Friday Coffee and Chat -- 8th August 2025

Dear @Shaz51

I'v always adopted older rescue dogs but this time our little poodle shitzu is been with us since 9 weeks old.

He is different in that he's an attention seeker esp. to my knickers Drawer.

Lol

@Cuddlebear @Ainjoule @NightFury @Glisten Re: Best Friends Club @ENKELI @TAB @

My darling @Cuddlebear

I'v been very confronted with the power of empathy lately. When I was going through a particularly difficult time, I found this meditation helped if your interested with compassion. For you.

We are all running around with this inner critic ---

This meditation helped with starting to look at mine.

I don't know if it would help you but when I started I couldn't listen to the whole lot. It was just too hard for years.

https://youtu.be/15q-N-_kkrU?si=q5UAlfXkeIarG9zo

@PeppyPatti How are you? I had a giggle about fur baby stealing the nickers and likely enjoying laying on them? My cat likes to sleep on my bra lol and sometimes drags it onto the bed to do that. They can be very funny.

I was just reading your post re public housing and the awful behaviour of some of the volunteers. I’m really sorry you all have had to go through that type of triggering and emotional roller coaster.

I am on priority waiting list for public housing. We have public housing units opposite our rental here. They are not like in an estate just single dwellings on their own property and are 2 or 3 bedroom. They are amongst rentals and privately owned homes. I’m friends with some families they are wonderful people and we enjoy a cuppa together every now and then.

Sounds like a win @PeppyPatti

I love that you're taking her out for dinner tonight. I hope you have a fantastic night.

@PeppyPatti Thank you so much for the kind words, empathy and understanding.

I have just saved the link on my YouTube so I can give it a go. Yes we sure are running around with an inner critic and I am desperate for relief from it. I am lucky to have found meditation helpful and really appreciate your recommendation. There are so many online meditations and it is hard to know which I should try. I also use an app called Smiling Mind which is made in Australia, it is free and has no advertisements. It gets updated with new meditations and also comes with some self care type of activities.

Dearest @Cuddlebear actually Peanut tries to knaw on my bras and knickers. It's funny and he brings in so much joy !!

i don't think the public housing is a win. This " volunteer," is telephoning very stigmatised people here crying about the letter ( her name wasn't even in it )

And causing that vicious retaliation thing.

The problem is for her is that iv had years of therapy on people like her as my mother has the same personality defect. The volunteer, She just makes me laugh and I can stay present and push for the lady who lives here for her rent to be paid.

What's really funny is that less and less people are turning up at the belligerent volunteer woman's meetings. I'm just going to sit back, do nothing but support the lady who lives here.

@Shaz51 @NightFury @Ainjoule @Glisten @ENKELI @Glisten @TAB @Bill16 dating dillema @Dimity

@PeppyPatti Peanut is very cute and funny with his fondled for your bras and nickers. He loves the smell of his mum lol! I wish I could speak dog so I can understand what they’re thinking lol. They are beautiful they bring us unconditional love and some very big chuckles.

The “volunteers” actions are awful and the retaliation the “volunteer” engages in is bullying and it’s just not OK. It is even worse when people like that target you where you live and where you should feel safe and happy. I am really glad you can see right through those types of character and it is honestly very kind and loving to support the lady the “volunteer” targets. I’m hoping those meetings dwindle to nothing and that they cease to behave as they are. Was the MP at all helpful?

Yeah........Even through my early 20s, I used to clean houses to pay for therapy. I don't think it was any good, but I guess it shaved the edge off the factitious smile I put on for the world.

I guess--- it assisted in breaking down my defences.

The volunteer woman she's HERE in my head. But not bagging me. She's nothing compared to my mother who worked and helped run universities in America.

I can see the trauma she gave my oldest brother. Incredible. He is actually running a university over east and whenever she talks to him. He cares more for his daughter. His daughter is 15. He does things like if she is bullied he pulls her out of school and changes the school or changes her class if she doesn't like the teacher.....

I dunno @Cuddlebear you manage your life well if you only two more years to wait. Can you push a little bit more by making an appointment with the governmental leader in your area ?

Remember to speak like your in the worst day you manage. Don't be flippant -

You are special and give joy.

@Shaz51 Re: NAIDOC WEEK TOPIC #2 @NightFury @Ainjoule @Glisten @ENKELI @Determined

I think @Cuddlebear ----

Yes it did trigger me originally because I never wrote her name down when I wrote the original letter To the member of parliament.

I repeatedly said to him that the Lady ( and myself ) are extremely vulnerable.

Well the member of parliament called in the volunteer I complained about. And she, the other volunteer went in too !!

The men. Of parliament -

He originally sounded like he wanted to help but it's all fallen back to nothing. I then ......fell on my LAP .....somehow, Im still a bit astonished -- contacted another good volunteer who told me he's the head volunteer and he got involved. Well the shit hit the fan even more.

She started Calling people who live here bandying my name. These people are very vulnerable. She's sobbing saying I'm attacking her ( ??)

Lol I don't care.

I'v been learning to cleanse inside my head.

That meditation I sent you is now used by my psychotherapist but I could only listen to about 5 mins per week for a very long time.

Nothing changes quickly.....

It's like, after accepting support - after addressing the inner critic ---- it's very very slowly changing.

It reminds me of that comic of two Buddha's talking.

First Buddha - what happens next ?

Second Buddha - nothing

@PeppyPatti It sounds to me like your mother has caused your brother and you a lot of trauma. I know it is hard to live with traumas and that it is also hard to access quality therapy too. I really like how your brother is showing understanding and compassion towards his teenage daughter. People with University degrees can think they are something special and can be nasty to their children and cause harm. They’re no different to anyone else but get special treatment sometimes by society. You are such a compassionate and loving person. I can tell you are someone who is a true friend by how you are here and how you support the lady who is being bullied.

I’m glad you have been able to get some benefit when you were seeing a therapist. I’ve also had some benefit but unfortunately not enough to live with minimal trauma symptoms.

It sounds like you have been able to reduce the impact of the “volunteer” because of the lived experience of your mother. Anyone in the situation would be affected because these people are nasty and relentless and can be narcissistic.

I’ve been on public housing waiting list on priority since January 2023. I’m currently pushing really hard to be offered a property. I’ve seen local MP multiple times in past 2 months and also contacted Housing Minister in my State. I’ve been regularly calling Department Housing and social worker has been advocating for me the past few weeks and put support letter in writing on Friday. I’m going to keep pushing pushing pushing because really need the public housing. Private rental is inaccessible, unstable and way too expensive even for the “cheaper” places. I’m on disability pension.

I understand about fictitious smile as I’ve done it since childhood to mask. Didn’t even realise until I was an adult. Now I don’t even know who I really am but all that masking has led to feeling pretty awful now. Do you have a similar experience?