Need to vent pls

Hey @BlueBay ,

Thank you for popping by and sharing what's been going on for you. It takes a lot of courage to do this, especially when things are so so hard.

I'm sorry to hear that this is still going on. Would you call it elder abuse? Then again, I vaguely remember you mentioning your dad doesn't really stand up for himself - is that still the case?

Hugs @BlueBay . I hear how hurt you are and that after all these years, you are continuing to 'pay for' something you did NOT ask for.

Are there others who can support you to see your dad? I mean, other relatives who can take him or you to meet at a cafe or something?

Sitting with you.

You've often shared how much you love your dad and what he means to you. If you write down what you want to say to him, does that help ease things a little?

hi @tyme thanks for your reply and support xxx

there are no family members who will step in to help me see my dad.

my sister (the only sibling i talk to) won't get involved

yes my psych has mentioned elder abuse to me before; i can't do anything because she is too strong and then i will pay for that big time

i can't do anything; i am so stuck

i have written letters to him before but it doesn't really help much. i end up too upset.

i have 3 cards for him in my drawer - 2 birthday's and one fathers day.

as you know if i was to post them my mum would post them back and prob my dad wouldn't even know

its such a horrible place to be in - not able to see someone that you dearly love

I’m not good today

woke up crying mess

was meant to go to the gym but didn’t

aw no, i'm so sorry to hear that @BlueBay gyms been a hard one for me to attend too. is there maybe an alternative to gym that you can look into for today? i think i recall you mentioned that you liked walking by the beach? 💙

hi @rav3n

i ended up driving to get petrol and then my daughter called to meet her and my granddaughter at the local pool. they then came back to my place and have just left.

getting dinner ready - chicken and veggies roasted

Hey @BlueBay ,

I just saw your posts. Sorry to hear that things are so hard.

Is there something we can do to make things a little lighter for you at the moment?

I don’t know @tyme

It’s really difficult to sit with something that is so difficult (my dad)

I’m sitting now trying to crochet

this keeps me calm for a while

do you know the hardest time of the day is when I go to bed. It’s all quiet and my mind wanders to my dad; how my mum is treating me; it just keeps going.
think tonight I’ll take something to help me sleep

Rumination? @BlueBay

Have you done much work around tackling rumination? I can certainly relate to rumination.

I'm glad to hear that crocheting keeps you calm.

Have you seen Little A these school holidays?

@tyme

I’m seeing little A either tomorrow or Friday.

rumination is terrible - I can go from thinking of my dad to what should I cook for dinner the next day to then flashbacks of certain things.

No I don’t think I’ve done work in this.

That's nice. I'm sure Little A loves you so much! Nonna's spag and lasagne! @BlueBay

As for the therapeutic work, that's what worked for me. The fact that you are cooking and your mind takes you back to those thoughts, sorta tells me that these thoughts are quite 'ingrained'. I'm not sure what other word to use. And I think targeted therapy will be able working with these thoughts.

Take your time though. I'm mindful there's a lot going on for you and you need to be ready.

Hugs @BlueBay .

Thank you for sharing with us and trusting us to be part of your life.