@Blackcloud @Flutterbug9 @Cuddlebear @MissGremlin @Chasingsunsets
I'm sorry you've all got different stressors/challenges going on at the moment 😢. I hear you all. I hope things do improve over time - whether it be (depending on which your own circumstances) due to upcoming medical, increased supports, or external stressors (like assessments). You are all lovely people who are doing your best, and should be proud of your efforts even if its hard (especially proud when its hard?) and may not feel "enough" at times.
I'm glad you all take the time you need to be offline or online, whatever is best for you at any moment.
@Flutterbug9 5 weeks - i hope it passes fast (in a good way) and the infusion provides relief again.
Does your pain often flair up worse with the onset of winter / colder temperatures?
@MissGremlin i really hope you hear back soon. Ive had many services fail to contact in return over the years, and i find it so hard to know if i should contact them or not. Turns out most of the time it would have been better to because they had forgotten or somehow missed my email, and without me following up it would not have been realised. Its so hard to know how long to wait before contacting though; i've been learning and trying to remember to ask places for "expected timeframe" so i know when it is OK for me to follow-up.
@Blackcloud let me know how you go in Task 1. 🙂 all you *need* is a pass mark, right? Even if you'd *like* a higher grade?
If for some reason you didnt pass, do you just resit?
I actually have a partial-resit of an assessment on Friday afternoon this week. Just one part of a practical assessment that i didnt cover properly. Thankfully i only have to demonstrate the one missing skill - not the whole 20 different skills again! Sharing this as encouragement for you that its totally OK to not be perfect or even to have to redo an assessment 😊.
@Chasingsunsets i totally hear you on how much easier it would be to send an email/sms or a phone call or cafe! I feel it too, and with others here too. Although i'll be honest - email wouldnt be effective for me lately either lol i have too many! But yeah, SMS/messages/calls i've been able to keep up with (even if a day delayed at times).
Its nice having some social contact in the residential i'm currently at, but it can also be exhausting and noisy. And thats on top of the program sessions and my appointments too. Hence I'm rarely online. But I've come on breifly to read everyone's updates here and give a short update. But my brain isnt great at memory right now, so please do forgive me if i forget to respond about something - and not take it as a personal or deliberate thing.
@Cuddlebear i wish i knew what to say. My heart breaks for you hun. I wish i could sit there with you in your panic attacks. I wish i could help calm you and then lead your mind away to something non-distressing. I am curious what you think of @Jynx suggestion about focusing on a calming/pleasant memory. I wonder if Guided Imagery of your own comfortable calming memory could help at all?
For me, i used to like imagining a wood cabin in a snowy forest. That was a calming and warm mental image for me. With a wood log fireplace.
I saw the pdoc again today, and by chance they got the delivery of the meds whilst i was there. Who knows whats inside! Schroedringers drugs? 😆
I learned a little more about how the room will be laid out, discussed the sensory (light, music and physical pain) aspects, items i plan to bring (cushion, blanket, food, drink, my own headphones). I will be mostly laying down (unless i choose to sit more upright). Incidentally heard a few more funny stories 🤭 not all of which were meant to be funny (some were meant to just be "this can happen... please be aware. And if it does, this is what we do...").
I am looking forward to the dosing experience next week. But there is still just so much "i have no idea what to expect" partly because we wont know which medication i will have, but also partly because people all react individually to them so that cant be too predicted either. I'm not worried about it at all, just that i like to be planned and prepared. I am as prepared as i can be, and i'm not worried. I trust both the therapists fully and feel comfortable with them (even when my quirks are raised by either myself or them, which they accept/celebrate but i still feel a bit "odd" for - even if not negative).
It was nice to hear the pdoc acknowledge that he is really encouraged and assured by my existing contemplative style and experience, because apparently that makes things easier and more likely to go smoothly regardless of which medication i get.
I also felt really grateful that he took on board my feedback about the body-scan exercise we did today, and how doing it makes me acutely aware of the physical pain throughout my body. As opposed to just breathing exercises which still allow me to focus on breathing which isnt a pain senstation. He agreed that the body scan isnt the right things for me for grounding, and instead will do breathing and external mindfulness. When doing some of the external-mindfulness grounding practice today it was amusing because as soon as he said to notice the lack of noise in the room a trolley rolled past very loudly and then a loud coffee-steamer screached 😅. Timing was perfect as it had previously been quiet when he said it, until he said it. Small jokes/humour build rapport too.
I feel very lucky to have been paired with this pdoc and secondary therapist. And they also seem to really like working as a team too, which i think is really important too because i see them interact and it makes me feel comfortable. Actually a few other health professionals i 've met now have worked with or know the pdoc and all have instantly spoken well of him when i've mentioned his name. He doesnt seem to have any ego/status "issues" and is really casual/informal (but professional & boundaried). Very authentic, which is important to me - I think that's why i warmed up to them both quite quickly in the first meet.
In other news, i submitted my DSP application and my phone call with centrelink is tomorrow morning. I have no idea what that involves as it doesnt tell me - just says i have to book one. Given the length of my evidence file, i know it wont have been reviewed at all and they couldnt possibly even do so properly in the phone call timeframe. So i can only assume its more of a "lets check everything has been submitted, and then discuss the next steps/process".
My final piece of paper evidence for it (which is optional for DSP but essential for NDIS) is still to come, but that is my ASD+ADHD assessment report, which i have an appointment for on Friday. And i have also booked my NDIS LAC appointment for a few weeks time to kick off the application process with them (hoping my report will be ready by then or else by the second appointment, which they said is fine if not by the first one). My 3 GPs are all very confident i will get DSP. And my new GP and LAC both sound quite confident i should get NDIS accepted too (but unknown of course what amount of funding - we havent discussed that at all) because of the autism and severe MH impacts. And then my physical disabilities may be accepted also as additional secondaries. I will learn a lot more when i meet with the LAC.
Im glad the last week has been a lot less busy in terms of appointments and DSP/NDIS preparations. I wasnt coping well with it all, on top of the other frustrstions and stress of other adhoc life admin demands. Im still not great in my mind thoughts, but i'm not having high-distress meltdowns every few days anymore.
