I ruined everything

@Legoguy i love Lego and have a very large collection. I just built the new Angel one yesterday to go with my Stitch 😊. I'm gonna have to make some time to watch the last Lego masters then start the new one, sounds like it's a good season.

Oh I really think centrelink enjoy making people miserable.

What are you studying at uni (only if you want to share). Can understand it would be hard to concentrate at the moment but maybe it might serve as a good distraction?

I don't work due to disabilities.

My last build was the McLaren p1. Such a big built with so many intricate parts. But my most enjoyable builds and the ones I like the most have been the Atari 2600 and the pacman machine.

Im doing my bachelors in information technology cyber security. I only started this year and I was studying with my step-daughter. So this trimester is going to be even harder as now I no longer have her to study with and bounce ideas off. So that is making me even more scared.

@Legoguy i love the intricate builds, sometimes they have so much detail in them and it's really quite amazing. I haven't built a big set for a while. All my sets got broken up and mixed together so I've been working through it all and bagging up sets so that I can eventually build them again.

That's an awesome thing to be studying. I can imagine it would be making things harder being that it was something you shared together. That feeling of being scared is completely understandable.

@Legoguy its so hard when it's something you were doing together. I know it's such a big change and right now it's going to hurt so much but hopefully with time things will get easier.

It really sounds like you were supporting each other so I know how much it's going to be hard to do it alone. Maybe given time you will be able to support each other again, you just never know what may happen in the future.

Just letting you know that I'll be logging off soon so I will chat to you more tomorrow if you like 😊

@Legoguy no worries at all, I'm always happy to chat 😊.

Hold that hope cos you never know what may happen.

I hope you can have a good night's rest and I wish you the best with uni tomorrow. Be gentle with yourself and just take it one day at a time 😊

I think it's important to be honest with your loved ones and I know it's never easy owning up to something that big, so I think you were very brave to own up to what you did, even if it was the wrong thing to do. It's normal to feel bad and upset with yourself for the past, but ultimately that's what it is, the past, and you're going to need to take your own time, and give your family some time to accept that it happened. Working through these things are tough, and you may feel like a bad person right now, but a truely bad person never would have told the truth and never would have felt bad about it. It is important to understand your problems and take accountability for them, it is unhealthy to hide from problems and wish them away. You should continue going to therapy if you are having a rough time and make sure you give yourself time.

Hi Legoguy. This is my first post on this site. The reason is that I feel exactly the same as you. I took my wife of many years for granted. I was unfaithful and at the time I blamed her for not showing me enough affection/love. And that was partly true but the hard truth is I took the easy way and I should have fought harder for the marriage. Now I am absolutely devastated that she has left. All the advice I get is try to let go but letting go of being a bad person is hard. And I don’t want to play the victim, I just want to own my actions. If she ever gave me a chance again I know I would make her happy like I wanted to do, but the trust is gone and she will never give me that chance. They say time heals all wounds but so far it’s not working. Best of luck to you and I will monitor this space and hope for you to feel better asap.

@Polarity one of my biggest problems is I have always lied about things. Its something that I am trying to change. So I have been trying to just tell everyone the whole truth about everything. If someone asks me, they get the full story. If they dont like me for what I have done then I deserve it. I own it.

I haven't once yet blamed anyone other than myself and I dont intend to. Yes my partner could have given me more attention. But that isn't her fault. I wasn't fully there for her so why should she be for me. Yes I wish that she would have sat me down and made me talk to her about my problems and maybe I would have opened up to her more and maybe I would have stopped talking to my ex. But, I didn't open up and I chose to keep talking to my ex. Who by the way. Once she found out that I was single, cut me off straight away. Im glad. Im glad she doesn't try to message me any more. It has shown me that all she wanted was to manipulate and hurt me.

So now im left trying to piece my life back together. Living in one room of my parents house while storing the rest of my stuff in one of the sheds.

My partner told me to get out of the house 8 days ago. 5 days ago she blocked me and cut me out completely. Along with all of her family.

That was the day I moved all of my stuff out.

So now, im just alone with my horrible thoughts, and my wishing things were different and trying to make myself a better person.

One of the biggest things that I hope comes from me putting all of this out there, is that somewhere, someone else who is making the same mistake, finds this and realises before it's too late, and changes.

Maybe, just maybe, I can help someone not do the same thing.