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Despair potential trigger: abuse

hiddeniteSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 8:13 pm AEDT

Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

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In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor03 Mar 2015, 7:26 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Anne
thanks just the usual panic before having to meet someone new and manage a strange place. Really hope its not a man.
sounds like you have a good support network thats great.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor03 Mar 2015, 9:06 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@hiddenite how are you Karen,

I can probably speak for all my like minded friends here..... @Chris @kristin @kato @allessandra1992 @peace @Rick everyone else; apologies for not writing
But we are thinking of you. Your brave and very caring to others while your going through a difficult time .
Hope your appointment foes well, it's for you

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor03 Mar 2015, 10:10 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@hiddenite

Hi Karen,

I have been off elsewhere reading on-line about some stuff that is going on for my girls. Sorry I have had a whole bunch of new stuff land on my plate yesterday and I am still reeling, although a lot better than last night!

I did sleep a bit better last night thanks.

I really hope the case worker is a good listener and also very importantly female. Can I suggest that you write a note before the meeting? Write out (in your own words) "I can only work with a woman, because of the abuse I suffered - nothing personal." Then if by some insane chance they send a guy you can just hand it to him. Does that sound like something you can do?

I truly hope and pray that the appointment goes well tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

I have ECASA tomorrow for the first time in 4 weeks. SO much has happened in that time!

Hope for someone to listen, care and help endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor04 Mar 2015, 6:38 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Kristin
im sorry to hear that thing are not going well for you.
I hope that you are able to find a solution for what is happening. Your girls are so important and so is finding the right support for them , while looking after yourself. Its such a difficult balancing act.
you are in my thoughts and wishing you all the very best.
take care
karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor04 Mar 2015, 9:27 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Karen,

Thanks so much . I am completely emotionally wrung out tonight so I'm off to bed early.

BTW Did you have your appointment today? How did it go?

Take care of you my friend.

Hope for compassionate help on our journey endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor04 Mar 2015, 11:05 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dear @kristin
Thinking about you
Take care
Sweetheart

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 6:35 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

I had my appointment on Wednesday , they changed the appointment three times so I spent three hours in the car waiting.
I was a mess.
the dr was a different one si I had to relive the trauma again.
They changed the meds again....
ive had enough the system is causing me to deteriorate and I don't know what to do.
is it really worth the battle , I doubt my strength to keep fighting.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 7:34 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dearest Karen, @hiddenite,

Thinking about you, your beautiful support you give. We all care about you, check in again in one hour.

Anne

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 8:29 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Anne

Thanks for the support, think I'm just wasting everyone's time.

I'm stuck in this, exhausted never ending flashbacks, triggers, anxiety, unable to be around anyone, isolate myself in the car. Can't even sleep without reliving the trauma.

I don't belong anywhere, to damaged to be helped, so hopeless that things are never going to improve.

I read other peoples posts they fight, determined, and courageous. All that I'm not. Just weak and pathetic.

I'm sorry I just bring people down.

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

saraSenior Contributor05 Mar 2015, 8:50 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@hiddenite

your not wasting anybody's time or bringing anybody down at all.

To be here to ask for help that is extreamly strong.

Nobody is past help....ever.... nobody is too damaged.

we just need to help you find the right help for you...... it just might be in the most out there place you can think of but it is still there

There is hope for all of us..... hope is what holds us......weather it is hope for ourselves or others.

even if it is just the next sunrise

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