Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Struggling… and crying….

SemlySenior Contributor29 May 2025, 8:40 am AEST

Struggling… and crying….

Hi there,

just looking for a little company.
I’m new and finding my way here.
I find it very hard to feel like I belong anywhere.
@tyme, @AuntGlow @Shaz51 @NightFury would you like to chat with me a little here?

I feel so sad and stupid.
I’m probably going to mess up this post, but I’d just love some company.
I have two assignments to do, and am away from work for the moment because my current depressive episode got too much for me. Sometimes I’m able to feel like I made the right call about work because I wasn’t really helping anyone by being there (especially not myself), but the rest off the time I think I’m weak, incapable, incompetent, self-indulgent and lazy.
Yesterday was the best day I’ve had I in ages, and I was cherishing the feeling that I’d managed to connect a little here.

When I realised I’d have to try again I was so sad - I know, you can’t prevent it and you’ve got to grow and learn.

So this is my attempt to grow and learn and to try to connect.

I kinda feel like I don’t belong at Sane because my mental health issues aren’t serious enough. But life always feels like it’s a bit uphill even on my best days, and I have a lot of days that are far from best, and some genuinely bad ones.

I do really feel not good enough most of the time, and it makes me shrink, and disconnect (or be unable to connect in the first place).
I’m so blessed to have a family, but my struggles impact negatively on them - I was not a supportive or patient person this morning.

I’m a bit under slept this morning, but I need to make progress on my assignments. And also would love to “make progress” on “getting better”, but that might entail more of the ‘welcoming and /or accepting the feelings’, rather than actually feeling bouncier or happier than I do.

In real life I connected with a colleague who became a friend - they’re a mental health professional; I don’t know what I am … sometimes I felt therapeutic adjacent, which I know would make them laugh. But I feel like I’ve been too much for them and they’re getting some space (of course, it might have nothing to do with me … but that’s just me saying the right answer.) Makes total sense and simultaneously I feel heartbroken and bereft.

Thanks for listening. I’ve stepped crying now.
Please do let me know if I should edit this - I will straight away if needed.

I hope you all have started the day well and for those in warm places, I’ll say that it must have been below zero here - the house is chilly and I saw at least a glimpse of frost outside.

Warm wishes and thank you for listening.

41 replies

1 - 10 of 41

1 2...5

In response to: Struggling… and crying….

snowflake231Senior Contributor29 May 2025, 9:15 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

I'll chat with you @Semly Sounds like you are going through a rough patch. I know how lonely that is. Hope I can help you.

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

SemlySenior Contributor29 May 2025, 9:32 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

Hey, thank you @snowflake231! How are you today? I haven’t totally kept up - did it work out that you couldn’t take the new medication? And I wondered where you ended up with the casework referral? Those are really direct questions!! You don’t have to answer them at all!
I’m going to do what’s good now by getting started on my day - putting on washing, getting some food started for later in the day (so dinner time isn’t a freakout meltdown situation). Then I’m getting into some study work. I find it so easy to freak myself out and feel like I can’t do things that I’m actually either okay or quite good at. Seems like total self-sabotage and I really don’t know why it happens.
Do you have something good happening in your day? Thank you 💙

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

Shaz51Senior Contributor29 May 2025, 10:09 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

morning @Semly , @snowflake231

how are you going this morning

love to chat to you my friends 😍

putting on washing, getting some food started for later in the day -- this is great @Semly , well done

what study work are you doing ?

what things do you like doing ?

some more great members @Ru-bee , @Glisten , @Oaktree

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

SemlySenior Contributor29 May 2025, 10:22 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

Thank you @Shaz51 ❤️

I’ve made a tiny checklist and am up to the food prep. And eating- that’s important too.

Im studying mental health-related stuff, like others I’ve seen here.

I like reading, being outside, the ocean, trees, rivers, growing things (both ways - I love things that are growing and I love to grow things)

I love the idea of living from a place of love, not fear. I love the experience of that, too, but when sadness , doubt and anxiety kick in it’s very easy (or automatic) for me to ‘retreat’ into fear.

Now I see, in real life practice, why in these situations you always ask about the good.
Now I have something to try on for the day: living from love however I’m able for today.

In response to: Struggling… and crying….

TollyModerator29 May 2025, 10:29 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

@Semly You do belong here, and I know it can be so hard when we have such unkind thoughts about ourselves. I hope your assignments go well. 💙

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

Shaz51Senior Contributor29 May 2025, 10:34 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

Hello @Tolly 😍

@Semly , my mum had 2 saying " keep on keeping on "

and " it will pass", so these help me everyday even when things get really bad to use our self care toolbox to carry on xx

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

TollyModerator29 May 2025, 10:39 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

@Semly @Shaz51 Your Mum was spot on @Shaz51 and I think these are really empowering things to remind ourselves about 🦋

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

SemlySenior Contributor29 May 2025, 10:49 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

@Shaz51 have you heard First Aid Kit’s song ‘keep on keeping on’?
It’s beautiful, and I may just play it now.
@Tolly, I’m pretty sure now I’ve started this I’ll be back every 10 minutes with tiny updates like ‘opened laptop’
‘Logged into canvas’
‘Wrote title on PowerPoint slide’
Whatever it takes to make it through the last 2 (written) assessments.
Then I’ll be back with the readings and the lecture notes for the quizzes
Do you ever find “keep on keeping on” a bit full on - like you never know when it’s ok to strip and let yourself rest or do something unproductive?

In response to: Re: Struggling… and crying….

Shaz51Senior Contributor29 May 2025, 10:57 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

know when it’s ok to strip and let yourself rest or do something unproductive? -- I am still learning @Semly , @Tolly , @snowflake231

self-care is so important, even being outside for 5 minutes, having a cuppa which I love makes a difference

do you have any fur babies

In response to: Struggling… and crying….

Till23Senior Contributor29 May 2025, 11:02 am AEST

Re: Struggling… and crying….

Hi @Semly I am so glad you started your own thread. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there especially if you’re not used to it.

There is no bar over which you need to jump to post on forums. No MH issues or level of “severity” is required.

Everybody’s experiences and journey are different but there are similarities which you will see means that you are not alone in your journey. Paths will continue side by side, then cross, move away, come back together etc, because everyone is going at their own pace.

Putting as much it as little of your own story on here as you feel you are able will help other people get to know you a bit and what it is you’re hoping to get from the forums.

I’m glad you have some support off the forums.

I hope you don’t mind me posting this this bit here. I will be going away for a while so I won’t be around at all. So I probably won’t chat to you for a while.

All the best with your journey.

I see you found the social space as well which is great.
Also just to let you know it’s usually quieter in the day and gets busier in the evenings. So don’t worry if you don’t see many posts at first

1 - 10 of 41

1 2...5