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Where do I start

snowflake231Senior Contributor18 May 2025, 7:20 am AEST

Where do I start

I'm heart broken. My 16yo daughter sat me down last night and it wasn't pretty what she had to say.

she basically said I've given up on life, I stopped taking care of myself, I'm not talking, I'm depressed, she is embarrassed by me and that I desperately need therapy.

and the worst thing is that she is right. I have given up on life, I'm depressed eventhough I'm manic at the moment, I have no joy in my life, I'm isolated and I find it very hard to communicate.

im heartbroken that it has impacted on her so much I thought I was better at hiding it than I obviously am.

I have been depressed for years and my bipolar is very hard to control. The ECT helps somewhat but I don't want it anymore. I don't know what to do. I don't find therapy helpful. But I'll go if that's gonna make her happy.

26 replies

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In response to: Where do I start

tymeModerator18 May 2025, 6:34 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

Hey @snowflake231 ,

It sounds so powerful that your daughter is your protective factor - this is what keeps you going. We hear how hard things are for you at the moment, and that you have been through ECT.

Do you think a medication review might help? Or are you in the position to have a private admission for intensive therapeutic support?

I hear how hard it is for you and really wanted to reach out to let you know that many have been in a smiliar dark place - myself included.

I have been in a space where I never thought I'd get out of the darkness. Yet things DID improve eventually.

Please hold on.

In response to: Where do I start

snowflake231Senior Contributor18 May 2025, 7:24 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

@MJG017 I don't think I'm in a mindset to write anything down. I know that she feels the depression but I also know if I wrote/ told anyone what I truly feel it would be too much for her to handle. I honestly can't reveal the true extent of the problem.

In response to: Re: Where do I start

snowflake231Senior Contributor18 May 2025, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

@tyme

No im not in a position to have an admission. I'm however going to talk to my mental health gp to see if we can review the medication any further.

In response to: Where do I start

snowflake231Senior Contributor18 May 2025, 11:52 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

@MJG017

Thank you for the links. I looked it up and I am definately going through a mixed episode. I have also found a local support group which I registered for. So thank you.

In response to: Re: Where do I start

snowflake231Senior Contributor19 May 2025, 8:14 am AEST

Re: Where do I start

So this is hard. I'm definately going through a mixed episode with dysphoria. This is so confusing. On one hand I'm full of energy, but I don't have the drive or attention span to do anything. Thoughts are just running through my head and they get all jumbled up so all I can do is sit on my couch and do nothing.

I just don't care anymore. I don't care if I live or die. I don't care how I look I don't care if I get sick I just don't care.

In response to: Re: Where do I start

SemlySenior Contributor19 May 2025, 11:26 am AEST

Re: Where do I start

Thank you for keeping on being here @snowflake231. Signing up for a support group was super brave, and the conversation with your mental health gp might offer some change, however small. I’ve never heard anyone else say they have a mental health gp (I do, and feel privileged yet fraudulent like someone else probably needs it more or would make better progress - be a more deserving patient - see the things we tell ourselves). I’m thinking of you again today. Just imagine I’ve joined you in the dark hole … or I’m tunnelling from mine to yours so we can share a hole until some more light shines in. Sorry if that’s a crap analogy. I hope for good things for you.

In response to: Re: Where do I start

snowflake231Senior Contributor19 May 2025, 1:02 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

@Semly

I used to have a bulk billing psychiatrist but he retired and I can't find another one as I just can not afford it.
at my local medical clinic we have a gp that only does mental health. He used to work for the local inpatient unit. So he is my only option. I'm not sure how good he is I managed to get an appt with him tomorrow when I'm just going to lay it on him.

In response to: Re: Where do I start

SemlySenior Contributor19 May 2025, 1:44 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

@snowflake231 I i really hope he’s good and has anything new or reassuring or helpful for you. ❄️

In response to: Where do I start

lillylavanderNew Contributor20 May 2025, 11:59 am AEST

Re: Where do I start

Hi Snowflake,

I feel like some of your replies are responses from your question being put into chatgpt. I do not agree with the responses but here is my personnel one.

I have 3 son's aged in their 30's & 40's who don't speak to me at all. 8 great children I don't see because I didn't know I have had a mental illness all my life. I am only just waking up to that fact now and it is giving me strength to find help.

I'm scared of uncovering everything I have buried, but I think I need to so I can begin to mend my fractured family.

I don't have answers for you. Just ears and understanding.

Sometimes it helps me get through by thinking there is always someone worse off that me.

In response to: Re: Where do I start

Ru-beeModerator20 May 2025, 12:19 pm AEST

Re: Where do I start

Hello @lillylavander, I just wanted to quickly pop by and welcome to the forums.

Thank you for sharing your own experience here, it sounds like it's taking a lot of courage to confront your past, but it's admirable that you've recognised that this something that needs to be done to move forward for your family.

It's completely okay for your views and experiences to differ from other responses on here, everyone's coming at it from their own personal experience, though because often we have members speaking from their own experiences it could be a bit hurtful to have it be suggested that their posts are coming from AI.

Though, having said that I know lots of people find ChatGPT to be a great source of emotional support, so maybe it's a compliment!

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