Tillogram

@Till23 I wasnt on the forum last night, but just read your posts now. I have a few thoughts - just throwing them into the open for ypu to see whether or not any of it might click (or not! I dont know!)

How would the idea of "have just 1 or 2 things you do" for purpose sit with you?

It sounds like you have MANY different activities going on, and not feeling deeply connected to the world. Hence my mind wonders if maybe you are spreading yourself too thin? It can cause both lack of connection, fatigue, and a feeling of not meeting requirements (too much to do!).

I was also going to ask the same as AuntGlow did - what does your heart feel it needs?

Or, what are the thoughts that creep up when depressed or tired? (I recall "not enough" is one of them.)

Hope you got some sleep. *hugs*

Good evening @Till23! 🫶

It's been very busy, yes.

I have actually had to put some creative things on hold so I can slow down a bit - I found myself getting a bit burnt out with work and study. I will definitely explore them again in the new year.

For now, I would like to rest a bit more (and move my body!)

I hear you... when did you notice this specific disconnection came about? And was it in alignment with finishing work?

I understand that feeling of being disconnected and constantly tired... I have felt that way a lot as of late too, actually. So you're definitely not alone.

This time of year can be exhausting, not only because it's the end of the year, but also because it holds a lot of vulnerability - like you mentioned. It's truly tough. How could you take extra care of yourself this coming month?

It sounds like you are really needing to slow down, but it doesn't feel safe to do so right now?

There's no need to force or feign positivity - you're allowed to be where you're at. I wonder what it would be like to allow all of these feelings in with more self-compassion?

I understand not loving yourself when you feel this way... it's hard to integrate our shadow selves.

Knowing that I can feel similarly, what would you tell me if I came to you with everything you just shared? 💛

*extends caring hugs to @AuntGlow also* I really appreciate that you also share when you are having times when work & study are piling up and teetering towards a risk of burnout and disconnection. Not only does it give us a chance to "give back" and also to practice/reflect on the advice we would give to others (which we know we probably should take our own medicine for lol), but I think it also helps to break down any perceived power-distance and humanise.

Just wanted to express care & concern for you also, and share my appreciation of your vulnerability and acknowledge your current battles too.

Sending hugs 🫂 🤗 @Till23 , @AlwaysMyself , @AuntGlow , @tyme

See you tomorrow

Hi @AlwaysMyself and @AuntGlow and thanks for your responses. I am only just looking at the forums now, quite late in the evening. I did an evening sport training tonight so I'm a bit behind in my normal daily tasks. I also feel a bit better because I have done exercise. In the morning I decided to try to do a craft thing I've never done, it has several parts and I'm still doing it.

Thank you both for your concern and your chatting, suggestions and caring. Please make sure you look after yourselves and don't feel obliged to respond to my posts.

I'm sorry you have been feeling disconnected and constantly tired @AuntGlow. I have to say you sound like you are doing a lot. You seem to always be on the forums of late.

@Till23 your description of the type of friend you seek sounds exactly like my ideal too. 😍🥰 I used to have a friend like that, but then they moved rural (no phone reception at home lol) and also had 2 children (rarely free time now). I also wish I had someone like that again who I could spend casual time with and chat deeply to.

Whilst I know its not the same, if you would like to discuss decisions (even purchases!) or online-images from exhibits etc (or your own photos after you go to one) I am open to that. 😊

It makes sense to me what you say about "helping peolple" jobs and seeing injustice & inequity and wanting to help. I feel the same. I think if I was not working (unable or retired) I would do volunteer work at least a few hours per week. For the past 3 years I have done volunteer youth mentoring, which runs for 2 school terms only (which is a good thing whilst i am working, all year round would be a bit hard with work also). They also do it online now though so people can volunteer all year round if they want.

I like craft things. I would love to hear more about what you are making, if you wish to share. It wonder if you will be making a latex mould or a plaster mould of your clay object?

Are you using airdry clay or kiln-firing clay?

Hi @AlwaysMyself just dropping in quickly to say that I saw your post. Hopefully I will get to respond maybe tonight.

Hope you have a good day

Hi @AlwaysMyself sorry I am on the forums late tonight and am just passing as I have to get some sleep as early training tomorrow and a few other things on. However I will quickly respond to your post.

I think connection is important but not just an acquaintance that you just small talk with, even though these people are important. I think it's a kind of human need to have deeper connections.

I think it's great that you have done some volunteer work while you are working and sounds like you enjoy doing it and get something out of it. However as you know you can't pour from an empty cup, so it's good that you have the option of not doing it continuously.

Are you settling back into things after your Melbourne trip?

Thanks for chatting and I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow. I probably won't be on forums much (not that I have been) for next few days as I'm pretty busy.

@Till23 Hello lovely how are you? Have you had a good day/week?

The medication tapering is a mess. My GP and the mental health well being local medical people are in disagreement. My GP wants to rush me off a medicine but it’s been brutal including causing SI (I’m safe) which I’ve never had before the taper. The mental health well being local advise a slow taper (psychiatrist) and they want GP to allow me to have a script for a compounded pharmacy to make lower dose to taper slowly as my body isnt coping and this is a drug known to be very hard to come off. GP said no to compounded pharmacy. Wants me off quickly and if I don’t comply will cut the amount of times I can book him in to once a fortnight. It’s all a mess.

Oh...I don't know what to say. It sounds brutal. From my own tapering experiences, I took years between each reduction because of the side effects. I just couldn't handle it.

I wonder if your two docs can speak to each other and come up wiht a final decision?

In my mind, I'm wondering if the MH team are the experts in this? But I can't say because I don't know what's going on. It just sounds very confusing, and you've been sandwiched and feeling the effects of it all @Cuddlebear

Please look after yourself through this.

Hey @Till23