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Despair potential trigger: abuse

hiddeniteSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 8:13 pm AEDT

Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:00 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dear Karen,

Sorry I disagree with you. All that - you are and more, that we see. The biggest damage of abuse is it blinds us to our own strength and courage. The biggest abuse is the lies, more so when they are lies of "love".

Yesterday sounds horrendous - again. I wish I could be there I would give them a good kidcking where it hurts! They seem to be utterly clueless and blowing whichever way the wind is at any given minute, let alone for a day. The way that you are being treated is outright abusive and shameful. No wonder you find it deeply retraumatising and that your health is deteriorating in the midst of it.

One of my close friends has had a similar experience with CPS doing things which massively undermined her mental health. It has taken so long for her to crawl back into a sense of herself and stand up, but she is. And you will too.

Please Karen if anyone else was going through even half of what you are enduring I know from what I've seen that you would be encouraging them with deep compassion - please try as much as you can to give that compassion to yourself. If you cannot for your own sake then for your girls.

I take it that you are able to drive again. Have you been able to get some peace by the river? The weather has been rather all over the place, and we've had controlled burning happening around Warby and Wesy. But the river still flows, and whispers its calm gift of peace for us all.

Hope for true help endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:03 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Thanks Sara

Its just too hard.....

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:04 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dearest Karen @hiddenite,

We'll , I've been here since the beginning of Sane and that's certainly not my experience in the wonderful like minded people who contribute in Sane forums. Actually even our moderators have lives that they are honest about.

Agree with Sara and her good good message.

We are just a group of people...... In all walks of life who have our own struggles and everything you are going through has definitely been or are in what you are going through.

But your amazing quality is something that some others also have you show empathy while your disintegrating.

Ask beautiful @kristin.

like check in in one hour. Thinking about you.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:08 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

What happens when you have lost all hope.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:17 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

The that is what you concentrate on looking for... weather in the bud of a new flower..... starting a new book (very me)...even your first cup of coffee in the morning after a bad night.

everyday you find one little thing you can hold on too.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:21 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

One little thing you can concentrate on that nobody can break with a bad word or an action.... weather they mean it or not.....weather it scares you or not.....that you can turn to on thoes days where somthing feels like its tearing you apart so far down to your soul that you are left bear and broken

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:25 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

That's when you can please allow us ( @Alessandra1992 @peace @sara @Hobbit @kato @Ellie @PeppiPatty @Loopy @Former-Member )

to start a bonfire by each of us throwing our "sticks" of hope on the fire - until it is a lighthouse. And you hold onto sight of that. We really care Karen. You matter. To us, to your girls. Please ring Lifeline or use one of the online chat support services. Your light is important too.

If nothing else works then hold your love for your girls before you as a beacon to light the way, for no one else can be their mum. They need you.

Sending you cyber hugs, and holding you in my prayers.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:34 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@sara

Thanks

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:38 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

When i feel that my girls would be better off without me I am useless to them

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 9:42 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have and at times still do feel like that @hiddenite I have a boy and a girl..... but who would give the mum hugs who will show them that does'nt matter how hard it gets there is still a way that there can still be a smile about somthing...... speaking of which i can hear a night terror i will be back if i can tonight

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