Functioning with ADHD

@tyme honestly a shower feels like a lot of effort at this point, sometimes one can’t be bothered. It’s Friday tomorrow, so I’m going to try to make the effort.

It is probably better to sort health before work. I don’t have any upcoming interviews, it’s been rough. So much competition and my brain has limited capacity when completing job applications. I try to write up quality resumes and cover letters, but I am exhausted. Also I find interviews very overwhelming, I am naturally in hyperarousal most of the time and my brain is so foggy. I know there is hope once I start feeling better it’ll be easier. I’ve been thinking, maybe the reason I haven’t gotten a job yet is because I’m supposed to spend this time working on healing.

I’m tired of people thinking I’m fragile, we can decide who to listen to

I find job searching is totally a full time job in itself @creative_writer !

When I'm looking for a job, I make sure I respond in detail to all their selection criteria which means I'm writing an essay for each application!

@tyme finding a job is a full time job. It feels like writing an essay for each application. I’m doing volunteer work rn with Lifeline. I’ve been starting slow, it’s been going okay so far. It takes my mind off my stuff and gives me something else to focus on.

What did you get up to today?

Oh! That's sounds pretty cool that you are doing volunteer work with Lifeline! It gives you a foot into the industry. How you finding it? I don't know what it's like working for LL so it's good to hear from others about what's involved. Are you just doing the training at the moment?

Today, I over socialised and came home to sllleeeeepp! I had a cafe catchup with ex-colleagues, then I was invited to a family friend's place... that was way too much socialising for me @creative_writer

Since I had a nap, I don't think I'm sleeping tonight!

@tyme it’s been good. I was previously a volunteer a few years back but had to leave it due to my mental health. I was at crisis point on a regular basis back then, I didn’t have much to pour out of my cup. I do still struggle with my mental health but I don’t have SI regularly anymore. I’ve finished training and have started regular shifts.

Oversocialising is a thing, I would be tired too. You strike me more of an introvert. I wouldn’t blame you for napping. I do hope you are still able to get some sleep tonight

Yes! I'm totally an introvert even though I seem like an extravert when I'm out. I like my space. I like my quietness.

How many shifts do you do? @creative_writer

Honestly, well done to you for being able to work on a crisis line. That's something that's totally out of my depth.

@tyme I don’t know if you’ve heard of the extroverted introvert.

I’m doing shorter shifts at a time and spacing it out. It helps to do shorter bouts with my energy reserves. I do it from home. We need to commit to at least 4 hrs per fortnight. You also have to a minimum of a few group supervisions and some professional developments to do per year.

I’m about to go to bed. I’ll talk to you when you’re on again. I hope you have a restful night 💖

Can you justify doing something if it helps you with your mental health? It helps me concentrate and calms me down. I just wanted relief. I’m safe. I’m justifying my actions and telling myself I didn’t do anything wrong

hey @creative_writer when we're hurting, it's very human to want to seek relief, and sometimes it might not be in the healthiest way. although we don't want to 'encourage' unhealthy tools, we don't want to place shame on them either - you did the best you could in the moment to keep yourself safe. sending you gentle hugs, i know that must've been really hard 💗

now that you are safe, maybe we can look at healthy coping tools for next time?

@rav3n it’s just hard to resist at times. It gets exhausting when the urges are prolonged. I’ve taken a shower (after a few days) and will be having lunch soon. Food is a good first step, I can’t think properly when hungry.

I’m also doing some laundry and will need to take it out later this afternoon. I think I might need to take it slow today, I didn’t sleep well last night. I got those racing thoughts before I fell asleep, then I woke up early to do my bloods. It gets so busy if you arrive later