How to challenge your negative thoughts

hi @rav3n

no i am not going to reply. I feel that if she looks back she will see that there were times where she was no help at all!! i would walk out either feeling angry, overwhelmed, confused and annoyed. The last few sessions she would recommend certain brands of vitamins, probiotics, drinks etc. that's not what i pay her for!! she even told me that my gastroenterologist who she also knows is 'not that great' - so that left me feeling confused, i was starting to doubt my specialist because she said so.

today i had an english breakfast tea and my daughter had hot choc and we shared a custard pastry. it was so yum. we talked for a while then went to the butcher store to buy some meat for the fortnight, coles and home again.

my daughter has a teacher interview this afternoon for my little A. i am excited to hear all about her teachers comments. i usually face time call her at 4pm so i can chat to little A and she tells me all about her day at school and who she played with and what subjects she had today.

i can't remember if i told you but next week little A is staying with me for 4 days while her mum and step dad go away to Sydney for a mini break. this is the first time she is staying with me for this length of time. she is excited because she thinks she is getting 'a day off school' but i don't think she will!! we'll see ha ha . i ned to be super organised next week as i have to drive 30 mins to her school morning and afternoon. big trips. i did promise her that we would take her out for dinner one night and my son said he will join us. He loves seeing little A and she has him wrapped out her little finger. as she does with her other uncle!!

today i started my new med, am hoping there will be no side effects. oh and i almost forgot - i walked with my friend this morning at 7.30am when it was -3 deg!!! we walked to our local cafe and had a nice warm coffee. how silly are we to go so early and cold. oh well it was nice and a good stretch for my sore back.

need to go now, back later to let you know how little A's day went and teacher interview.

oh it will be nice for you to catch up with your friend before she leaves for o/s. how exciting but i am sure you will miss her.

chat soon xx

@AuntGlow @tyme

Awwww @BlueBay ! HOW exciting! I'm sure Nonna will SPOIL Little A!

No wonder she is excited.

Arghhhh...school traffic is horrible! I have to leave an hour early to get a parking spot to pick up the kids. If I don't leave early, then I'm late.

When i pick up the kids, I always bring them a treat and they get so excited when they see me. I get lotsa hugs!

Enjoy your time! I look forward to hearing how the stay goes!

Awww my sister @BlueBay 🥰

Thanks for your update

Aww little A xxxx

Enjoy my friend 🧡

Hi @BlueBay!! How are you this week?

It really does sound like you made the best decision for you. It's so important to have your care team on the same page, and your new psychologist sounds like a much better fit. Such a brave move by you. 😍

How is EMDR feeling? I know it can be a lot at first, but I have heard that it's so incredibly helpful.

Coffee with your daughter sounds like it was lovely. How is she?

Also, work and a sore back - I hear you! Have you been taking care of your body after work?

I am well, thank you for asking. I know you sent this last week, I am so sorry for my delay! Today I went couch hunting with my housemate and caught up with some friends I met in Europe a few years ago. Very wholesome!

Looking forward to hearing from you. 💛

hi @AuntGlow

sorry i didn't reply yesterday. I went to work and after 2 hours i started feeling sick. Ended up being quite sick and went home to bed. I have sore ribs from being sick yesterday and a bit sick still in the stomach. Just having very plain food and teas.

I have a feeling it was the milk at local cafe. i caught up with my daughter before work and it was an hour later that i started to feel sick.

this morning i saw my psych - few triggers this coming week with father's day on sunday. i bough my dad a card and wrote in it this morning in between sobbing. i have put it away with the other cards i haven't given him. it makes me so upset that i can't see him. he would be so proud of my kids with all their achievements but i can't share them with him. being having nightmares about my mum telling me i wouldn't like my fututre daughter in law - but in actual fact i love her so much and we get along really well.

on new meds atm - but my BP has gone quite high. my dr has increased meds and i am seeing him on thursday. but the way i feel at the moment i may see him earlier.

that was nice that you caught up with some friends; its always nice isn't it. this saturday i am catching up with some 'old workmates' but it is ALWAYS one person who does ALL the talking. its really frustrating.

my younger son got a pay increase which i am happy about. he has put so much work into his job that i am glad he has been rewarded.

my older son has three interviews - to be a detective (i am so very proud of my son) but very very scared of his job at the same time

my daughter is on the road to hopefully fall pregnant soon with the help of a fertility clinic. its strange how you can have one child without any problems and now her second is taking a few years. i pray for her that she does fall pregnant. i know little A would be a fantastic helpful big sister.

any plans for the weekend? sunday my kids are coming over for lunch which i know its nice for hubby. but at the same time i feel so emotional because i don't know if this is the last father's day for my dad. his health isn't great and he is nearing 90. it's tearing me apart inside.

i have often thought 'do i go back to my parents to see my dad' but if i did that i would be taking mum's horrible behaviour; she would be manipulative and negative - i am not going thorugh that again. last year was bad as she completely ignored me when i went to visit with my hubby and younger son. she made every excuse to not be in the same room as me.

she is horrible.

hi to my friends @Shaz51 @tyme @rav3n and others reading on ...

I'm reading on @BlueBay !

Thanks for the update. I hope you are feeling better.

Your kids are so lucky to have you. I can see how proud of them you deserve to be 🙂

Oh, and you are the BEST Nonna EVER!

Aww @tyme 🙏🏻 thank you for your kind words.
yes I’m a very proud mum and extra proud of little A. They are my world.

hope you have a nice day. Xxx

We've been on your journey with you @BlueBay ... all these years.

We've seen your tears.

We've seen your triumphs.

We've been with you.

We are also so proud of you. Thank you for being here.

Thanks @tyme ❤️

Father’s Day is fast approaching and I’m not coping

I really miss my dad so much

so much to tell him about my kids

he would be proud

just a chat; just a hug; just to see him

😢😢😢

I’ve bought a card and wrote in it. Sealed it and put it away in my drawer together with all the other cards.

it’s so damn hard.

@AuntGlow @Shaz51 @rav3n

hugs to you @BlueBay 💙💙💙

i reckon he's thinking of you too. please do take extra care this weekend, be gentle with yourself.

also just read about how amazing your kiddos are doing, you must be so proud of them.