Tillogram

Hey @Till23 ,

I hear you. But in a way, look at it that it is an opportunity for growth.

It happens to me too. When it happens, you have a choice to:

1) withdraw and stop posting

2) develop ways to manage and grow from it

You know what, I recently felt really good in being able to support a member work through a challenging situation - instead of moving away from conflict, it is about moving towards conflict. This has it's own teaching and learning.

We are more than willing to support you through this.

I feel you have it in you to be able to learn from this interaction you are referring to.

But as I said, please know it happens to me too - even a few incidents yesterday.

@NightFury , it takes time to perfect a story. To be able to tell it in a way that is helpful for both the audience and yourself.

How has work been for you this week?

Thanks for your response @tyme. It is a difficult situation. I have attempted to resolve the situation by explaining in a follow-up what my intention was in the first post.

Of course the tagged person may not read that post for some time and it is any discomfort I may have caused that person in the time between reading the two posts that is distressing to me.

I know that withdrawing is not the way to deal with the situation. Yes, it is a learning experience as is anything in life really.

I always try to be careful with my wording, but I suppose that's the problem with these written communications, you cannot see how your words are being received and can't correct the situation immediately.

It's really good to be reflective about the situation which I can see you are. Whilst I recognise it may feel very uncomfortable, know that this sort of thing happens. It is not a personal 'attack'. As you said, written communication has its own nuances that are sometimes hard to interpret.

Do you feel there is anything you'd like us to work on with you in relation to this @Till23 ? (doesn't have to be right now)

My my experience, I feel that if I sleep on it for a night or so, I am more able to look at it objectively later. I wonder if this would be helpful for you too?

Thanks @tyme yes I often feel better about something that has worried me after a day or two (this is particularly the case with anger). It's like the cortisol or adrenaline has to be metabolised out of my body. That wouldn't be the explanation, but it is likely it's a neurotransmitter either continuing or an inhibitory one not working. Probably playing one neural pathway only, so yep have to get that neuroplasticity activated!

I have had contact with the person regarding the post and I think we have resolved the misunderstandings/poor communication.

If I can, I try to address a situation as soon as I am aware of it. In that way I can possibly n!p the Not Good Enough in the bud.

Do you think I need to address my communications?

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@Till23 wrote:

Do you think I need to address my communications?

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There's always room for improvement, but at this stage, I haven't not seen anything which I can pinpoint and say that you need to work on an area.

I find your posts so balanced. Sometimes, you may have times when you are feeling low and you find it harder to get out of a difficult place, but I've noticed that within a few days, you are able to bounce back and not only share your experiences, but also use those experiences to help others.

This is a valuable quality of a peer worker. I honestly feel you really have it in you if this is something you want to pursue. No pressure of course. I just know how interested you are to work with people and share your experiences. I've seen a lot of peer work roles in hospitals to support both carers and patients. This may be of interest.

I subscribe to peer work roles on Jora Jobs so they email me a list of jobs everyday. This helps me stay in touch with how industries are evolving. It's quite interesting actually. I'm not looking for a job or anything - it's just good to see what's out there. @Till23

Thanks @tyme I would like to do something that uses my experiences.

Thanks for the tip re the jobs place.

I don't live in a city so there may be less availability, but I shall definitely look into it.

Thank you for your support in this area.

Yesterday I boldly contacted a place about a paid study on LE in CSA for educating health workers, unfortunately I'll be overseas at the time. But I briefly outlined some of my story and the lady wrote back about another study, but I am too old! I did say to keep me posted though. The first one was really interesting it was about healthcare accessability for survivors of CSA I would have had to travel for it, but wasn't that far for 4 separate days.

I was a community ambassador for an event for cancer 2 weekends ago, where I told my cancer story. Footage from the day with me, was briefly on the local news.

Amazing stuff @Till23 ! So you are already doing it and sharing your story in a way that helps others. I can see you have it in you and this is your 'calling'.

Sometimes, we feel crap that we are going through some big hurdles in life, but looking back, I feel everything happens for a reason.

I'm so glad you have plucked up the courage to reach out to services. Just keep your eyes open for anything of interest @Till23

Well @tyme it was a bit more acceptable to people because it was about cancer.

To get up in front of 600 people and talk about my MH would be a bit more of a stretch.

I was pretty nervous, because it's not normal for me to put myself out there like that.

However, I thought it was worth it to help cancer research.

I have done City to Surf in Sydney (14km) to raise money for Beyond Blue one year and I walked 100km for Black Dog Institute another year. I've done fundraising for cancer as well.

I think having cancer was actually a good thing for me. I have gained many positives from it, one of which is working on my MH.

@Till23 how are you holding up?