Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Despair potential trigger: abuse

hiddeniteSenior Contributor30 Jan 2015, 8:13 pm AEDT

Despair potential trigger: abuse

I have been diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety, social anxiety, and depression.

I saw a trauma psychologist for 10 months twice a week, but she stopped seeing me when my safety became an issue while processing the trauma.

My symptoms are so bad now I isolate myself in the car everyday to avoid triggers and flashbacks. Unable to go to strange places, talk to people. Just don't belong anywhere. Anxiety so bad I shake most of the time, chest pain and hard to breathe... This isn't living......

I'm too damaged to be helped, I have tried but no one will help me..... They just tell me its too complex and they are unable to help. I don't know what do do I have no support isolated, alone and scared....

1050 replies

331 - 340 of 1,050

1...33 34 35...105

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

peaceSenior Contributor28 Feb 2015, 9:00 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

@hiddenite I agree with what you say about it not being fair being dismissed from the MHU due to a limited number of beds. Sorry this has happened. Hang in there hopefully it won't be long. Try not to take it personally.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor28 Feb 2015, 9:24 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hey Nik
no beds the cat team rang they were shocked that I was allowed to go home.
My only option would be to go to ed and wait. The other day I waited 20 hours for a bed in the mhu and I was brought in by ambulance.
I just don't see the point.
I was taken off three different meds at one time. The new meds are supposed to be gradually increased but ive been put on a high dose of three new ones all at the same time.
The side effects are challenging and debilitating.
All while managing the ptsd.
I was told it the worse case they have seen. So why will no one help me.
I feel abandoned. I was told that the way I have been treated is causing me to deteriorate.
I shouldn't have to rely on lifeline. ..suicide callback to get through every day because the help I need isnt available.
I feel out of options

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Feb 2015, 9:33 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

That's horrible and not fair that you have to endure that.

You're right, you shouldn't have to rely on LL and SCB - but please don't let that stop you using them. That's what they are there for.

It sounds like you have some people on your side that empathise with you and of course, we are here.

Would it be helpful to make an appointment tomorrow with your GP? It seems like you have a good relationship with him/her.

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor28 Feb 2015, 9:50 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

He says that he is not experienced enough with ptsd he wants me in the mhu.
mhu says they do not specialize in ptsd of this severity.
Cat team said I don't live in the catchment area for the repatriation hospital. They will not take me.
I have fought
I have exhausted options
Just don't know anymore

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Feb 2015, 10:00 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

My understanding is that the Dr who prescribed your medication must be accessible, especially for situations like this where medication is having a negative side effect. It's really important that you continue to be vocal about this.

It just takes one doctor, one nurse or one health care professional to make a difference. So don't ever give up hope.

It is exhausting, I know. Let yourself rest, practice your mindfulness, distractions and the usual things you use. Be kind to yourself, let yourself build your strength again.

If that doesn't work - Lifeline and Suicide call back service are there for you.

Will you do that?

I admire your resilience which I have witnessed through your posts.

Stay safe

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

PeppiPattySenior Contributor28 Feb 2015, 10:12 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Dearest @hiddenite

Hi I read your last message but not going online again tonight

All advise I write is not from a professional .... I'm just another 47 year old finding my own type of support.

I urge you to find the best help for you. It might be ed....
Can you think that right now ;

this is the worst it's going to get. You, only you can go somewhere or call someone for it to get better. what would it be.

Calling lifeline.
Calling hospital to tell them your coming in.

Positives :
daughters.
Home
Tomorrow
Sun
Balance.
Sane forums.
Being brave
Sharing on sane forums... ( amazing )

Ille write in tomorrow and say hi

From

Anne

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

NikNikSenior Contributor01 Mar 2015, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Hiddenite,

Sometimes when going through crisis or an intense tough time, members use the forums in a different way to look after themselves.

I know a couple of members who avoid certain threads they know will be triggering, and focus on the threads in 'Enjoying time with others' and 'Looking after our wellbeing' & use these discussions as distractions

Some go out of their way to write supportive posts to others because it gives them a bit of a boost.

While some take some time away from the forums to look after themselves and gather their strength.

I'd be keen to hear from other members (eg: @kato , @kristin , @kenny , @justanother47yr , @Ellie , @Chris ) how they use the forums to enhance their wellbeing when they aren't travelling so well.

Hiddenite, I'm not sure if you're online tonight, but I hope the suggestions from other members will help you get the most out of the forums.

Take care,

Nik

In response to: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

hiddeniteSenior Contributor01 Mar 2015, 8:01 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Nik
im here I find it too difficult to read other posts and worry that if I contribute I will upset someone or say something stupid.
I would love to find out how other members manage flashbacks anxiety and triggers. Also the darkness that comes with it. What has helped people with ptsd. I am unable to see that it can ever get better.

Find it hard to concentrate hyper vigalent easily confused. Anxiety chest pain hard to breathe shaking and the intense need to isolate myself. So difficult to contribute.
What a mess
sorry not even sure if I am making sense.

Thanks Anne and Nik
karen

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

NikNikSenior Contributor01 Mar 2015, 8:40 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Hiddenite,

Your post makes sense.

My suggestion would be to start a new thread, like this one, but asking your specific question about managing flashbacks and triggers. You could simply copy & paste the paragraph you wrote above:
'I would love to find out how other members manage flashbacks anxiety and triggers. Also the darkness that comes with it. What has helped people with ptsd. I am unable to see that it can ever get better'

Your chest pains and the issues you're having with breathing are very concerning. Perhaps if you call 000 and go in an ambulance, they will admit you for your physical symptoms, which will be helpful if mhu still has no beds.

Is that something you'd be willing to try?

In response to: Re: Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

kristinSenior Contributor01 Mar 2015, 8:48 pm AEDT

Re: Despair potential trigger: abuse

Hi Karen,

I am so sorry you are suffering like this. It is just so damn unfair!

So when I'm unwell:

Sometimes I read threads of other's posts, especially ones I know are unlikely to be triggering

If I feel up to it I might post a reply if I feel like it, or just clicking "Like" is another way of expressing encouragement for the person posting

When I am very distressed I will do a huge "blurt" on the page and do a really long post about what's happening or how I'm feeling

If I am getting too manic I will back off from the forums for a while and not post or even come on the forum much - just read my daily digest (which I read when I wake up in the morning as an encouragement for my day)

I walk along the river or sit on "my" log, and if it's not too cool I paddle my feet in it - I find that's great for calming me when I am in hyper-arousal

When I am really struggling I tend to spend a lot of time playing a fairly old strategy computer game (so the graphics aren't too over-stimulating) which both serves as an effective distraction from my distress and also allows me to think in the background about what's going on and process it a bit that way. (I hope this makes sense?)

Sometimes when I am very distressed I find changing what I'm doing, or even my position whilst seated or standing, can make a surprisingly big difference in alleviating it

I hope these things are some help. I wish i could do more. Cyber hugs .

Hope for the healing sounds of the river endures...

Keep taking care of you my friend, you are doing incredibly well under horrendous circumstances which no one should be put through.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

331 - 340 of 1,050

1...33 34 35...105