@Cuddlebear always lovely to hear from you *hug*. I am glad that my taper so far seems to be going well, not much more than a little bit of light headedness occasionally - but nothing causing a problem. I wish yours was as painless as mine.
I'm not sure yet what techniques the counsellor uses for trauma. I expect she probably has lot of different things and picks what it best for the client? She doesnt do emdr though, or she would advertise it specifically i think. But she has worked as a trauma counsellor at crisis centres in the past, for example.
Often in the past my counsellors and psychologists havent said "this is xxx therapy" - theyve just taught me skills or done guided things based on what they think will help. So often i dont know the name of the techniques until someone mentions one and i read about it and realise "oh, thats what xxx did with me". I like this approach though, because they pick and choose from a big toolbox based on what the repair job needs!
It is possible it might help improve the baseline by helping me reconnect to emotions, especially the abiity to feel positive ones. That what i/we hope.
I got a call yesterday from the peer worker, and scheduled the first meeting next week to do paperwork and goals, etc. Then there is 6-8 sessions of 1hr (weekly).
The chemist is a great idea for blood pressure checking. I didnt think of that! I am going to keep that in mind as that will be handy if i am concerned about it. Saw my gp yesterday and got him to measure it. It was still above good range, but he doesnt seem to be concerned. Which is... questionable because i know in the past he has taken it and commented that it is a bit high. I'm not worried about it though. But will get the MH GP opinion via "when i get distressed, my BP goes up to..." and she is she has any concern or not.
When i saw my GP yesterday he didnt ask how my taper is going - i dont think he remembered. And i forgot to mention that is seems to be going ok 😅. He also did not mention or ask about the ED visit (he got the discharge summary, he new what i was referring to when i said i wanted to check my BP because of the readings that morning). This type of thing is why I am going to see a MH GP because he really doesnt talk about MH. I was there for a work certificate and my trial referral - both MH related 100%.
I did a good thing for myself today, i hope.
@Cuddlebear @tyme @MissGremlin @Chasingsunsets. @AuntGlow @Jynx @Flutterbug9 (because people like hearing the good stuff, right?)
After getting my tests done (medical checks for the trial) i went to the medicare MH centre up the road to check with them about services - their website says there is a 6wk peer support group for social. So i waited around to then do an intake assessment with them (i did one 18mths ago, but didnt have any helpful referrals out of it). They promise that they will get back to me in 1-2 days with suggested referrals and then check back to make sure the referrals were helpful / in-place, and if not then try to help/find other suitable ones. But as you say - sometimes what is needed just doesnt exist - and what then?
But i will let them worry about that, right? I've said i'm focused on support that will assist me getting to April with more support / better 'quality of life'. Making things a bit easier in the interim in the focus. Since most depression supports are only short-term or medium-term, hopefully there will be something (or a series of things) that can be setup, even if its just social connection face to face during the day. The type of stuff i guess i also wish for you @Cuddlebear .
So despite my popr experience 18mth ago with the service, i have tried again. Never know maybe new thing available now in the area - they're the place meant to know of all the options.
Oh and they did a safety plan with me. Its just what i already do, but i guess its written down now (ive never had a problem with recalling what my options for helping myself are though, but if it makes others happy to know its written down in case i forget whilst in distress thats fine. Maybe il add phone numbers of the people onto my personal copy so that i can always hand it to someone and point to a number if i would like help calling someone... dont need to search mobie phone for it).
I am interested to know how you find the recovery club @Cuddlebear (or anyone else reading who has done it) - what are the most helpful parts that you found?
My struggle in knowing if it would be a good "extra support" for me or not during this current time is because i know all the psych theory, i already practice the self-talk & reframing, etc etc... but the peer connection aspect of the groups is i guess what i might find helpful - even if its just listening to others, takes me out of myself for awhile. 🤔
So i am curious to hear what are the most beneficial aspects different people find. I still have the copy of the book which i read through 😉. Maybe i should look at that again and see if anything in its topics jumps out at me now.
@tyme the problem with the mindspot Big 5 is that behavioural activation is not my problem. I can do things, but i don't feel better for them. Often i feel worse for them because then i feel tired. I have to *tell myself* intellectualy that is was "a good thing" - like with my study last week. I dont feel good/better from having unpacked the boxes. But i tell myself it was good to do it even though i dont currently use that room anyway. I just dont feel it inside.
Its the same with most things - cooking, exercise, showering, regular eating of nutrition, doing my painting, going out to social things... i tell myself they are good things to do. I dont feel better for it.
I feel better for having my remedial massage, chiro and counsellor appointments though. Less pain is always good.
Yes, there is 1 safe haven 30min drive from me (1.5-2hr by bus? $60 by Uber). But they are only open 5 evenings a week. And my MH doesnt only flair up during those hours. Thats how i ended up being referred to ED because it wasnt open and there are no other places to go. I have mentioned this to the Medicare MH people today as "what would help" is somewhere to go when the haven is closed - so if there is any little-know places hopefully they can refer me.
I realised something today. @AuntGlow may be interested. I think i am "feeling more" (distress) more often since finishing work a month ago (this is a week or 2 before reducing medication dosage, i note). I am a lot less tired - no longer continually exhausted. Which is good physically... but i think mentally this is contributing to my increased depression and thoughts. When i was exhausted, i was more disconnected to emotion because i was too tired to feel (until it got too bad and then yep those nights still happened), more apathetic. I notice i still get this way in the afternoon after a distressing morning - just before i can fall asleep after crying myself to fatigue. But now my brain not only has energy to think and feel... it also has time unoccupied mentally. The downside of being an intellectual and analytical brain is it is "always on" unless exhausted. Yes i can meditate/mindful rest, which i do when feeling stressed or angry, etc. But i do not enjoy it and i cannot spend a whole day in that state. Hence i try to do my painting, or go to coffee with friends, or support people on the forum -- keeps my brain a little active/distracted. But i have to be very careful with the physical energy though, because the fatigue has been such a trigger the past 12 months and if i go out to do things it really kicks in after. I do want/plan to start doing pool-based walking again, and i can do s short time as i need to start with. But it is a big effort for me to go there, swimmers, wet, shower, dry, go home, wash swimmers... it is exhausting. And i dont feel mentally better for it. But i know it is good for my knees and lower back pain, because i did it in the past.
I just remembered my Auslan online study access opened today. So i can absorb myself into that now which will help having 1 more thing to do. Sorry guys, means i will be on forum less though 😅 until i get bored of it or finish it (it is self-paced within the timeframes of each term/module). I usually complete work/study a lot faster than most. I did about 70% of a 1-year diploma in 3 months once 😅 - whilst still having a lot of social things and working 1 day/wk lol. So im not worried about keeping up with the workload for it lol.
Ok, im gonna head home (friends finished coffee), and try to remember to login to the coursework after i feel my pups. They will be hungry because i usually have fed them 30min ago
