Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

No so overwhelmed consumed by darkness just not managing, I cannot do this anymore, don't they see this is causing me more pain

Re traumatize me in the most brutal way for two hours and leave me to rot. I give up!!!!!

I know it's really tough for you Hiddenite, but try to remember what we were talking about before.

You ARE reaching out

You ARE walking

You ARE doing it

You ARE a beautiful person

You DO have friends

We DO care

We DO love you

This is sincere. These are the things you CAN believe. WE believe them, so YOU can too.

I know we have said it before, but please, Hiddenite, if you are feeling really helpless, PLEASE promise to call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Do you know why we all say hope endures?? Because it does. There is always hope. Keep posting OK?

Hobbit.

@hiddenite ,

I am going off shift now, but just a quick message to you to say please stay safe tonight. Remember all the positive things that have been said to you and about you on this forum, and know you have friends here.

We are all here for you, and will all be here for you again tomorrow.

Hobbit.

@hiddenite

Hi Karen,

Thinking of you my friend, on what is going to be another hot day. I hope you are somewhere cooler and have water with you at least.

I am wondering whether the CATT team rang you back last night?

How are you travelling today. This has been such a horrible roller coaster, you have managed to bring your hyper-arousal levels down repeatedly and I can see that their behaviour has contributed to it skyrocketing repeatedly.

I hope you got some sleep last night.

Hope for a journey of healing endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

Thanks Hobbit and Kristin,

No I haven't managed to get the hyper arousal symptoms down. I walked 10 km on the trail, mindfulness, broke my day into hours, used my senses, and breathing meditation. It's no use

The Cat team finally rang 24 hours after they said they would. Its a wonder they bothered, told me I have to go back to the MHU Saturday.

Its brought me to my knees. I can't go back there, no options, so tortured and distressed. How can they send me back to a place that has already told me they are unable to help, re traumatizes me.

No one listens, I hurt so much, its doesn't make any difference I get hurt whatever happens.

So broken

Karen

Oh Karen I so wish I could help you more.

You know it's reading through your posts from the start where I see you have managed to bring things down at times, only to be re-triggered. I think you are doing so amazingly in the circumstances.

I'm having to face up to DV issues in my own home (emotional abuse mostly) and really struggling. This is really not good enough of the CATT team! Do you have any other MH support?

Sending hugs and prayers your way my friend.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

Hi Kristin

I'm so sorry that you are subject to dv. I feel emotional abuse has the potential to be worse than violence.

Just distroys any self worth and the ability to leave.

Please remember you are a kind, considerate, wonderful person. You deserve to be treated with respect, and nothing less. Please stay strong I believe in you,you deserve nothing but the best. Please remember that you are not responsible for his actions.

Sending you big hugs,

Hope the weekend you can do something nice for yourself.

My thoughts and best wishes go to you

Take care

Karen

Hi Karen,

It's amazing that you are so compassionate, kind and supportive, even while you're going through your own difficulties. That is testament to your character. I read in your posts from earlier this week and saw that you want to be a kindy teacher. Based on the compassion and kindness you have shown, you would make an awesome teacher.

I use to be a primary school teacher myself, I loved teaching kindy! I hope one day you pursue your dream, whether that be as a teacher or the other careers you mentioned.

Nik

Thanks Nik

I hope your week has been ok.

Something I would love to do, one day.

Do you still teach.

I've been online to suicide callback, helped a little. Still going to be a long night.

Thanks for your support and have a good weekend

Take care

Karen