Tillogram

hehe it's what my friends and I call one another, it feels nice to say! @Till23

We are all queens in our own right. 💅

I am glad you are feeling better today! It really does sound like meaningful and practical achievements help you to feel fulfilled. 🥰

Ah, that sounds like such a beautiful Spring image. I used to sit in my childhood Jacaranda tree all the time! Is yours really big?!

I think you're right, that this is a transitional period for you, so it will naturally take time for this to feel like your new normal. Acknowledging your daily achievements will help a lot here, I think. That way, you're incrementally creating more awareness around what your capacity, rather than your 'lack', so to speak? (I need to do this too).

Oh, I was just singing in my apartment haha, I miss singing with others though. It's such an amazing feeling. 🤩

❤️❤️ @Till23

Yes I love Jacarandas @AuntGlow I planted one at my place when I first got here. Along with a lemon tree it was the first tree I planted, so have watched it grow. It's fairly big now and has flowered the best so far this year.

I absolutely cannot sing. I tried to join a choir once but I just wasn't good enough. Maybe I should take some simple singing lessons. I would like to learn piano too, that has the potential to be more successful. I wish I could have the guts to do these and other things. I have done some things that I didn't think I'd do (like my current sport) but I feel I need to push myself out of my comfort zone a bit more. A lot of it is just a confidence thing. I kind of wish I could get back into theatre, which I did at uni. Not on stage but in the tech crew. I probably need to write myself a list of wishes and try them out.

I am very lucky though that I am in a position to even think about these things and perhaps try some things. I'm not struggling just to just survive physically, I have secure accommodation and I can afford enough to eat and even to afford my sport and the occasional other thing. I wish my mental health could be better, but maybe I can do something about that. It's good to have these times when there's a bit of space in my head to consider these things, I have to strive to maintain that.

Can you join a choir or group again @AuntGlow

Good evening @Till23!

Watching a tree grow over time must be so rewarding. 🤩 Are you out in nature or closer to a city?

Aw, I think that singing, especially in a choir should be for enjoyment, not perfection. I really encourage you to try singing or piano... I get the sense it could be really rewarding for you because it's something you used to be surrounded by when you were younger. I think we are absolutely here to honour the dreams of our younger selves in some way. 🥰 What other dreams are on your list?

Bonus question: what helped you move through the initial fear when starting your sport?

I also need to challenge myself again... we can check-in with each other around this, if you'd like?

Tech crew would be sooo fun too, and great for community. Maybe you could chat to some local community theatre organisations and see what they have available? ✨

Good evening @AuntGlow or probably not evening by the time you read this!

Yes it has been great watching the tree growing - I love that type of thing, anything nature.

It sounds like you have fairly recently started your cabaret type thing and you are also studying and working, so you've got a fair bit on.

Good evening @Till23,

Wow! Living near bushland and a creek sounds very relaxing. Do you find time to walk along there or sit and read? I used to live near a big creek during Covid, so I spent a lot of time down there when we were in isolation. It was very serene, and despite the context, it holds really positive memories.

It honestly sounds like you're in a wonderful spot if the things you need access to aren't too far away!

Gosh, that can be so hard, can't it? There have been so many times I have wanted to give up on things I have started because it's been too much. You should be so proud of your persistance. Do you think it was worth all of the hard work?

It sounds like next year could open up a plethora of opportunities for you, especially around your creative endeavours. 🤩

Ah, how cool are hot air balloons?! How was that experience for you?

Grey Nomad travelling sounds wonderful - what might that look like?

I definitely do. I used to perform a lot more when I was studying creative arts and working in hospitality... it's wild to think that even 6/7 years ago the economy was so different and allowed for much more freedom. At least, in my experience. I am curious to hear yours. 💛

Hi @AuntGlow sorry I have not been on forums this evening until just now, so I am not sure when you will see this response. I cannot remember when PSWs are on anymore, as I am not on the forums as much.

I hope you have a lovely time until you are next on and have some opportunities with performing. You are very busy with working, studying and performing, I hope you have some tim to rest and recharge.

Hello lovely @Till23,

That's okay, I am happy to receive your responses whenever you are free!

The ebbs and flows throughout the day can be really tough... I find it hard not to attach to the things that feel heavy as well. But I think writing your positives down (like glimmers or gratitudes) could really help, that's a good idea.

Can you tell me more about the connections you have been exploring?

Gah, tech issues are the worst! What makes you feel like you have failed people, exactly? 💛

You know, I think it's human to have two (or many) truths exist at once. It's perfectly valid for you to notice things you are grateful for and lucky to have, but to also have a disconnect from your joy when things are tough - there's a lot going and a lot that you've been processing. And from what I am sensing, this brain fog could be coming from how busy your mind is at the moment. You are doing SO much to address your needs and achieve your goals... what would it be like to show yourself gratitude and compassion for showing up? I know this can feel really, really hard to access... but kind of like your sport, it's a skill that can absolutely be built over time.

Until then, I will keep reflecting back what I see in you. 🥰

Hi @AuntGlow and thanks for your response. You seem to be on the forums quite a bit! I know @tyme quite likes that, but you may prefer other parts of your job (probably especially if you got to dress up and sing 🤣 (I understand this might not currently be in the PSW job description, but I saw a post saying there are going to be some changes - so you could push for it!)

Hey @Till23 ,

Thanks for sharing. You sound so proactive - maybe it's part of your routine that you don't even realise until you stop and reflect on your progress!

Well done on all the sport acitivities this year as well as your lived experience role. I hope it's okay and you are getting a lot out of it. You are so brave in being able to advocate for people with certain experiences. Lived experience is so important. I feel it adds a touch of humanness into the system.

Do you have a mood diary to keep track of your mood changes? I used to use an app, but I can't remember the name of the app. I soon found that my mood changes were strongly related to hormonal changes. Therefore, I'm able to predict the changes a lot more.

Hope you are well!