My life sucks

@tyme by the way i just managed to talk to lifeline about the issue this evening. was nice

That's so great to hear @Blackcloud . I'm glad you can say it 'was nice'. Sometimes, it's good to just et if off your chest. It doesn't fix anything, but it helps to have someone listen.

true @tyme

I just read your posts, @Blackcloud .

Sometimes, when our loved ones have been brought up a certain way, it can be difficult to 'go against the grain' as it were. I hear your frustration with what is essentially a 'heteronormative' point of view. This includes the pressure to marry someone of the opposite sex and have children. As someone who has decided not to do this, you might be seen as rebelling or 'less-than' those who comply.

In terms of being a member of our ethnicity, I prefer to take what suits me and respectfully decline what doesn't.

There is still so much positivity to take from our culture, if you can. Those who survived the genocide are survivors. Out of a nuclear family of six, only the women survived: my mother and my grandmother. So the way I see it, I come from a line of strong women. And I am a survivor too. I have made the commitment to break the cycle of intergenerational trauma that comes with such a heritage. Up until recent years, I identified myself as an ABC (Australian- Born Chinese). Now I've added another component: so I identify now as Australian- born Cambodian-Chinese. As soon as I said that to my mental health worker, he reflected that this identity includes the possibility of trauma as part of my life.

And as for my Chinese heritage, there is also a rich linguistic, cultural and historic culture I am a part of that has survived since ancient times. Again, take what works for you and leave what doesn't.

There are days that I wish I wasn't in an ethnic minority, and standing out simply for the colour of my skin and hair. But alas, that is out of my control. I've been in communities where I am the minority, but in other contexts the community is one where I fit in well. The places I spend time in these days are full of Asians, including many Cambodians, Cambodian-Chinese, Vietnamese, Vietnamese-Chinese, etc. This includes the next generation of children from these backgrounds. They are so excited when they learn that I am one of them. And I have the opportunity to be a strong role model for them. I try to do that the best I can.

@tyme @MissGremlin

@Blackcloud What's the happy haps hun?

Hope your weekend has some goodness in store?

@Jynx Haha, well there’s nothing happy going on for me at the moment, not ever.

: P

but I was able to talk to lifeline just then about the issue (refer to the above/previous) I’ve mentioned on this thread that I’ve tagged tyme and dreamy on.

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@Spirit_Healer wrote:

I just read your posts, @Blackcloud .

This includes the pressure to marry someone of the opposite sex and have children. As someone who has decided not to do this, you might be seen as rebelling or 'less-than' those who comply.

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and I’d rather be seen as that, so therefore they can stay mad and allow me to carry on with how I choose to live my life as.

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@Spirit_Healer wrote:

There are days that I wish I wasn't in an ethnic minority, and standing out simply for the colour of my skin and hair. But alas, that is out of my control. I've been in communities where I am the minority, but in other contexts the community is one where I fit in well. The places I spend time in these days are full of Asians, including many Cambodians, Cambodian-Chinese, Vietnamese, Vietnamese-Chinese, etc. This includes the next generation of children from these backgrounds. They are so excited when they learn that I am one of them. And I have the opportunity to be a strong role model for them. I try to do that the best I can.

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That’s good to know and great that you’re able to connect with all the other Asians in the places you spend time at as well.

To be honest, I don’t have much else to say in response to your post so I’m just gonna leave it at that.

@Jynx I’m a bit exhausted af man

Oh good stuff @Blackcloud

I feel you, I got the big exhaustion too! Sometimes there's delirium tho! 😝

That's so interesting @Spirit_Healer . Thanks for sharing! I have asian heritage, but I don't know anything about it except I like noodles lol... I don't even like rice! So yeah... I can't say much... I grew up not knowing anything about asian heritage or anything.

I've travelled to China twice (I think?) I can't remember. But it was nothing different to travelling to NZ, US, India or anything... it was just a trip.

So yeah, I find this convo quite interesting @Blackcloud