Tillogram

Hi @Till23 @AlwaysMyself just been catching up on things 😊

Your conversation has actually reminded me a little of a book that I am...almost finished reading! It's called Staring at the Sun by Irvin Yalom, who's this psychotherapist who specialises in Existential approaches. The overall thesis of the book revolves around the idea that death anxiety is what creates suffering (he even talks about the idea that all anxiety is death anxiety that has been re-routed, which I have actually found to be true for myself - e.g. fear of social blunders is fear of abandonment and isolation which is fear of dying alone...), that it is only by truly acknowledging our mortality that we can embrace the fullness of life. I even remember reading this story of someone who had had chronic SI for so long, and after an attempt, realised that he could literally change anything about his life that he wanted to, without worrying about what he was supposed to do, because he'd rather die than continue how he was. Sometimes it's only through confronting our finiteness that we can be free to choose who we want to be and how we want to move through our lives.

Sending you both some 💜

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@Till23 this December's been a weird one for me - it feels busy but also slow at the same time? it's a different vibe to what i'm used to. regardless, i'm glad to be chatting here with you 😊

yay i'm glad that you've got those teammates and other social spaces that you're actively connecting in! walking group sounds nice, i'd love to join one of those one day.

oh i see- thanks for sharing a bit more about your cancer treatment journey. i know i can't necessarily change your mind about not wanting to be here, but i do want to say that your presence means a lot to myself and the community.

"I don't know if it's just the normal ups and downs of my MH issues but I am in a fairly down period" - it's absolutely normal!!! recovery doesn't necessarily mean that once you have some support and tools, the downs will just disappear. ups and downs are apart of life in general, and with practice, it'll get easier to bounce back from those lows. sometimes i feel like i need a lil nudge or reminder that i can overcome the hard stuff or try again, cos in the moment of that 'low', my feelings tend to cloud my logic. which is reckon is a pretty human response too.

the incremental goals idea sounds great!! like you said, it doesn't have to be big but setting those goals can maybe help freshen things up. feel free to share it here too if you'd like, or if you'd prefer to keep it yourself, totally fine too!! 😊

Hi @Jynx I hope you are well. I'm sure your fingers are flying across the keyboard, as is your usual practice, so thanks for stopping by..

Thanks, I had a quick "look" at the book you mentioned.. I think it's a different perspective to mine..

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As with most of these ideas, reality does not always match the theory. Anyhow I might try to look for it, to see what he says

Hi @rav3n thanks for stopping by and responding.

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Thank you for chatting with me, when there are many other people to chat to.

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Yes I know MH has ups and downs.

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Anyhow, thanks for trying your best to help me.

@Till23 I do see what you mean, so I'd be curious to hear your thoughts if you do end up reading it!!

Also nearly forgot to tell you I've added a TW to your post!

I am skedaddling soon enough, but I did see what you've been saying about not having any truly deep connections. Maybe that's an area in which you could take some risks? Could explore this more with you next time if you like 😊💜

Thanks for dropping by @Jynx I can see you've been busy with others on the forums, so appreciate it..Yes, I inderstand you'll be logging off shortly.. I should too as early training tomorrow..

I wondered who added that warning, sorry I didn't think what I wrote needed it, but will try to remember to add one in future.

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Good afternoon! @Till23

How are you today? 💛

I have also experienced the 403 issue, I will let the higher-ups know.

And that's okay, you never have to share anything you don't want to.

A period of introspection is wonderful, I think it's a beautiful way to develop a closer relationship with ourselves.

Your reflections about taking action really resonate with me!! I often get to a point where I get so frustrated with things being the same that it propels me into action - it can be a great launching pad when other things don't seem to be working. What would you want to do, if you were to jump straight into something?

Thank you for being so open and vulnerable here. 🫶 I can absolutely hear that you'd like things to shift and change, and that a part of you feels ready - I encourage you to lean into that voice. What wisdom does she have to share?

I wonder if the fatigue has come from overthinking and masking? I know that I often feel exhausted for these reasons... but the moment I am in my body, intellectually stimulated or emotionally enagaged - I have all the energy in the world! I wonder if it might be similar for you?

You mentioned wanting to start this process - how is it going so far?

@Till23 I like dropping by 😊

I'm sensing that there's a part of you that feels like you're taking up time/space/energy - from us, the mod team, but maybe also on the forums in general?

I dunno if this helps you to hear, but you can trust the team to be able to prioritise where we are putting our energy. We'll always have stuff going on behind the scenes, there's occasional 'fires' to put out, but like, I wouldn't be dedicating time to you if it would be preventing me supporting someone else in a more acute state of need. We all deserve connection and support, regardless of whether we're in a 'good place' or not.

Also, in my opinion, 'navel-gazing' (which I'm interpreting as 'introspection') is just as important a part of recovery as any other facet. Sometimes it helps us to be able to voice our thoughts - it's one of the main ways we process our thoughts and feelings, by externalising them; and I reckon it's always better to be able to do so in a space where we know we won't be shamed for it.

@Jynx,@AuntGlow, @tyme,@rav3n,@AlwaysMyself,@Shaz51..Thanks for all the chats.. I will be away for an indeterminate time.. Hope you have lovely breaks, adventures, fun activities and that you all find some peace and sunshine Thanks for interacting with me over the past almost one year.

hey @Till23 thanks for letting us know! i hope you have a restful break. i know this end of year period can get hectic so pls do reach out to helplines/crisis lines if things get heavy, you deserve to be supported and heard.

take care, i look forward to chatting with you when you're back 💙