I am not doing so well

Goodnight @Zoe7

Goodnight @oceangirl

You sound pretty silly to me lol @Zoe7 . But at least your happY. You are right it would be a good workout for you to move that stuff back in the spare room lol.

I am silly - and happier - NOW GO TO SLEEP - big sis is putting her foot down!!!!!!!!

@oceangirl

I am not asleep quite yet @Zoe7. I am feeling sick in the stomach from those tablets. You should try and put your head on the pillow and just focus in on your breathing for a few mintues with hands on your stomach and then without hands on your stomach and then notice a spot in your body where the air enters (nose). You could do some counting of your breaths- one counts breathing in and two for out and count up to ten and repeat it. And then going back to noticing your breaths on your stomach.

Do you have anything with ginger in it - can sometimes help with feeling sick in the stomach. I'll head to bed in a little while - am starting to get a little tired - hopefully fall asleep quickly once I put my head on the pillow. I am going to log off now so you will too - hopefully your stomach settles down and you can sleep! Talk later.

Luv ya @oceangirl

Hello again @oceangirl

Thank you for your lovely words. It is true that I genuinely care for people and do feel loads of compassion for their struggles. But to be honest, at the same time if not respected or positive feedback is constantly rejected, I will just leave them to it. We all have to help ourselves or it goes round in circles.

I have a good understanding of mental health issues as I have had a life experience of struggling with them and overcoming (as you probably know from BB forum). I have been to hell and back and know through experience that there is always ways of overcoming and know what helped me to do this. And I share this in case it may be of possible help to others. that's my reason for being on forums for approx 7 yrs now. I have seen so many come and go - but this is good because it usually means they are feeling better. I never become attached.

And like anyone I can have my bad days too where I feel unappreciated (except for hubby who does), and wonder why I bother and feel disconnected from others, alone. Now that is probably left over scars from my past, so I just push through them somehow. Tomorrow is another day.

The anxiety you are experiencing is horrid, I know, and is no joke. If it is the same anxiety that I experienced in the past. That's all I can go by. And could get worse if not treated properly at the root cause. If it's mainly menopausal it could pass in time if you can put up with it. I could not - mine then was too severe. I have virtually no anxiety now, just the normal when faced with adversity, thank goodness. But I remember how debilitating it was. Your stomach ills could very well be due to anxiety. It can take a real toll on the body as well.

I also know the pitfalls and don't like to see others suffer this way and go backwards mentally. If there is a will my friend, there is always a way. The easy way will never get us there - it takes determination, knowledge, faith, hope, healthy/positive thinking and lifestyle, belief in ourselves, the right treatments that doesnt incur addiction and life long dependency, trust, and not giving up. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy I have learned. It's hard work and consistency. It's doing the right thing by self and others. We also need the genuine friendship/relations/love of others to keep us going at times I have found in my personal life. Going it alone is tough. So important not to shut this out.

Listening to the right people is also important I have learned, as otherwise it becomes a situation of "blind leading the blind". So getting the right help is important.

And loneliness can add to the anxiety and a leading cause of depression. How Is your face to face socialising going? Are you feeling satisfied that your needs are met this way? This is so important.

Thank you for filling me in with the AEP course you would like to do. I can understand why you would like to do it - it is really "you". I wouldn't be swayed by anyone my friend but listen to your inner gut feelings. Peruse the questions in my last post and then make a decision of your own making. I loved how you stated "you love seeing the spark come back into people's eyes when they exercise". That would seal the deal for me - you have their best interests at heart and also doing something you love. And as you said you could always start your own business. You are born for this my friend - you just need to believe in yourself.

Glad to read that the visit with your mother went well. How is her condition?

I had a good night sleep for once - I have been trying to get my body clock back in order for awhile now as you probably know. The worse thing for anxiety/depression is to throw out the body chemistry/clock with late nights and varying sleep patterns that are all over the place. So I am in the process of trying to get back in a routine and become fitter. The busier I am during the day the better the sleep pattern. Wish me luck.

I hope you enjoy your day and that all works out for you with study and your anxiety. Follow your heart and never compromise your values, what you believe in a d go for it. Believe in you dear @oceangirl

Hi again @Former-Member

I'm just been reading your post now. I know of your struggles and how much it has impacted you. I have always taken the road that is best for me long term and never taken the easy option. You just have to keep on trying and the best medicine is sleep, exercise, fresh air, water, diet and rest. When I have struggled I go back to basics to ground myself and I find that works for me.

I am hoping you can get your sleep pattern & body clock back in sync more, it does lift ones spirits and seems to really energize you when your body clock is back in sync. I find getting the morning sun helps with resetting the body clock.

We all have our bad days and we just have to try and put it behind us and move forward. I think being unappreciated for a long time can lead to depression. Its important to surround ourselves with people that appreciate us and want us to succeed in life.

I have no intention to take the medication/script she gave me on Friday and will be returning it to her because I don't want her to think it is an option for me. I think it will make it clear to her where my boundaries lay and I am not going to cross them for anyone. I am taking care of me and my well being.

My mum's condition is long term but she is doing well. I think she will be out of hospital next week sometime. I probably will not see her now until she comes home unless I see her Monday evening after my volunteer shift.

I hope you get your sleep back in sync because its probably one of the first signs that a relapse of depression might happen, I know with me I am getting more susceptible to my depression at that stage- try to get some morning sun it will make you feel more relaxed and vitamin D is good for your health.

Hope you have a good weekend. Look after yourself @Former-Member

Hi @oceangirl

Thank you for the uplifting post. I really think you are on to something there that I missed....In my last years blood test I was vitamin D deficient - and I haven't been getting any morning sun for awhile (been working indoors). Thank you! Could be the explaination to why my health has declined somewhat! First thing in the morning I will be outdoors! And hopefully then my body clock will readjust. That's all I need to achieve to get back on top of things now.

I am surrounded by people who love and appreciate me. I would immediately move away from anything else - even my own daughter when she is a loose canon. Angry people I run from (it's so ugly). Those feelings of feeling unappreciated can come back to haunt me (childhood scars) when I am physically run down (weak body, weakened mind). The above should help that too. Thank you for the support 🙂

I am also going to have a full blood test when my GP returns from holidays.

Good for you to sticking to your guns re addictive tranquillers. I found anti-dis helpful for short term when my anxiety was really bad whilst addressing the underlying cause (menopause, thyroid disorder, side effects of tranquillers, grief, husbands cancer, loss, daughter's meltdown - a combination of many things that were happening at the time - it was a real bomb most would not have survived). I feel now I can survive almost anything.

Did I tell you that we put an offer in to hopefully move to my dream house on the water? First offer was rejected but the vendor has not received a better one yet and they approached us for a higher offer. Not budging though as he is asking too much. It's a waiting game now and nerve wrecking. It's our entire life savings we are putting into this dream if it goes ahead. Wish us luck.

Great to read your mums illness is under control. Much the same as my husbands plight with cancer. Regular treatments treatments but under control. He is a real miracle boy as he was given 18 mths to live 19 yrs ago. Hence why we are such believers of positive thinking and faith. The most difficult thing I have ever faced was my daughter's declining mental condition - just soul destroying for a mother to watch ( she was sexually assaulted and in a very bad abusive relationship). If not for that my life would be wonderful.

Enjoy your weekend too @oceangirl

@oceangirl - meant to ask you, where could my husband find the services of an exercise physiologist? He has problems with his knees (might need a knee replacement) and can't exercise adequately for this reason. We are near all medical services and have never come across this help. He has seen active service and has a gold card which covers all expenses.