is a good encouraging listener can make such a difference.

How is your face, and have they done anything about your meds?

Take care of you.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Kristin

I have tried to reply three times but keep getting error.

It's been full on to

day my daughter had a paedatrician appointment.

I made it to the psychiatrist had to wait an hour by the time I saw her I was shaking uncontrollably and could hardly speak.

She has changed all my meds and put me on four different ones. I'm exhausted from having to relive the trauma again. I made such a mess of it.

Overwhelmed that I have to suffer more withdrawal symptoms and the unknown reaction to so many new ones.

I will catch up with you tomorrow thanks for the kind thoughts and hope your psych appointment went ok.

Take care

Karen

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Alessandra

Thank you for the suggestions, I did write a timeline of events out. I'm struggling ATM after such a full on day. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your support.

Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Karen

even with such a hard day behind you compaired to a few days ago you sond so much stronger.

I for one am so proud of you 🙂

but the bon fire is still there for you the light still bright to keep you strong

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Sara

The bon fire sounds comforting, I have wrapped myself in a really soft blanket and trying to find some comfort after a traumatic day.

Sincerely thank you

Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Well done Karen. It sounds like you have done amazingly well today. You say the psych was a woman? Do you feel this might be a small win? Hope for a turning the corner with someone to work with?

The soft blanket sounds like a lovely self-soothing thing to do at the end of such a day.

I am going to head off to bed early again. I am so exhausted after spending so many days in a row in the city - today makes 4 days in a row. Usually I keep it to 1, or 2 if I absolutely must. I find it so nerve-wracking. And I have to go back in probably Friday to pick up my new 2nd hand car.

We can touch base tomorrow, I hope you sleep well.

Take care of you my friend.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Alessandra1992Senior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey @hiddenite thanks for your kind words! I would like to say you so totally rock..you're sharing the he blanket of friendship and strength with all of us..@Sara I am bringing another trailer of wood to the bonfire tonight to keep you warm and the mosquitoes away..Boiling up a brew of decaffeinated Chai in the billy..and bringing some extra silk yarns, 4 ply to make our blanket bigger..I can't knit, but @Neb might be able to sit with us and teach us to knit while we sit by the fire..

Hope is eternal, because it is limitless, boundless and sustains and grows where ever it is needed..self seeds and spreads from person to person..

@kristin , what a huge week you are having..fingers crossed by the end of the week a bit of down time is available...

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Kristin

You sure don't mess around what a full on weekend you've had. Great that you are organizing support for your children its such a difficult process trying to find the right help. Something I worry a lot about I don't want to get it wrong.

I'm glad the school is supportive that helps, the girls school have been wonderful that why I'm driving the 40 minutes one way, so they are still with their friends, and its a great country school.

Great news about the car hope the old one lasts until you get the new one, fingers crossed.

Don't forget to remind yourself of the progress you are making, every bit counts and you are doing an awesome job.

Take care

Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey Sandy

Only too happy to help, thanks for the complement not used to those. My 6 and 8 year old girls are learning to knit so the more the merrier.

Hope you are doing ok

Karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor

Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hi Sara

I've been thinking of you today hope a new day brings some peace. I'm here if you need to chat or just sit for awhile. The fire still burning and we are all here to support you.

Take care

Karen

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