Tillogram

@Till23 , @tyme

Anything he eats is making him feel sick , has dizzy spells and very weary

Oh that sounds awful @Shaz51 how long has he been having this problem?

I have vertigo and bad tinnitus, so I know all about feeling dizzy - I have managed to adapt mostly, so I'm not too bad. When I first got the vertigo it used to amke me sick and sometimes vomit.

My tinnitus has been quite bad since I got back from my trip

Only for a month @Till23 , @tyme

Just getting worse

Scan next week to see if it is gallstones or kidney stones 🤔

@Shaz51 , maybe he's just sick? So it's more than just the gallbladder? As you said the other day, it was pastry free pie that he ate and he was sick.

@Till23 , I'm hearing you. Makes sense what you have explained. From my own experiences, the end of one therapeutic relationship can be really really painful. At the same time, it can also open doors for other perspectives.

It reminds me of kids I used to work with. There came a time when I could feel the work just wasn't making a difference and hence I encouraged them to stop our sessions or for them to find another practitioner. I could 'feel' when things were stagnant. I wonder if this is the case?

It's not an issue with YOU so much, but more that perhaps she feels there isnt the movement that she'd like?

Hello @tyme I am just writing something over here that I saw on my landing page on another thread, but I didn't want to crash that other thread. I was just reading about your training experience around learning styles.

I too have to do something and I doodle when I am taking things in, like listening in a meeting or at a course when I am not writing notes.

People would often look askance at me or even sometimes comment and then when I give them the last paragraph the speaker has said verbatim, they leave me alone. Because my mind is always racing, I'm always hypervigilant, I have to do more than one thing at a time to really concentrate. If I don't divide my attention between the speaker and the drawing my mind will be going elsewhere and I won't be able to take in what speaker is saying. I allegedly not neurodivergent (or I am just too old to have been diagnosed, plus I'm female)

Hopefully the reults of blood tests will also help sort out the situation @Shaz51 either obstructive gall stones or kidney stones can cause some of these problems. but it depends on the degree of obstruction of gastrointestinal or urinary tracts

It's extremely painful @tyme because I have attachment issues. Part of the therapy is to try and remedy this problem and therefore you need a stable therapist. Otherwise it's another person that you can't trust/rely on, so reminiscent of past situations where a trusted person has let you down

She keeps assuring me that she feels I am moving at a good pace. Previously she would say you move really fast.

Good evening @Till23,

How are you feeling tonight? ✨

To respond to your post from last night: I think it's very positive that you are listening to where your body is at. Sometimes we really do need to simply surrender to what we feel and pause. I encourage you to be extra allowing during this transitional phase.

I understand what you mean around complexity... however, we do create spaces for those with complex mental health experiences, which is why we welcome it (and mean it!). But I always encourage safe sharing, so I trust that you know your limits and boundaries.

Nervous, tired, sad... hmm, how are these feelings sitting with you today? I noticed you mentioned your psychologist has suggested that you see someone who specialises in disassociation. I can imagine that would have felt really vulnerable... of course all of your internalised beliefs have come up! It must be really confusing for you.

I have had a therapist say this to me too, and it wasn't that she thought anything bad about me, but because she thought someone with more experience might be able to meet my needs better. So it was more about her and where she was at. Could that be what is happening here? 💛

I can certainly hear how attachment plays a part in these relationships.

I'm not sure if you know much about BPD, but relationship attachments are a HUGE part and one of the very triggers/symptoms is the feeling of abandonment/rejection. Consider how hard it is to end this therapeutic relationship after 18 months of putting everything in to 'trust' this therapist. To see them 4 hours each week, then to suddenly have NOTHING.

Yet this was what it was as part of the treatment, and I think it has it's own purpose despite it being so hard to manage the end of the therapeutic relationship.

I hear how hard this is, and I'm open to speaking to you about anything that comes up for you. I guess I can only share from my perspective @Till23

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@Till23 wrote:

Hello @tyme I am just writing something over here that I saw on my landing page on another thread, but I didn't want to crash that other thread. I was just reading about your training experience around learning styles.

I too have to do something and I doodle when I am taking things in, like listening in a meeting or at a course when I am not writing notes.

People would often look askance at me or even sometimes comment and then when I give them the last paragraph the speaker has said verbatim, they leave me alone. Because my mind is always racing, I'm always hypervigilant, I have to do more than one thing at a time to really concentrate. If I don't divide my attention between the speaker and the drawing my mind will be going elsewhere and I won't be able to take in what speaker is saying. I allegedly not neurodivergent (or I am just too old to have been diagnosed, plus I'm female)

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Thank you for understanding !!! I was so upset by the comment the facilitator made. I felt so belittled. Imagine an adult being told to shut their laptop and show some respect. I was so hurt.

Then in the next session, the facilitator threw in a really random question, called out my name and asked me to respond. I didn't look at the faciliator when I responded and spoke about how we all learn differently etc. But a colleague of mine just messaged me to say that the facilitator certainly wasn't expecting the response that she got from me and looked super surprised that I knew exactly what was happening. @Till23

Arghhhhh.... we have superpowers @Till23

Good evening @AuntGlow I hope you are going as well as possible given the general busyness of the forums. It seems you PSWs hardly get a chance to take a sip of coffee/tea/beverage of choice!

Thank you for our response

I am not feeling very well tonight.

Yes there are several things I would never share on the forums or in public in general. I am always aware that anyone can read the forums even without an account, hence the first two lines of many posts are deliberately bland.

Tonight I feel sad, confused, Not Good Enough is high, very tired now adrenaline has dropped kind of like I've hit a wall.