Tillogram

BIG HUGS to you @Till23 .

I really admire you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for just being you.

Goodnight.

Cycle is probably not the right word @Dimity, more that it fluctuates because of triggers occurring randomly and depends on your other underlying MH issues.

Yes I get that @Till23 . I just hadn't twigged the profound impact on mood which in retrospect is obvious - it's not just flashbacks etc.

Hope you sleep well tonight and work tomorrow is OK.

Yes @Dimity I had symptoms but until I started looking into it I didn’t realise they were the cPTSD. I suppose because more is known about PTSD you think of the typical flashbacks, nightmares etc and maybe assign the symptoms to something else

I hope you sleep well

Thanks @The-red-centaur

I suppose I have internalised some of the stuff from child abuse, which isn’t helpful.

Sometimes I am able to celebrate “wins”, but it’s only short lasting.

I think I really need to work on this “Not Good Enough” problem, because it’s certainly giving me a lot of grief!

Thanks @MJG017

As you know, I think you are incredible for all the things you have achieved.

I also think maybe I am up to the point of considering this “Not Good Enough” problem and maybe it is making it worse in the short term (I hope that’s what’s happening). So hopefully I can reframe and surmount the thoughts. It just seems really difficult now, it has always been difficult but currently it’s really hard I think because I’ve subconsciously decided to deal with it.

Thanks @Dannie2004 for sharing your story which was very well expressed despite English not being your first language.

I do think that life is a journey and sometimes we only look at the result we want to achieve and rush to get there and fail to notice the small things on the way that actually really count.

Congratulations for getting into a great university, which is an achievement in itself. It can be a very stressful time and as you say there is always some deadline for an assignment or an exam and in multiple subjects.

I wish you well on your journey that really you’ve only just started being only in your 20s

Unfortunately weather not good here @Appleblossom so we got wet at sport! The drive home was terrible in places due to rain being so heavy all cars had to really slow down due to very heavy rain and fog in some places. Made it home though, some streets in my area flooded so had to go on a few detours! Then found my house was flooded due to a leaky roof!

Sport was good though as it was a team event so you have to co-ordinate with each other. It’s good for endorphins. Everyone agreed we’d done well.

I’m glad your musical pursuits are going well and keeping you occupied and giving you a sense of achievement in a couple of domains; music and social at least.

It is my pleasure, thank you @Till23

you got a solid point where life is beautiful and unique journey. Only you can paint it with colourful memories so please don’t leave it black and white. Everything we gone through will build our personality and our experiences in the future.
For everyone who is having the thinking of “not good enough”
If you look back from 10 years ago, you was totally different from what you are now, you wouldn’t even think that you will stand here, doing all the great thing that will only happen in your dreams, or simply just living a life where everything you have been through just happen like a dream. You have gone this far already, why would you some complaints personal? Why would you grieve about some value that no one can determine? In stead, take it as a question “Which do I need to improve? What can I do to improve it? When can I start to improve it”

To everyone who are walking on their own path: “We were not gone this far to be stopped, there will be a way out, always, trust our believes and let our souls lead the way”.
P/s: In case anyone ask, Im not following any religion, all the quotes was my experience from many books in many language that I have read. It’s late now, I wish everyone a good night, a joyful week ahead and a safe drive.

@Till23 when I read about your roof leak I was worried my ... "How's the weather" question was not appropriate. Sounds really tough. I am hoping it doesn't cost a fortune to fix the leaking and none of your stuff is damaged. Sometimes it is hard to know what the right thing to say is. I try not to be... Too advice giving.... But keep some wisdom afloat without going under water myself in my paddling through life.

Teamwork and sport can be great. Teamwork was mostly my style but I didn't pursue it. I did do most of the sporty stuff with kids during the marriage and wanted my son to have plenty experience. He chose music.

Been dealing with a few parents who were pushy and controlling about it. With my physical (neck) and general and family mental health vulnerabilities I have to be careful of myself. Many people just think it is weakness but have not got a clue... What many of us have endured.

I need to cancel the rock group in the garage band around the corner. One of the guys last week was a bit bullying and I just can't tolerate it anymore. I don't care what the excuse is.

Yesterday I went to a new group with people I have known for a few years. It is early music, gentle music and acoustic music with good musicians.

Anyway you take care and I hope today is not too hard with water damage.