Despair *potential trigger: abuse*

Hey CB

Thanks for sharing....

I'm really dark ATM overwhelmed not in a good place

Sorry

That's ok @hiddenite

just write when you're ready too. We're always here for you.

Remember if you feel like everything is too much and that you're at risk of harming yourself contact the CAT Team, Lifeline or Suicide Call Back Service or 000.

Sending you cuddles.

Stay safe.

CherryBomb

Hey @hiddenite

I'm so sorry it's feeling so overwhelming for you. Whilst I don't like that you're feeling thisway I know from experience that it can really help to be able to tell someone else who cares when we are. So I'm glad you've let us know. Well done for speaking out you pain.

Is there anything we can do to help you? Would it helpyou to talk about something in particular? Do some songs or types of music help you feel calmer?

Kindest regards,

Kristin

Dear @hiddenite

One of my favourite poems in the world and one that has brought me great solace when I have been in very dark times is a poem called Footprints. Do you know it?

Footprints

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you."

I hope this might be of some help to you. I have had a few times in recent years when I thought I would collapse from the terrible emotional, psychological and physical strain I was under - I didn't know how i would get through. Yet somehow I found I was getting through. I asked "how am I doing this?" and the answer? I wasn't - I was being carried. I knew that I still needed to work as much as I could to find a way out of my terrible situation, but I would be held through it. I pray you might have a "footprints" experience of being held and carried in the midst of this now. This too will pass.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

So beautiful, very special...

I'm shaking so much hard to type

Feel like I'm crawling in my own skin

I don't know what is happen to me

Really scared

I don't have the words but thank you

I'm worried about you @hiddenite

Where are you? Are you able to contact some of the services that I mentioned earlier?

I live in the bush near a river too @hiddenite .

My house is quite large because I have three children. It is anything but beautiful, in fact it's pretty messy at the moment! It needs lots of work - that was the only reason I could afford to buy it. Not much has got done because there's been so much "STUFF" happening in the 3 years we've been here. But it is ours, and it backs onto the Yarra River. Sadly the block is long and narrow so the neighbours are very close (and one lot are pretty horrid).

When I am struggling I go down to the river and sit and listen to the sounds of the water and creatures. I find it very soothing. Often if it's not too cold I'll put my feet in the river. It helps to calm me. Being near the river has been an incredible gift.

It sounds like where you lived was quite remote, no mains water or sewage. It sounds very beautiful. You must miss it.

Take care of you please.

We are all holding hope for you because, even when we can't hold hope ourselves, hope endures...

Kindest regards,

Kristin

I sit by the river in Warburton

-

Small world, I wish I had a home, you are very lucky its so beautiful, I go there most days either bush or by the river