Tillogram

@Till23 No need to apologise, I am very grateful that you have shared all of this with me - thank you. 🥰

I can see you have been through so many challenges and painful experiences throughout your life, and at the risk of sounding cliche, you truly have empowered yourself in so many ways.

I can't imagine how hard it would have been to manage so much of this on your own... please know that I have sat with what you have shared about your health, grief, and trauma, and I am sending you a warm virtual hug.

I am so sorry to hear about your fur baby. 😔I will make sure we check in on Friday, as I am sure it will be a very vulnerable day for you. We will all be here, okay?

I know that retiring has been hard for you too, but you seem to have a tenacity and resilience about you that shines brightly through your resourcefulness. I think it's so wonderful that you have been able to find a sense of engagement through volunteering, sports training, table tennis, music, gardening, and in the past, study. (What was your favourite thing you have studied by the way?)

I am glad you have been able to find professional support throughout your journey too. It can be tough when it gets expensive though... have you ever asked your GP to extend your plan? There are constraints, but sometimes they can do this - it's worth a shot!

I really want to thank you again for sharing your story with me and I'm so happy to be another person that can be here for you. 💛

I'm not good at self-compassion really @AuntGlow because of using this "doing something" strategy. I definitely have the "shoulds". Rationally I know nothing terrible will happen if I don't do many of the things I "should" do at least not at the time (eventually I'll usually need to do something), but I still feel the guilt and feel ashamed that I can't manage to do things I think other people do. I never get through my list, and I don't berate myself for that, because who does? But I wish I could do more. Also sometimes I procrastinate about things.

It's almost like I need someone else's permission to take it easy

Oops obviously I was typing the same time as you @AuntGlow

I hope you're feeling a bit better and more rested after a quiet day @Till23 . You've been under a lot of pressure and many of us need to pause from time to time.

@AuntGlow I have pretty much done, and continue to do everything by myself, which is often a very lonely place.

I got very little/no support when I disclosed the CSA and little since, mainly it's ignored.

I do activities now because I know I have to, I know exercise and social engagement has a positive effect on MH. Volunteering has a positive effect (I'm not 100% sure on the evidence for this). However, I get little joy out of these things currently. I have got something out of them but I'm not good at social interactions, despite my age, so thet are always a challenge.

I have studied a few different things, I like sciencey type things, I've becoming much more interested in psychology and how the brain works lately!

I have the full 10 sessions for this year

Thank you friday will be a difficult evening

I probably feel physically rested @Dimity but mentally I'm still troubled.

How have you been going?

Sending you lots of hugs @Till23 and sitting with you 💖

Thanks @Shaz51 I wish I could lift myself out of this slump and contribute something

Good afternoon @Till23, how are things feeling for you today?

Firstly, I just wanted to say that you absolutely deserve support, especially around your disclosure of CSA. I am so sorry that people haven't shown up for you... if you could have any support right now, what would that look like?

Exercise and social engagement help me heaps too, so I think it's really great that you are making time for things that will help your mental health. Studies have actually shown that volunteering helps due to the connectedness we feel and the act of giving/kindness - it helps to boost all the feel-good chemicals. 🥰

It's okay for your sense of joy with things to fluctuate. Perhaps something small needs to change to match where you are at?

Ooh, yes! What is your favourite psychological theory?

Always here with you. 💛

At least you're physically rested @Till23 . The troubling thoughts can be a work in progress.

• I'm quite low atm. I've indulged in some advocacy and I'll go for a walk. Perhaps after that I'll be able to deal with domestic stuff. Behavioural activation etc.