My life sucks

Hi @Cuddlebear 🫂

I have a zoom meetup thing coming up on Monday 14th that I think I’m gonna attend, it’s basically a meeting where us women on the autism spectrum basically just chill out and have a conversation/chit chat with each other sort of thing

And on Tuesday I have a volunteer placement and I’m kinda nervous for that, but at the same time I hope I do well on it 🤞

@Cuddlebear how are you today?

@Blackcloud The meetups sound really good. Oooh a volunteer placement should be awesome. It’s totally normal to feel nervous I’m sure you will do an ace job!

@Blackcloud I’m really struggling. Feeling awful and lots of worry too. I’ve had no relief for ages and it’s so hard living like this.

how are you today?

@Cuddlebear i really wanna try and go to the meeting again as last time when i did, i joined 25 minutes late due to finishing up a class at the time, but that time when i joined, i had my camera off and didn't engage with the rest of the participants in the call at all. it was a bit embarassing and i thought since then that joining these social groups where i can connect with other autistic people didn't end up helping me, but now I wanna try again and see how i can really go about it. I did attend a different zoom meeting that was catered to autistics a few weeks ago and that one went okay, but yeah i'll have to see how i can go with the one that's held on monday. i hope i won't have to end up feeling like it hasn't helped me again.

I'm really sorry to hear about that. I know it's really hard for you at the moment, and I want you to know that we're always here for you. I imagine the housing situation is very difficult, hey? 😞 I can relate to having lots of worries about the uncertainties, especially when we want to take care and protect ourselves from those worried 'uncertainties'. Sending you hugs my friend 🫂

@Blackcloud Oh I didn’t realise you had a bad experience. It’s good you are willing to give it another try as it might be a positive experience when you attend on Monday. I’m really hoping it is and you are able to connect more with community and feel like it was helpful for you too.

Yes the housing situation has been awful. I still don’t have anywhere to move to. Thing is I’d already had some big stuff going on before that and this has just really added to it. Yeah the future is uncertain and it’s hard when it involves where you will live. It’s one of those things that can’t just be brushed to the side as we all need a roof over our head. Thank you for being here lovely and being so understanding too.

@Cuddlebear Thats definitely true about the last part - the uncertainty of whether we will be able to secure a housing or not before its too late is definitely something that we can’t brush it off with and that it’s going to have a long term negative affect/impact on us in many ways when it comes to dealing with this.

I know this isn’t that relevant to your situation, but Im on the DSP (via Centrelink) and I know that if I were to have a partner and have to live with him in the future, then my payments will definitely either drastically decrease or my DSP would be cancelled if that’s the case. It’s part of why I wish and would like to remain single, as being single while on dsp is the only way for me to live right now. But then last time when I raised about this to my mum everytime she ‘introduces’ me to a guy she wants me to be with -_- she always says that he’ll financially support me as that’s what Cambodian husbands do, but I know for a fact that especially in MY generation now, that that’s not even the case for ALL Cambodian men, and I hate how my mum is so old-schooled and how she still believes in some or most of the ‘traditional’ things…it’s why I question at times on why I was born in to this culture and why I was biologically assigned to this ethnicity from before birth….like seriously

@Blackcloud Oh lovely your mum is old school thinking. I totally understand what you are saying and having your DSP is so important. It’s just really important to have your own income whether you are single or partnered. My mum always encouraged me to have my own income and not rely on another person. This gives more independence and safety. New generations have different ways of doing things that’s for sure. It can be really hard when older generations who have certain cultural norms just don’t understand modern life and values etc. It’s also just important thwt you decide what is right for you or who you might date. I’m glad you have the DSP and can use that to provide housing and food etc for yourself.

Yes sometimes we can worry about things that are not happening or have very low chance of happening. But housing security is not one of those things. I’m just so overwhelmed in my situation and can’t believe this is what I’m facing in my 50’s. It’s just really scary to be honest and it only took 1 thing to really cause chaos in my life. Being poor isnt fun sometimes.

BTW the support function isn’t working for me at the moment …

@Cuddlebear yeah, after all that I was able to tell my mum to stop trying to get me to be with a cambodian guy and her rseponse to that was "ok, no worries" and I evem told her that being in a relationship in your 20s is too young and that she needs to fricken give us more time to enjoy our lives within our 20s and stuff, and her response was "ok"....and since then, she has not brought up anything about wanting me to join some social groups or events which I know has something to do with her wanting me to 'have someone that i can look up to and take care of me with' ...it's why i'm scared and worried about the future that she's gonna pull this kind of thing again

that's ok about the support function, i appreciate u for letting me know ❤️

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@Blackcloud wrote:

@Cuddlebear yeah, after all that I was able to tell my mum to stop trying to get me to be with a cambodian guy and her rseponse to that was "ok, no worries" and I evem told her that being in a relationship in your 20s is too young and that she needs to fricken give us more time to enjoy our lives within our 20s and stuff, and her response was "ok"....and since then, she has not brought up anything about wanting me to join some social groups or events which I know has something to do with her wanting me to 'have someone that i can look up to and take care of me with' ...it's why i'm scared and worried about the future that she's gonna pull this kind of thing again

that's ok about the support function, i appreciate u for letting me know ❤️

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@Cuddlebear